choosing independent midwife - what to ask?

[fruitful]

I'm seeing an independent midwife tomorrow night for an initial "consultation" ie do we like her. It may well be Hobsons choice as I don't know of any others who are available and cover my area, but still. What questions should I ask? She's recommended by the Independent Midwives Association. I need an independent midwife as I want a home VBAC and I don't want to fight for it...

Are you willing to tell us who she is and where she's based?
There aren't many IMWs so perhaps some of us know her? (I had one from Surrey IMWs)

Based in Bedfordshire, here is their website.

anyone?

will try and get back to you before tomorrow pm - no time now.

I used an independant midwife for my home birth last year, and like you there was really only one who covered my area. however, she was wonderful, and I suspect that most of them are - the reason why they are independant midwives is because they believe in birth as a natural process which has been over medicalised, and because they believe that women should be in complete control of their births to the fullest extent possible. So they are all pretty special people I think. I would just have a really good talk through of what you are hoping for in the birth, ask her questions about what she thinks of various things - eg giving birth in water v. labouring in water and getting out for the birth; natural third stage v. syntometrine injections; going overdue v. induction. I think a good midwife would have information on all of these things but not a dogmatic view - and should say that at the end of the day she will give you information to make an informed choice and then support you whatever choice you make. I'd ask questions about previous births she has attended - ask her what reasons have there been for transfer to hospital once in labour; whether she has ever had a real emergency like a pph at home; how she dealt with that; and ask specific questions about previous vbac births she has done. But at the end of the day I think you go on gut instinct - do you like her? does she inspire confidence and trust? would you like to develop a relationship with her ante-natally and have her assisting your delivery?

good luck! It was the best £2000 I ever spent...

I've got no experience with independent midwives, only with obs, but I've always asked who the person would be delivering my child if they (one was a she, one was a he) were unavailable.

I think that having one person advising you throughout your pregnancy is worth the money. But if you're most concerned about the birth, remember to ask what backup she has, in case something happens.

fruitful, i haven't forgotten.

pph has given a wonderful, very comprehensive answer here.

the only things i would add are:

• make sure you ask about any specifics that bothered you from your last labour (e.g. were there any circumstances leading up to your section that you felt could/should have been handled differently - ask about how your mw would deal with these);

• make sure your mw explains to you the significance of the fact that mws cannot get professional indemnity insurance - if anything goes horribly wrong, you can only sue the mw as an individual for her personal wealth, there won't be a big insurance co there to make a big payout in the event of a tragedy;

• get her PIN no and date of birth to check her registration and intention to practice with the Nursing and Midwifery Council here are the details .

otherwise, i emphasise what pph was saying about focusing on whether you can build a relationship of trust and liking with her during the ante-natal period. This is what will do you the most good in labour, imho.

i also agree with pph, the best money i ever spent.

good point, jj. no good establishing a fantastic relationship if she isn't the one who will be there at the birth!

Yeah, I think who delivers the child is important, but I meant to say that the antenatal care (pre-birth) was worth the money.

It is important to know the backup though, esp, I think, to know if there is one? Are you going to be left to the NHS if she gets the flu?

Thanks everyone, this is helpful. I'm praying that I like her, don't know what we're going to do if not!

Jen1 Hi Folks I posted a msg mid July for advice on a private mw but only got 2 replies. Anyone know how to find out more initial info. 1st timer so having bb in hospital but would like my own mw throughout birth so their is someone for trust and also to listen to my requests? Thanks folks

Jennifer -

to find a midwife

or maybe you need a doula

An independent midwife may not be allowed to practice in a hospital? Depends on hospital I suppose.

I met her, ooh I think I like her. That would be such a relief to have someone I could trust!

Talking to her has stirred up a whole load of murky cross upset stuff from dd's birth though...

fwiw, fruitful, i think that's normal. presumably you want a different experience this time which is why you are going for an independent mw? i did the same and it was definitely worth it in my case - laid a lot of ghosts.

I'm a bit late to this conversation but I used an independent MW for a VBAC homebirth (now have DD2 aged 5 weeks) - and had a fantastic experience (no pain relief) which was completely different to DD1. When I met mine I felt that I had hit the Rolls Royce version of midwives ! I also had a friend who helped with my birth plan and made me really discuss my "fears" with MW at length which was hugely helpful - as you say somehow you need to face those ghosts. Also try here for really useful VBAC stuff (eg positive birth stories) and the AIMS VBAC booklet for other support (available from AIMS publications) - I found the birth stories inspiring...

I agree completely with sq - stirring up the murky stuff is good, because you can deal with it and move on, but also because it will crystallise for you what you want to be different for this one. Sounds like she is good if she has asked all those questions and brought those things to the surface! So glad you liked her, I'm sure this birth will be much better than your last!