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Original poster

Is this my last chance for pregnancy

19 replies

Rooroo1012 · 19/03/2018 21:08

I’m 9 weeks pregnant and have been struggling with the decision to keep it for various reasons.

I’m 30 this year and afraid that if I decided to terminate now that I may not have enough time to fall pregnant again in the future, once things in my life have settled down. I really want to have a second child but whether now is the right time, I’m not sure.

Would you say at almost 30 years old, that its now or never for me to have my second child?

I don’t want to miss my window to expand my family based on a few issues I’m currently going through. Thanks

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DarthArts · 19/03/2018 21:26

I honestly don't know if it's possible to answer your question.

Many women have successful pregnancies in their 40's but statistically the chances of doing so definitely reduce with age.

It's impossible to tell how you would fair if you wanted to conceive 2/3/4/5 years down the line.

Equally I don't know your personal circumstances and if you feel they are conducive to having a child now and or in the future.

All I can suggest is that you base any decision on your circumstances as they are now and ultimately on your ability to successfully care for another child.

kirinm · 19/03/2018 22:55

I had multiple losses in my early and mid 30s so much so that I stopped trying. I braved trying again late last year and am now 16w pregnant. 30 is still incredibly young and the reality is that yes fertility can decrease as you get older but it doesn't disappear. I won't advise you on the decision you are making but just wanted to say that you have so much time left so you shouldn't worry about that too much.

PerfectlyDone · 19/03/2018 22:56

Only you can decide whether it's the right time for you Thanks

I was 37 when I had DS1 and lost 44 when DS4 arrived... just sayin' Grin

kirinm · 19/03/2018 22:58

Oh I meant to add, I was 40 a week ago.

cockupparent · 19/03/2018 23:04

It's not necessarily now or never... but your almost a quarter of a way through. Can you live with it if it is never and you make that decision?

My personal feeling would be that I couldn't but it's very personal and nobody's got that crystal ball for you.

BikeRunSki · 19/03/2018 23:06

I don’t know your other issues or circumstances, but 30 is still young for having children.

applesandpears56 · 19/03/2018 23:08

There’s never a right time to have a baby, or right circumstances. This baby is here now inside you - let it be. Any later baby wouldn’t be THIS baby.

KittyKK · 20/03/2018 08:59

30 is still very young!!

Liz3891 · 23/03/2018 12:26

I'm in a similar scenario OP. Less far along than you, but older (35). I'm also worried about terminating and then not being able to get pregnant later once I'm in a more stable relationship.

Markygirl1995 · 23/03/2018 12:44

Why did you fall pregnant in the first place then?

TheVanguardSix · 23/03/2018 12:50

Of course you still have an enormous window! From 38 onward, it can (can NOT will) get trickier. For example, I had DC2 at 38 (on my birthday!) having been divorced for many years (I had DC1 at 29 and didn't get pregnant again until my next relationship with DH, which gave us DD, as mentioned above, at 38). But from 38 to 42, I lost 3 babies, one at 26 weeks, then went on to deliver DC3 at the age of 42. He is nearly 4 now.

Life is filled with risk. Making babies isn't always smooth sailing and there is just no way of predicting how our paths turn out in this regard.

But know this: You do have time on your side. You really, really do.

Isadora2007 · 23/03/2018 12:55

I wouldn’t say it’s now or never, no. But at 9 weeks I can’t help but think you dont really have time for existential angst really and you should be making a decision really very soon, and should have really made it by now.
If you’re waiting for an ideal time to have a second child it may never come. If this can be a good enough time then maybe that’s all you need.

isthismummy · 23/03/2018 15:39

Always one tosser Markygirl

Markygirl1995 · 23/03/2018 19:10

🙋‍♀️ @isthismummy

Original poster
Rooroo1012 · 24/03/2018 07:06

Thanks everyone. I honestly thought I couldn’t fall pregnant again as me and my partner tried for years. We gave up thinking we could do it naturally which is why we continued unprotected. It’s been a shock to us both, our relationship isn’t the most stable at the moment. I’ve went to the clinic yesterday to check my options and find out how far along I am. 8 weeks 3 days.
We’re going to keep it. It’s been a tough few weeks but your comments have really helped give me some insight.

OP posts:
PerfectlyDone · 24/03/2018 07:09

Congratulations!

Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy Thanks

applesandpears56 · 24/03/2018 08:49

Congratulations! You’ve got 7 months now to prepare and try and make things a bit more stable before they arrive. You never regret the children you have. Hope all goes well Flowers

LeighaJ · 24/03/2018 10:45

I would look more to your family and when their fertility started to drop. In my family for example many women have had children into early to mid 40's.

I will be 38 a few months after I have our first baby next month.

applesandpears56 · 24/03/2018 11:41

Yes you are meant to take the age your mum went through menopause and minus 10 years for the age you’ll stop being properly fertile /enter peri menopause

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