First trimester blues :(

[bella1426]

Hi ladies this is my first post. I'm 9 weeks pregnant and feeling a bit down and wanted to have a rant/see if anyone can relate? The baby is planned and it happened immediately which was both great and a bit of a shock! I've had a rough few weeks with a sinus infection and nausea and tiredness and just feeling a bit fed up and resentful that everything has changed so suddenly for me and the man gets to sail through it all Scott free. My partner is great in general but there's been a bit more socialising than usual lately in between the rugby and paddy's weekend etc. He's at a party for one of my best friends 40ths tonight which I was too sick to go to and is now at an after party while I lie awake with bloody pregnancy insomnia. Rage! I had my first child on my own seven years ago and was so looking forward to this pregnancy and not doing it on my own this time but it still feels like you need to go through it all on your own and feeling a bit lonely at the moment 😢
Too sick and tired to go out and see people, can't be bothered lying about why I'm not drinking etc, no energy to go to the gym or exercise and just comfort eating and getting fat and feeling unattractive on top of it all! I know it's all a bit petty and moaney and I should be really grateful for the pregnancy - and I am - but just struggling a bit with the isolation and sudden change to my life at the moment. Hoping things will improve in 2nd trimester when I'll at least my secret will be out! Feel like reading pregnancy forums are the only thing keeping me sane at the moment!

Hi @bella1426 you are certainly not alone! I'm 31 weeks now and my first trimester still makes me cringe. I honestly felt like I had a 3 month hangover (you know, like, a wine hangover? Headachey and all) whereas my OH was making excuses for me not being at various events etc because I just could not face it.

You've been pregnant before, so you know the drill. It can be such an isolating time, no matter OH's best intentions. Especially in the early days where the secret's not out yet, you're not showing, but just feeling crap

We're all here for you my golden rule is by 16 weeks it gets easier in terms of nausea, headaches etc. Of course after 12 weeks when you can finally escape the 'why aren't you drinking??' questions and having to think of creative answers each time

All the best and congrats on the pregnancy!

The first trimester was pretty evil for me too. Sickness, insomnia, spots, constant period like pains and I either wanted everyone dead or the slightest thing would make me cry.
I'm 39+5 and much more resentful of my OH now. Just how he can move about so freely and have no issue with bending over makes me extremely jealous lol.

Thanks! You've hit he nail on the head Cat, it is isolating and I think I was going in with rose tinted glasses about how different it would be with a partner, in some ways it's actually harder than being pregnant on your own! I've made an appointment to see a counsellor this week, think I could do with talking it all through with someone for the sake of my sanity and relationship. Hormones are crap, just feel so u reasonably moody and angry at the moment 😤

Hasn't helped the rage that DP only got home at 7 this morning and is snoring on the sofa now with the curtains closed
He's been out without me more in the last 6 weeks than he has been in our entire relationship!! Granted I'm pretty crap company at the moment and generally asleep by nine but it's still pissing me off

3rd pregnancy. 11 weeks pregnant. I am so done! Never felt like this before. I have one illness after the next and with awful morning sickness to boot. I've had pgp from 3 weeks and I am suffering with insomnia. I am wiped out with a humongous list of chores (life admin type stuff) and I'm fed up. This was very much a surprise pregnancy so I feel completely thrown into it.

The one saving grace is that DH has heroically given up the booze with me! Oh and that tesco sell alcohol free cans of gin and tonic which I am going to try tonight now the latest bug has cleared.

We haven't told anyone yet so it does feel quite isolating and the longer we wait the more worried I feel about it.

I have late babies too so probably have another 31 weeks to go!

OP I feel your pain
My relationship is not very stable and I have been left more on my own since finding out I am pregnant than before hand
It is very lonely and isolating

Maverick that is SO HEROIC of your DH! I've dropped a few less than subtle hints and it's just not happening at all! I didn't really miss booze on my last pregnancy but with him going out and drinking wine at home it's a constant reminder of what I'm missing out on! Might try those g&ts!

It sounds silly but being the only non drinker is SO isolating. It's not even about the drink, it's just another symbol of something that you can't do. It would be like if DH sat in front of me and ate brie and pate (I would cry). Just tried the g&t....not bad. Not the same but not a bad substitute.

You're not alone op. The first trimester is hard. And, well, the other two are not exactly picnics either. I think it's perfectly possible for a person to be grateful for a healthy pregnancy and the baby that will come at the end and feeling pissed off at the unfairness of what you alone have to give up, struggling with whatever symptoms have been thrown you way and lonely at the same time.

I am currently 24 weeks with number 2, coming down with what feels like it's going to be a horrid cold, which is shit enough at the best of times but even worse when the best the pharmacist can offer is a paracetamol and a glycerine throat sweet. On the plus side, my DP is so knackered from working and taking care of our toddler that there is no way on god's green earth he would want to stay out until 7am drinking so at least I'm not being reminded of what I'm missing out on by him.

FWIW I think 9-11 weeks is the absolute worst bit. I don't know what you found in your last pregnancy but things looked up after that both times for me. Good luck!