Aibu

11 replies

Welshchloe · 21/03/2018 10:38

I was sorting out stuff in the house to get ready for baby (only 7 weeks pregant) last weekend and said that I wanted to move one of his daughters to a slightly smaller room and put the baby in the second biggest room and he kept on saying no. The room I want to put one of his daughters is defiantly not a box room. I just feel like he is being unfair

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Girlwiththearabstrap · 21/03/2018 10:42

It is very very early to be talking about swapping rooms and planning a nursery as baby will probably be in the same room as you for 6 months anyway.
Does his daughter live with you full time? How old is she? And why do you want to move her room? A new sibling can be unsettling without making her feel like she's literally being pushed out, and babies don't need big play areas etc so I can definitely see his point.

Speedy85 · 21/03/2018 10:49

Going by the very limited info in your post, YABU

A) It’s very early. Do you want to make them move now?
B) The recommendation is for babies to sleep in the same room as their parents for the first year. If you’re doing that then you don’t really need a big room for the baby’s things.
C) Babies don’t need that much space anyway. Are there reasons other than space why you want the baby to have that room?
D) This seems like a very quick way to make your partner’s daughter resent the baby.
E) Would you be saying the same thing if your partner’s daughter was your daughter too?

zaalitje · 21/03/2018 10:50

YABVU

Babies don't need to take up much room.

And at 7 weeks pregnant it will be well over a year before baby needs a room.

You realise that by moving his daughter to a smaller room your sending the message that she is worth less/ lower priority than the baby, especially as baby won't be sleeping there for quite a while. It's a time his daughters are likely feeling very vulnerable too, please bare their feelings in mind.

Ninjamilo · 21/03/2018 10:53

Sounds pretty cruel towards his daughter to be honest. Why does baby need a bigger room?

We've just moved in to a 4 bed house (no other kids) and baby is having the smallest room - they don't need a lot of space. As others have said, they'll also be in with you for a long time yet.

Steeley113 · 21/03/2018 10:55

You’re 7 weeks, chill out. Baby will be in with you, plus they don’t play or even really use their room until much older. Honestly, it’s not worth rocking the bot or making his poor DD feel pushed out already!

userabcname · 21/03/2018 11:07

I spent ages making DS's room all lovely when I was pregnant. He's 9 months now and still in with us! I wouldn't even think about it yet - it's ages until your baby will need his or her own room. Incidentally, why do you feel your step daughter should have the smaller room? Unless there's a very good, practical reason (such as she only stays over a couple of nights a month or something), it seems rather unfair to her.

Namechangemum100 · 21/03/2018 11:09

What's the reason behind wanting baby in that room?

AthenasOwl · 21/03/2018 11:09

Seems rather unfair considering you're only 7 weeks. It'll be about 2 years from now before your baby will need a room and even then it won't need a lot of room.
Does his daughter live with you?

MyKingdomForBrie · 21/03/2018 11:11

I don’t think he’s being unreasonable. If dc was yours you wouldn’t want her to feel hurt like that. Baby won’t care and she will. As pp have said baby will be another 7-8 months in coming then will be 6 months in with you. Just set up the little room for baby if you really feel you must do it this early, you can make it super nice.

Juststrugglingabit · 21/03/2018 11:21

If this is about the fact that the daughter is a step DC, I would really try to work out how you feel about those children and how that might impact upon their lives before the new baby comes along. I mean this respectfully, but do you understand that your step daughter will understand this as a message that she is less important and be hurt?

We're in the process of making our expected baby's nursery beautiful even though we know she probably won't use it for at least 9 months yet. We're using what probably is box room because we know we are mainly doing it for us and it has not changed a thing. We do have a much bigger room and no other DCs, which we are saving for the baby when she is bigger (hoped for baby no2 can then have the nursery) and as a guest room for now. We certainly would not move another child out of there.

So yes, I do think YABU to move one of the other children to a smaller room for the baby who will not need or understand having the space.

LiveLoveLaugh87 · 22/03/2018 10:44

Personally I think 7 weeks is far too early to start swapping rooms etc around and disrupting any children in your household. The way I see it is if you chose to have another baby that baby should fit in around your family, not force children you already have to one side which is what this sounds like you are wanting to do! Why make a big deal out of this so early on? Baby will be sharing with you for at least 6 months to a year anyway and will only need a small room when it does come to them having their own space. If this is how you plan on treating your stepdaughter pushing her to one side and prioritising your baby over everything then I’m sorry but that’s just wrong and it won’t end happily!

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