Big baby

[Elmery]

Hello,

I'm a first time mum, currently 36w 2days pregnant and I'm having a boy. In need of advice because I'm feeling anxious.

My baby has been measuring big on both bump measurements and scans. Bump is measuring off the chart but on scans he is around 95th centile or just above. I did the glucose tolerance test and they confirmed I don't have gestational diabetes.

At about 34 weeks we spoke to a consultant who said that she was fairly happy that I wouldn't have any issues delivering naturally even though he is big (I was very happy to hear this!).

She said the baby looks big on my chart because it's based on my BMI and she described me as a "petite mum" (I am 5ft 3, size 8 before getting pregnant). She said if the baby continues to grow at a steady rate he will only be around 8.8 pounds and that is not a big baby in the grand scheme of things. She said she didn't think I needed to come back for any more scans. That was that and we left feeling happy.

Then my bump was measured again yesterday and it is measuring even higher on the chart, like stupidly high!! My midwife said I needed another growth scan so she booked me in. Then the hospital then rang me and said that I had missed a growth scan and consultant meeting on Tuesday just gone, but they had never told me about this appointment and the consultant told us she didn't need to see us again.

I asked why I had been booked in for Tuesday and they said a consultant wanted more checks doing or something. I thought this was strange.

I'm going for a scan and consultant meeting on 27th March.

I'm posting this because I need advice, I'm feeling very anxious and stressed about what may happen during delivery. My aunties and my mum were all told that their babies were big and all were encouraged to deliver naturally - but many of these babies got stuck and ended up emergency c-sec.

I'm feeling like, if he is really so big, is it even worth trying naturally? I know my family history has a lot of babies getting stuck, I don't want my baby to be distressed. I feel like if that happened I would knowingly have put him through that. I am not precious about how he comes out, I just want him to be safe.

Unfortunately my family history is playing on my mind a lot and I don't know what to say to the consultant on 27th if my baby is measuring big again.

If he is measuring above 95th centile again, I am tempted to say can't we try to induce early so he is smaller when he comes out? Or maybe some early sweeps? I also don't know how it would come across if I outright ask for a c section, or if that is a bad idea because I know c sections carry their own risks.

Honestly, I just don't know what to say or do and feel very anxious now about giving birth to him (both for myself and for him). If anyone has any advice at all or experience of this can they let me know?

I was the same size as you and first baby was 9lb12
Nobody ever mentioned he might be large and he was born very easily and quickly

I would try not to worry too much about the size

My third baby was 10lb10 and again born easily
At that size they seem to come out quick and easy as they got no choice !!

@fidgety31 Thanks for your reply, it is good to know! I really think it's just because my family history keeps getting quoted by my mum and aunties and they really don't think I should be giving birth naturally after what they went through. My cousin was born with some brain damage, they suspected due to oxygen deprivation while he was stuck. This gets mentioned a lot and then with the scans and stuff it's playing on my mind.

I have heard that bigger babies are sometimes easier to deliver because as you say they come out faster!! If you can do it I can do it :) he certainly isn't looking like a 10lb-er

I really doubt they'd induce you early. Size estimates from scans have a large margin for error and so you won't be able to say with any certainty what size your baby will be.

Early sweeps would also be fairly pointless as they won't do anything if you're not near to starting labour naturally.

You can ask for a c section and give your anxiety about your family history of complications, and push for an elective section. But you're right that there are risks to c sections, and the recovery will be tougher than an uncomplicated vaginal delivery.

Try not worry about it until you've had the scan and spoken to the consultant.

I was estimated to have a 9lbs (ish) baby and was having growth scans etc.

He came at 40+5 weighing 6lbs 2oz!

@assassinatedbeauty Thanks for the reply - I have no idea about inductions or when/what circumstances they do that early, or sweeps. I supposed the best thing to do is just trust their judgement on 27th based on the scans. You're right he could be totally normal sized, I've heard the scans can be off. Do you know if c sections carry risk towards the baby or is it more risk towards the mum and longer recovery?

@theluckdragon Flipping heck! that's crazy. Seems crazy the scans can be so wrong! It's almost like we know too much now, cause if none of these scans had happened my entire pregnancy would have felt normal and calm. It's the vague message from everyone that my baby is not normal sized, it's made me feel so worried.

Relax if the head can came come out everything else will follow with a sensation of passing a string of sausages.

My first 8lb 10oz born in 6 hours with lots of pain relief (nervous first time mum).

My second 8lb 13oz born in 3 hours with just a tens machine.

In my experience bigger babies are born faster and easier. Perhaps because the muscles have something to push against, just a theory.

The NHS site has a good summary of the risks to you and your baby:

www.nhs.uk/conditions/caesarean-section/risks/

Basically the risks to the baby are that they could get accidentally cut by the scalpel as they cut into the uterus, and then also breathing problems can be related to it too.

The best thing to do is to wait for the next scan, listen to what the consultant thinks and ask enough questions that you're happy you know what you want to do. If you really would prefer a c section then don't be afraid to push for that.

