Desperate

[taylz12]

Hi,

I feel a bit silly here, but I feel like I am absolutely desperate for a baby.
I lost somebody very close to me a few years ago and I feel since that I've been more and more desperate to become a mum and to feel the unconditional love again. I've always been maternal and motherly and I really really would like one of my own. My partner is not keen on the idea of having children really and certainly not yet. I've been with him for 6 years now but he's just not ready. This gets me down a lot.

What do I do? I'm feeling like I'm going insane. I feel so pathetic and desperate.

Help :(

I think that it's completely natural to feel that maternal instinct, especially when you feel like you have lost a loved one. You want to give love! That makes sense. Do you think tht you're partner will change his mind over time?

I was completely the opposite to you, but my partner was the one who always wanted children. I can say that since becoming pregnant and having my baby, I wonder how I ever felt that having children wasn't for me! People's opinions change over time, maybe he just needs to see your bigger picture?

I can completely understand why such an experience may bring out these feelings in you - I guess things like that make you think about what's really important to you and what you'd want in the near future.

But I think some context is important for your post and for you to make this decision: for example, how old are you and your partner? Would you be ready financially, practically etc for a baby? These are important considerations. Your life will change forever when you have a baby and, if you can be (I know it doesn't always work out this way), it is good to be as prepared as possible. Perhaps your partner doesn't feel ready from a practical perspective? Might that be it? By way of example, myself and my partner had been together for even longer before we tried for a baby - it was important to DH to get "ducks in a row" before we did it if possible (things like having a proper home sorted, stable jobs etc) so we were ready to take care of a tiny human. It felt like a long wait but I'm now pregnant with our first and, honestly, it feels worth it for so many reasons (even though I've been broody as anything for years !)

Either way, a thorough and honest discussion with your partner is necessary here. See where you're both at and find out if he actually wants children in the future or just ever. Be truthful with him and let him be truthful with you. Both being on the same page, especially when you've been together so long, is really important. Find out properly where you stand by talking to him and take it from there.