Baby #3 with my new partner and afraid....... and so much more

[Rockermommyx2]

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would write a sentence like that. Baby #3! NEW partner! And worse of all...afraid?! But that is where I am right now.

My husband and I separated almost a year ago. We share 2 beautiful boys and currently both in new relationships. So far believe it or not it hasnt been to hetic other then a few bumps here and there.

Well I just found out last week I was pregnant and my semi calming down life if now in a uproar. I havent told anyone but my mother and sister who are both happy. My partner is extremely happy but me...nothing but fear, worry, and sadness.

I am scared of taking away from my otbrr 2 kids and what it would be like to have separate fathers. Like when the other 2 are going to their dads and the youngest stays behind. i dont want anyone to feel like they are a problem. the older ones for leaving and the youngest for not being able to go. I have spoke to my partner and he is like dont worry it will not be all rhe rime. the rest ofnthe time tjey will be together and love each other. You would think that was enough but I am questioning everything. To how i will be seen having to fathers, taking away from my kids, and biggest of all medical.

I was placed on weight loss meds from my doctor and told that they can cause birth defects so to not get pregnant. I said no problem because i wasnt any time soon. Well jokes on me and now i am stressed about that on top of everything else including what my kids father will say.

I have thought about abortion because I said to myself so much doubt and things against me i have to like of all my opitions. Now I feel like a monster even thinking it but all i have done since finding out is panic and cry. I feel so bad because i feel like i am taking away from my partners happiness.

I am so lost that I turned here. praying someone can understand and talk to me before i drive myself completely crazy.

thank you for reading

Well firstly I would see your gp and discuss with them the weight loss tablets. Then you can think about what to do after that.
All of the other worries are about the future and how your children will be growing up etc. Deal with what you need to deal with now and try not to think about the future too much. I know it’s difficult. One step at a time

I have an appt in a few weeks. They said they wait until 6 weeks or so. So i think I am just driving myself crazy until then.

So, I feel very much the same.

I left my husband after 15 years, 2 kids (12 & 6) and then met a new guy. Within a year we have moved in and have a wonderful life with us all and his daughter 5. And then he wanted #3......I agreed, but now.......

I'm 17 weeks and a total wreck of emotions. My life was just getting back to normal, I was working full time again, enjoying my free time with my new partner every other weekend and now I'm filled with dread and worry about what life will be like now! I've barely told anyone for fear of their opinions.
I also feel bad. My partner is so excited and I'm trying but I just don't scare the excitement.....I want to but it's hard. Guess no option but to now get on with it which I am and I'm hopeful it will all just fall into place....

Can't offer much other than to say your not alone....xx

Thank you so much so replying. We are so in the same boat that it is scary. It does help to know i am not alone even if we dont have the answers.

I also separated from my husband this time last year after 18 yrs together and have two chukdren 15 and 10. We are still living together as he wouldn't move out till the house is sold and he has his money. Well house is now sold so should be going our separate ways in June. I have been with my partner since September and I am 17 wks pregnant with his first child. We live just under 200 miles apart. My life isn't perfect and I have hard day's and have been suffering with anxiety. But I am looking forward to my future and where it's heading.

I would try and get an appointment with your GP earlier to really understand the risks of the medicines you have been taking. The wait until 6 weeks rule is probably for general pregnancies and you should probably discuss the possibility of birth defects ASAP.

Ok, good idea. I will call them again

Def a hard situation but shows that woman are strong. How do you handle your aniexty? I think thr depression i feel i am falling into and the aniexty is the worse part.

I’d be getting in with your GP ASAP. Likelihood is he will refer you to a consultant as they will have a better knowledge of how the medication you have been taking will effect the baby. My GP had me on some antibiotics before we realised I was pregnant as soon as I got the positive I went back to see him. He explained that all the information he had is that they were not advised to be given to pregnant women and referred me on explaining it could be anything from - all is fine or we need to monitor you or we must abort. Needless to say it was a nervous wait but for us all was fine and the consultant just advised that they were not advised but are believed to be worse in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters. That combined with an ongoing issue just means they’ve kept a closer eye on baby 👶🏻