Hi OP.

We're in a fairly similar boat I think. I've been having regular scans since my 20 week scan showed baby has a large tummy. 3 glucose tests have come back negative but midwife insists it's a 'high risk' pregnancy due to baby size. The latest scan at 36 weeks estimates baby at 8lb. The consultant said he does not want me to go over 40 weeks and has suggested sweeps twice a week from now on and have to go back and see him at 39 weeks. I'm the opposite in thought to you tho, I was 8lb12 at birth and my mum was a teeny size 6 pre pregnancy and I came out quickly and easily so I've been hoping the same will happen with my baby. I've been desperate to have a home birth with no interference from medical staff but now they are pressurising me to have medical interventions due to the size of the baby. If I had family history of complications I might feel differently about it all but at the moment I feel like they are trying to tell me I'm incapable of delivering my own baby without giving me the chance to try. I hope your appointment with the consultant gives you some answers so you feel more at ease. The worst thing would be for you to be anxious and frightened about the birth. If it puts your mind at rest you are absolutely ok to ask for a planned section. At least then you know what to expect and can plan ahead. I'm now nearly 37 weeks so going to start trying 'self help' techniques to get this baby moving before they try to induce me which is what I think they want to do at 39 weeks.

@rosegarden45 - it sounds like we are in a very similar boat! The difference is my first consultant was totally laid back and said she saw absolutely no issues with me doing things naturally. But then this mystery appointment was booked for Tuesday just gone, which no one told me about. When I asked them why that had even been booked when the consultant said everything was fine, they said a consultant wanted me to have another scan. This made me feel like my original consultant might have been overruled?? I think this has been cause for worry as well cause I was so happy the first consultant said I could do it naturally and remain low risk (no more scans) but now it's like they changed their minds haha.

To be fair the consultant did say that in her opinion I would be fine, but another consultant may have a different opinion. I trusted her opinion though, she was lovely and made me feel very much at ease.

When I spoke to my midwife the next day about it, she kind of said she didn't agree with the consultant because to say "8.8 isn't big in the grand scheme of things" doesn't mean 8.8 isn't big for me? She said "we use these charts for a reason" so to ignore what the charts say didn't make sense to her.

Then again as a previous poster has written, 8.8 actually isn't that big and I'm sure smaller women than me have delivered much bigger babies than that!!

It's all very confusing! I am going to go on 27th and maybe just hear out what they are going to say. They know what they are doing and suppose I have to put my trust in them. I have a niggly feeling that I should ask for an elected c sec but that's only cause of my family history. From the start of my pregnancy though I have much prefered the idea of natural birth, like you. (I would be too scared to do it at home though!!)

I had the opposite thing happen to me; lots of scans because baby (1st and only) was measuring 'too small' externally and when I had her (early) she was 8lb7oz.

A section basically displaces the risk onto the mother. An elcs is generally pretty calm and low risk.

When you see the consultant, tell them about your family history and about the member of your family who has brain damage. Explain your worries and ask them to outline options. Ask them how the birth will go if the baby is indeed unable to be born? At what point will they section? Will they insist on VB with assistance (forceps/ventouse plus episiotomy) or will there be an earlier trigger to go straight to cs etc etc.

@hypermice thanks that sounds like good advice, they need to be aware of my family history to make an informed decision, if an elecs is much lower risk for my baby then that's what I'm going to ask for - I will deal with the longer recovery I have a good support network around me. :) if the scan comes back that he isn't a shocking weight and they are absolutely sure there isn't reason for major concern I will go down the natural route maybe with a plan in place with the consultant if things go wrong.

Recovery from an elcs isnt really any worse than recovery from a complex or traumatic birth. I was up and about the next day and back to normal general pottering in a couple of weeks. Obviously you need to take it easy and anything strenuous needs to wait a lot longer than a fortnight but it isn’t a terrible procedure. It has risks like any surgery, or indeed any VB.

Good luck - take a notebook if it helps you.

I wouldn't push for an induction if it's not medically necessary. Trying to force the baby out before your body is ready is rarely an easy path.

My first was a tiny 4lbs 13 at birth. Although her birth was pretty fast and not very painful, I never really got the urge to push. They ended up pulling her out ventous. With my second they estimated him to be over 9lbs at birth from the growth scans. He was 8lbs 1 and just popped out in under 3 hours, easiest birth ever. Try not to worry, all births are different and size doesn't really mean anything, you can still have an easy birth with a bigger baby. I found pushing loads easier.

My third baby born naturally 10 days overdue was 10.5lb and he got stuck, shoulder dystocia and all around incredibly traumatic. Luckily no nerve or brain damage, but I wasn't going to risk that ever again, so my fourth baby I pushed for an elective section. She was a week early and 10.4lb so I'm glad I stuck with my gut (I really had to push for one, they weren't keen at all).

I'm now 36w with baby five and he will also be an elective, this time with no question. They just automatically assumed that was the plan.

