My partner and I have been together for three years, (he's 33 and I'm 25), and for the most part we’re a happy, well-connected unit. We’re best friends, supportive of one another’s ambitions, etc, etc, etc. Our pregnancy was unplanned, but initially well received, and I for one can’t wait to meet our little Babybear. Things lately however have changed.
I’m currently 34 weeks pregnant, and my partner has suddenly become very noncommittal over the last two months. If I put his hand on my bump to feel a kick, he’ll squirm away. If we see cute baby clothes when out and about, he’ll roll his eyes. If I ask him if he’s excited, he won’t even answer. He’s even stopped coming to antenatal classes and helping me. Last week we attempted to put little man’s cot together, which he struggled with. This launched him into saying comments like “F**k this. We’ll just have him adopted”, and for two hours after he stormed off and refused to talk to me. I sat there crying hysterically and he just ignored me. I put the cot together by myself in the end.
He was due to move into my house last month, but changed his mind last minute and said that he wanted to stay where he was, alone. I took this with a pinch of salt, not wanting to cause an argument. Financially this made things more difficult for me, so I'm having to move somewhere a bit further away which I'll be able to afford alone. I’m trying to be easy-going with him and understanding, (he's prone to depression), but my patience is dwindling.
He’s also started bad-mouthing me to his friends and family, stating that this living situation is my idea and that I’ve screwed him over because of the location I've chosen to move. Not only this, but he’s been commenting on my weight to others, calling me morbidly obese and lazy. He'll also scan through his Instagram feed in front of me, liking photos of stick-thin models when he knows that I'm struggling a bit with my current body image.
I. don’t. Understand.
He wasn't like this initially. He used to enjoy shopping for baby items, envisaging the future, and feeling the kicks. I don’t know if he’s scared or nervous, or whether he genuinely wants out of this situation. If I bring up the subject it causes an argument. If I tell him he’s upsetting me, he says “It’s not all about you.” If I recommend a trip to the doctors, he tells me to mind my own business. I’m exhausted with this.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this? I’m trying not to let it upset me or affect the baby in any way, but it’s getting more and more difficult.