30 weeks, struggling and feeling guilty

[SaltK]

I'm 30+3 and over the last couple of weeks have started to find things really hard. I feel like a complete lightweight, because I haven't had anything horrendous; morning sickness at first, a bit of occasional fainting, carpal tunnel, (endless!) heartburn, constipation, general pelvic discomfort, some reduced movements and extra scans due to low lying anterior placenta - nothing major.

But the fatigue and just generally feeling unwell has been quite relentless, and I've got insomnia too. I'm starting to struggle, at work in particular, and I feel so pathetic when I read about women working up to 39, weeks then having the baby the week after! I feel especially bad because this is a much longed for pregnancy after recurrent miscarriage and I don't want to complain or feel bad about it at all. Feel like I need to just pull myself together, and could use some wisdom from others who've been through and are out the other side!

Don't feel guilty everyone one of us goes through it where we feel rubbish and worn out. You have had a lot to deal with. And anyone who tells you that its not ok to feel rubbish tiered or fed up is wrong doesn't matter how many weeks you are. I am 40+2 and I remember feeling done with it all at 25 weeks cause I was worn out and had heartburn. U are allowed to feel like you cant cope or are struggling its naturally. That's why places like this are around u can talk to other women who feel the same and nobody will judge u. But talk to ur partner and family aswell don't suffer alone. But believe me it is totally normal to feel how u do. Don't feel guilty at all. Anyone who says being pregnant is all happy and smooth sailing is lying. Ur hormones are everywhere u can go from oh I cant wait to ok I am so done with all of this in a matter of minutes. I cried this morning because I couldn't find my 5 year olds sock.

First of all no two pregnancies are the same. I'm on my third and they've all had their own challenges. The women who work up to 39 weeks are incredibly lucky. I managed up to 38 weeks with my first but had no symptoms although I did have pgp. Second pregnancy I managed up to 28 weeks, had awful nausea and pgp that was so bad I stopped being able to walk. This time round at 10 weeks I'm on the sofa vomiting my guts up. I'm beyond exhausted. My pgp is taking over and I'm wondering how on earth I'm going to cope with going to work tomorrow, let alone until 28 weeks when I finish work.

You are doing a remarkable job and the fact that this is a much wanted baby doesn't mean you're not allowed to complain! You didn't bring this on yourself. These are side effects of the person growing inside of you. Your body is going through unbelievable changes. Complain. Complain when you're on your own or when you're with your DH. If you're struggling at work tell them. I say that as someone who was royally screwed over at work when I started struggling. Tell them and make sure they support you.

Take it easy. Rest when you can and remember you are doing something incredible. Pregnancy might not be an illness but it does effect some people like illness. You might not be suffering that much but it's bad for you and it doesn't matter if Joan at work has it worse than you or if the woman in front of you in the supermarket is struggling. You need to look after you.

I’m starting to feel it now. I’m really struggling and overdid it on Friday at work to keep clients happy and really regret it.
Stupidly, i thought I was going to breeze the whole way through. I can’t change when I leave work as I’ve already got work booked in and will eat into my 12 weeks leave after baby is here. I’m also anxious about loosing business during those 12 weeks.
I’m paranoid about stillbirth.
Aches and pains worry me and are becoming more regular.
Roll on the next 10 weeks. I want to be making the most of this time but can’t enjoy it.

Every woman and every pregnancy is different. With DC1 I worked up until 39+5 and apart from some mild nausea and fatigue in the first trimester, had a really easy pregnancy. I enjoyed (almost) every minute and would have happily stayed pregnant for much longer than 9 months.

This time around I am struggling with pelvic pain, constipation, leg cramps, back pain, constant nausea, heartburn etc and I'm only 27 weeks. I feel heavy and sore all over and have zero energy. I wish I could fast forward to 40 weeks.

I know it's a cliché, but listen to your body. If you need to rest, then rest. You don't get any medals for pushing yourself.

You're not a bad person for feeling this way so please don't feel guilty. Its completely normal to find it difficult because sometimes it IS difficult!
I've experienced miscarriage and infertility too, but I've learnt that having a moan or a cry does not make me any less appreciative. I'm so so grateful to be pregnant but I'm exhausted, my legs hurt, my back hurts and I have piles ....none of which are fun.

Sometimes I've felt like a lightweight too ...especially when my mother in law goes on about how easy she found her 4 pregnancies (and births!) but then I remember that listening to my own body is the most important thing, so it really doesn't matter what any one else thinks. I finished work at 32 weeks because thats what felt right for me and I have no regrets.

Just know that you're doing great and it will all be worth it in the end.

Thank you everyone, for your kind and encouraging comments, and especially for the reassurance that it's okay not to love every minute of it. I wrote that post this morning when I'd not long been in work and wasn't sure I was going to make the full day, but dipping in and reading those messages really helped. It makes a massive difference to hear how everyone else has been through their own type of struggles in pregnancy. I know it's okay, logically, but sometimes emotions cloud your judgement, don't they?

I'm sorry you're all having your own awful time of it, but thanks for sharing! It's amazing what a bit of female support can do! And I think on reflection, I have been keeping all in, really, because I don't want anyone, even DH, to think I'm not grateful to have this beautiful healthy baby. But you're all right in that it can be wonderful and awful at the same time!

I hear yah - i previously cared what others thought and have booked to go off from 39 weeks. I'm 34 weeks now and I'm done. I couldn't give a flying f**k what anyone thinks now. Unfortunately can't change date.

I breezed through last two pregnancies but I forgot I was younger, job at time wasn't stressful, had easy commute with flexible working and a nice boss. Now I have a shit commute on a packed train, shit long drive to the train, shit long hours with demanding clients and a boss who couldn't give a shit.

As you can tell I'm in a delightful mood

Fia I'm sorry you're having such a shitty time of it, but I have to admit your post cracked me up a bit 😂 I admire the couldn't give a flying f**k attitude, I'm only sorry you can't go off work now - the commute alone sounds like a nightmare!