My scans all have him measuring 4 weeks ahead and 99th centile so I'd bet money he'll be near 11lb but we'll see!

Recovery wasn't that bad, as long as you have the help and ability to do NOTHING but potter about for two weeks. Pushing yourself will only result in delaying recovery.

Anyway, I would stick to your guns and go with your gut instinct. See how the scan goes and go from there. Good luck!

@imace thanks for telling me what happened with your babies. My aunties and mum have all told me how traumatic it was when their babies got stuck and then emergency c sec. As I said none of them have ever forgiven the hospital where my cousin got brain damage, because they absolutely knew he was a big baby and pressured my Aunty to do it naturally. They are strongly suggesting that I should push for an elective c sec.

I think you're right it'll all hinge on the scan on 27th but I have this gut feeling that I should be pushing for a c sec. If only because if something happened to him I would never forgive myself for not speaking my mind. I don't want to seem distrustful of experts, I'm sure they know what they're talking about...but why risk it? If he is huge on the scan I will definitely express my concerns.

Definitely speak to the consultant and express your concerns, and ask questions but what stands out from your posts is your (presumably not medically trained) family pressurising you. I don't mean to sound dismissive at all of their experiences but I think you need to find out how much of it is genetic rather than circumstance. I have a baby who is growing at the 95th centile. My consultant didn't think a vaginal delivery would be an issue and said difficulties tend to come from position rather than size. And to be fair, I pushed for ages with my 5lb baby and she nearly got stuck so not all complications come from size.

@girlwiththearabstrap You are definitely right in that I am hearing horror stories from my family. My husband is a bit concerned that I am being too heavily influenced by them, and he wants to trust the experts at hospital. I agree with this, I don't want to shout down a professional. My family aren't medically trained but they mean well. The problem is once you know something it kind of sticks in your mind and I am a worrier! My husband is much calmer.

Everyone's posts have kind of made me realise that I will never know if my baby will get stuck until I am giving birth basically. If he is measuring huge on the scan on 27th I will give the consultant my family history so that they know the score and then I will trust their opinion. I think I just need a bit more than "you remain low risk go natural" id like some sort of plan in place so that I can feel reassured that they will intervene quick if there is sign of trouble. I suppose that's the difference between delivering on the Midwife Led birthing suite and the Labour Ward where there are consultants. Maybe it would make me feel better to know that there are some consultants nearby to intervene.

@girlwiththearabstrap that being said, if the consultant puts the ball in my court and said there is a risk and it's up to me what I want, I think I will suggest an elective c sec. Just to remove any risk.

I'd like to add my first two births were completely natural and uncomplicated. 7.6lb and 9.11lb, both girls. A csection never crossed my mind until after I had my third. Even when having my third I refused an emergency section when they were on the fence what to do when he got stuck. I TOLD them I'd get him out on the next push and so I did.

Anywho, after that my views on sections completely changed. Yes they are surgery. Yes there are people who see them as an unnecessary risk and should only be used as a last resort. But I would never try to birth any other way after what I went through. BUT that is based on my previous experiences and I didn't think that way to start.

I think what I am trying to say is don't let my story make you sway for a section. But, if you do choose to have an elective, don't let anyone make you feel like it's unnecessary or crazy and unfounded. How that baby comes out is irrelevant, and as long as he is safe and you're also happy and safe then that's all that matters! X

So my DS was measuring big all the way through, at 39 week scan they estimated that he was 8lb+ already. I was opposite to you however in that my mum had two big babies naturally so I really wasn’t fussed. He was born at 40+6 and was 9lb 6oz, I had a lovely waterbirth with gas and air for pain relief. Heavy babies aren’t necessarily harder to birth (although bigger heads I guess are) but I think you need to either mentally discount your family history and go in with a positive mindset - as fear can impact the release of the hormones you need to give birth or really push for either elcs or early induction - whichever you feel more comfortable with.

I was the same size as you with same measurements, and my child was eventually just under 10 pounds. It wasn't in the UK and my private ob suggested elcs at 39 weeks - he thought the risk of trauma to me or baby was too high. I listened to his advice.

It is definitely easy to be influenced and worry because of other people's stories. But anecdotes don't equal hard facts you know? My best friend had an elective section and ended up with septicaemia and post surgical pneumonia. Obviously that's awful but its mot a reason to blindly avoid c sections. Same as hearing a story of a baby getting stuck isn't an automatic reason to avoid a vaginal birth. Good luck with the scan and appointment, whatever you end up doing.

It sounds like youve got a sensible approach towards it, and listening to your consultant. And if your family are worrying you then I think it's ok to tell them you don't want to hear any more horror stories.

Everyone has a different sized pelvis and really that is the only factor that could stop you physically being able to give birth naturally. No two stories regarding this will ever be the same for that reason.
The only way to find out the answer for you personally is to labour and see unfortunately; sorry I know that wasn't really the answer that you were looking for.