Why did you decide to have more than 2 children?

[Uki]

Hello

I'm currently pg with ds2, and always thought I'd only have 2 dc, but now I think I want 3 or 4. Although I think it is rare to have this size family now.

So just wondering why you choose to have more than 2? and if you have suffered from any discouragement/negativity?

I know it seems weird to be thinking of 3 or 4 when i haven't even had 2 yet, but i like to know where i am going. I also kinda feel like I have missed out as i had 3 m/c, So I am actually on 5th pregnancy. Maybe I want to replace them

Twinmummy-You do very well, to do it all yourself. You are doing eight jobs at once. My friend's mum who had triplets and three other dc under 5 was also offered help, but said she ended up looking after them, they would nap on the couch and asked for tea, not paid help of course!

being an only child I really wanted to make my own little tribe and now have 3 ds's. Thinking about no.4, though undecided at mo as my dh is older than me and it might just send us over the cliffs of insanity
I had lots of similar comments re: was it planned/are you trying for a girl? it really upset me at the time, some of these comments were from people I hardly knew. I felt very defensive at the time trying to justify my life to other people explaining how I don't discriminate between boys and girls - they are people!
If I was lucky enough to have another, I shall be ready with my response which would be to smile confidently and say absolutely nothing- its none of their beeswax! these type of comments aren't about me - it says more about the person asking them.
I can remember someone deliberating about whether to have more children on a thread last year and someone replying that you know if you want more if you feel there is someone missing.
I have never been so tired and busy - but I have never felt so happy and full
good luck with your decision x

Hi Uki - you're thinking ahead!!

I agree with everyone else who's said wait until you've had no.2 before you decide on no.3. I had a really difficult year after no.2 was born. I gave all my baby stuff away and sent dh to ask about the snip. But....when he got to 18months and started sleeping and being a proper person everything changed and as you can see from the August thread no.3 happened!

That will definately be it! I'm oldest of 4 and my biggest worry is that with more children I won't have time to just play with them as will always have jobs to do (not house proud or anything either!). I can't remember my mum ever getting down on the floor for a good old roll around!

Most of my friends have 2 and keep talking about having more. If you think too hard about it you'd never do it! I couldn't live with the baby no.3 that never arrived but was often thought about.

Barking- i get these comments, and only have one ds at the moment, so i am a bit scared of that too if i try for another. I think all children are blessings. I agree the people who say them say more about themselves, and are just plain nosey.

I'm the youngest of 3 but due to a broken relationship, only ever had DS1. Until now, that is! I'm now in a great new relationship and pg with DC2. My DP and I have discussed having another child after this one is born but as he is an only child, he was happy to have just the one. I might have changed his mind tho and said that it might be nice to pop out another one before I get too old (i'm 39 now).

fivefingered
you should go along to somewhere like Esher in Surrey
where you don't get much of a house for a million.

LOTS of huge families there... 4,5,6,7 kids.
but of course they can afford help with a nanny annexe etc!!!

def not working class around there, if anything it is a status symbol for men to show they can support such a large family.

Uki - I'm finding I am becoming more assertive with the more childrend I have, either that or I just haven't got the time to deal with people like that anymore.
Its rather liberating

We are having no 6 in october......we carried on because we wanted a big family, could afford one and didn't see any reason to stop at 2,( just one sibling seems so sad to me...). We get the odd jovial comment but nothing really negative. It's great though this will probably be the last as am now 44 !

amaid- felt like saying a similar thing, but couldn't be bothered IYKWIM

This is a lovely thread. I have 5 dc and it's my dh that gets broody not me! Though the smell of a newborn is ooooooooooh. We dont get much negativity - once you are passed 3 dcs people think you're a bit odd anyway . Twinmummy and I have said on another thread how we often get the telly question- "5 kids - haven't you got a telly?". "Just think how many we'd have if we DIDN'T have one" usually works as an answer

amidaiwish- oops I'm sorry I just called you a maid! Hope your not working class.

crazylazy-LOL your a bit od anyway, and love the telly response. Are your dc's close in age?

awww crazy....the smell of a newborn....i'm gonna have to get a job on the maternity ward to get the broodiness out of me!!!!

My sis is having a baby boy in June tho...cant wait.....!

My sis in law in having one in June too Twinmummy! Will get my fix then .
UKI ages are 14 down to 2. The easiest gap is the 1 year between the last two, it's like having twins and they are great company for each other.

Gosh crazy...mine are between 14 and 2!!!!

lol

I've left it too late for any age gaps like that, sounds fun though.

1. always quite liked the idea of 3. 2 is too.... 2.4ish!

2. as soon as I had DD2 I absolutley knew it couldn'ty be the last time I had a child. I knew I had to have one more and that feeling never went away.

3. the main reason - DD1 has Sn's and I want a bigger sibling support network then just DD2. I thought it would take the pressure of DD2 and give her someone else to call up later in life and say 'have you checked in on Lottie, is she OK' etc etc. DD1 will never have kids, again takes pressure off DD2 to be the provider of any grandchildren, and so on and so on.

Well i had better not have a 6th pregnancy then as yours resulted in twins didnt it!! Yes, Uki, you're right, it is a lot of fun, I love it. My oldest dd says she wants 8 children so I hope that means our lives aren't too manic as it hasn't put her off having a big family . Have warned her though to tell her prospective dh this AFTER the wedding day, not before!

We're expecting our 4th in early July and the oldest will be 6 and the youngest is 2. DH and i always felt we would like to try and have 4. I have to say that to my suprise it does feel like my family will be complete with the next arrival - a relief because I could never before imagine feeling that way. I have to say that life is very busy with 3 young ones but that never put me off. Pregnancy is hard work though when there are lots of other siblings at home! We're not wealthy but manage fine - I suppose if finances had been important to us we would have stopped at 2 but we're not particularly bothered by not having much spare cash. I think people do respond more negatively to 3rd plus pregnancies but warm to it over 9 mos. More people seem to have 3 , but at 4 we''l be the biggest familyin DS' class. Well done to whoever has 8 though - I thought I was busy!It can be hard work but when I see our 3 playing together and enjoying each other's company it is the best thing in the world! I also think that having a very hands on DH/partner who also really wants a large family is important.

After DS#2 was born we knew we wanted one last one, so we planed to have another by the time DS#2 started nursery but due to taking 18 months to conceive DS#2 will be starting year-1 by the time this LO (27+5) is born, I don't know why but we always knew we wanted 3, not 1, not 2, not 4, just 3! DH said our house only can take 3 DC maybe thats why LOL!

Hi - simply - because somebody was missing. And yes, lots of comments and disapproval from family and certain friends. V odd.