Constant worrying

[lookingforaline18]

The anxiety I'm feeling regarding this pregnancy is through the roof I'm just going from one worry to the next.
When I first found out I am pregnant I was worried it would be a blighted ovum or there would be a baby with no heartbeat. Then I had an early scan and was worried the baby's heartbeat would stop before my 12 week scan. Now that I've had my 12 week scan I'm l still worried about miscarrying and extremely worried about my 20 week scan and they find a major problem with the baby. I'm also petrified of the baby being stillborn.

I have children already and with all of them I never had any worries. I was excited more than anything and problems didn't really cross my mind. I just got on with it. But one pregnancy loss last year made me realise just how much goes on during pregnancy and what can go wrong. How vulnerable unborn babies are etc...
I just can't bear the thought of losing this one as well.

Worrying is horrid. I’ve been exactly the same through my pregnancy. However, i’ve had periods of anxiety and then periods where I’ve been more relaxed and have been able to enjoy it. It can be periods of hours, days or weeks but it does usually seem to become heightened leading up to important milestones - scans, dates etc. I’m 36 weeks now and am beginning to feel anxious again as we approach the birth, just worried about not being able to bring my baby home. Are you finding your anxiety is all the time or do you get times when you feel better?

You should talk to your midwife though. She needs to know how you’re feeling and could maybe refer you somewhere? I saw a pregnancy loss counsellor at the beginning of my pregnancy (up until about 19 weeks) and it was such a huge help, just having somewhere to where I could voice my fears and gather some strategies for dealing with anxiety. It was a charity in my area and I found it myself through google. I paid a weekly voluntary contribution for it.

I’m exactly the same! To the point that I’m 15 weeks and have still not told anyone as I’m worried something will go wrong and I’ll have to tell people I’ve lost it.
It is hard, I’m trying to take each day as it come and each milestone as the next goal e.g the next thing for me is 16 week appointment.
I feel guilty / stupid for feeling this way but I think speaking to a midwife is a good idea! That’s my plan next time I see her. She maybe able to help :) I’m sure everything will be fine tho. The stats after the 12 week scan are massively in our favour!

I felt exactly the same when pregnant with DR, who's now 2. I'd had 2 early miscarriages before. Initially it was another MC I was scared of, then wondering why I didn't have a bump thinking she wasn't growing, then what if something is wrong at the 20 week scan, then early labour etc etc. It was torture and I hated my pregnancy - I really feel for you.

Please try and get help now if you can as unfortunately for me it didn't end when she was born and I ended up with PND

DD that was meant to say!

I feel the same! I am only 4 weeks though, its my first pregnancy, and I have only known for a week but it has been the longest week of my life. I am so terrified I am going to lose it. I am peeing on sticks still to make sure it's still there. I have no idea how I am going to stay calm for the next 8 months. I am from a big Irish family and have seen to many problems during pregnancy, and then here on these boards, that I am so aware now of everything that could happen. I am so freaked I keep telling myself I wont even get to the 12th week. But I have no actual reason to think it will go wrong. The only thing that keeps me going is the same thing that kept me going through 8 months of TTC; what will be will be. I have no control over anything. I can just hope and cross my fingers and I am thankful for every day it is still there. I have to say though, I never realised how stressful this would be. I feel your pain.

I wish I could help but the pregnancy loss counselling sounds like the best idea.

I have really bad anxious periods and there seems to be something different everyday. I’m holding myself back from putting a post on asking something now! I’m so scared of these dangerous infections and all sorts, at the moment going through the worry of something going wrong at birth I want to just enjoy it.

The only thing that makes me feel better is when I feel her kick it’s like her telling me she’s ok.

Another thing I found helpful was texting myself. Sound such a weird thing I know! But I’m usually a really rational person so I imagine what i would say to someone talking to me about these worries and try and put some rational perspective on the thoughts.

I’m so sorry to hear you are having a bad time. I had an ectopic a year or so ago and I know If I ever got pregnant again I would be terrified (but happy too 😊). Could you try counciling to talk through your concerns? Xxxx

Swmbo is going through this.

It's her 6th child, and my first.

Her last pregnancy ended with a very difficult still birth which has put her on edge.

We are just coming up to 28 weeks so thankfully over soon!

Hi everyone. Thank you for all your replies. I'm sorry to hear I'm not the only one
My anxiety seems to be constant and I can't get the worries out of my head. It gets even worse when I'm in places like the doctor's surgery or hospital. Even school where there are lots of mums with prams. And the supermarket. Anything that reminds me of babies really. Because it reminds me of what I've lost and what I can't bear the thought of losing again.
I think counselling will really help. I am going to look in to it. And I will definitely speak to my midwife about it. I don't see her for another 3 weeks though.
Once I feel my baby moving I know that will give me comfort. The 20 week scan will also be a huge milestone. I just want it to all be ok.

I’m sorry you’re going through this and I second the advice to seek some counselling. It’s horrible and I know how consuming the fear can be.

I’m off to my first cognitive behavioural therapy tomorrow after making a self-referral to my local psychological wellbeing service with severe anxiety after previous losses. Is that maybe an option for you? I think many local nhs trusts have a self-referral facility. I just completed a form online.

When I had my telephone triage, the mental health nurse said that sadly, sometimes anxiety in pregnancy can result in post natal depression, so they’ll provide me with treatment now and will also check in with me after my baby is here. When I heard that, it was the kick I needed to try everything to get better before my due date.

Good luck with everything and i hope you manage to find a solution. You’ll get through it. 👍