Found out I'm pg and I'm sad.

[Merida1982]

I've been with my OH for quite a while now and we'd agree that we'd start trying. Because of my age, I thought it would take me forever to get pg. All my friends who have got pg have told me it's taken them months and I fall pg after two months.

I want to feel happy but I don't. I feel scared, sad, and a little bit angry. My OH on the other hand is so excited and thrilled. It's absolutely wonderful to see how excited he is but all I can think of is how much my body is going to change and all the things I'm going to have to stop doing. To make matters worse, my sister is extremely jealous of me as she is desperate to have children. So whilst she's happy for me, she's really struggling with it so I'm also feelig guilty (please no negativity towards her, she's doing the best she can, it's just tough for her).

Do others feel like this? I feel like i'm surrounded by friends who are just so thrilled to be pg and I'm this oddity, which isn't helping me with feeling sad and isolated.

I think when it happens so quickly it can be a bit overwhelming at times. My 2nd took 9months to conceive so we decided just before Christmas we would try for another thinking it would be mid next year at the earliest but hit the jackpot on the first go. It took me 3 days to tell my dh and haven't told anyone else yet. I'll be 12 weeks this week and I'm only starting to get excited now. So you aren't alone. I do feel bad feeling like this it's just taken me by surprise is all. The baby is very much wanted.

My sister is also ttc and I don't know how to break the news to her. Its still relatively early days as in under the 1 year mark but probably over the 6 months and a part of me feels guilty for that too but I know she will be delighted for us i just wish it would hurry on and happen for her too.

I'm sure you'll soon get used to the idea.
My friend has just failed her 2nd round of IVF and I have got pregnant the first month trying. I have to admit I fully expected to get pregnant the first month of trying because we're told from being kids to use contraception or our lives will be ruined with a baby so the minute I wanted one I expected I'd be able to. It's a shame it doesn't work like that for everyone.
I haven't told my friend yet. I feel bad really bad for her. If this round of IVF had worked we'd be having babies around the same time. She's been trying for 5 years as well.

I have really mixed feelings about being pregnant, and am weirdly angry about it, even though we were teying for months and I cried my eyes out every month that it didn't work. A coleague of mine had IVF and said that even she took a while to be happy about it. At the moment I guess I'm feeling a bit rubbish and feel like my body has been taken hostage and that life will never be the same. I think that's probably a common feeling but I'm sure it gets better :) whenever I see a cute toddler I get a flicker of excitement so hopefully you'll be happier about it too!

It's ok to feel like that, it's a lot to take in. You have plenty of time to get used to the idea, but please do let your GP or midwife know if you're struggling mentally, they can refer you for ante natal counselling which really helped me.
Congratulations

It’s normal, I think!
Me and DH conceived DD on the first try, we were both shocked and upset, and had a month long adjustment.
This is for a desperatley wanted baby!
I think when you find out your life is going to change beyond recognition, you go through a mourning phase.

It's so lovely to hear I'm not on my own, feeling this way. It's just so tough isn't it. I'm so worried about telling my friends who have kids. I'm so worried that they're going to be really over the top and I feel overwhelmed enough already!

I could have written your post.

Agreed to start TTC Feb 2017 as per the life plan my husband and I had discussed! Told him not to get his hopes up, could take a couple of years, as I was older (34). Was pregnant the next month, and I was devastated. I felt robbed. In my head, it was going to take at least two years. (Not sure why? Prob wishful thinking.) my husband was overjoyed. I felt sick, because as soon as I knew I was pregnant, I no longer knew if I even wanted to have children. Ever.

Several of my dear friends would love children but are struggling to conceive for various health reasons. Could never tell them how I felt - talk about ungrateful.

My little boy is three months old now. I'm not going to gush and say "OMG it was so totally worth it." Because I genuinely still don't know if it was (especially as I hated being pregnant and had an awful labour and birth.) But I do genuinely love him, and I'm trying to be the best mum I can. I've told my partner I don't want another one.

If I could go back in time and never be pregnant, I might. But I would never wish my son away now, after having known and loved him. I think the three of us will be a happy family.

Yes, completely with you! I was so shocked when I fell pregnant even though we'd been trying for 4 months. I cried and was super scared! I'm now 35 weeks and can't wait to meet my little one I'll be honest and say I'm still scared, mainly about will he like me and will i be a good mum but those initial feelings of fear have gone! Good luck OP, you'll be absolute fine!!

I was told I would have trouble conceiving so I chucked the pills - I did not have another period till Baby 1 had stopped breast-feeding. It was a huge shock and we had to abandon plans for a house we were about to buy. But when the shock passed we were pleased and went on to have two more.

I know it's a shock, but it will pass.

It is difficult actually.

I'm pregnant with very much wanted number two who took longer than was planned and sometimes feel very 'regretful'.

Life has just started getting back to the new relaxed normal as ds is 5 and at school. The impact on my life and health was huge. Not much seemed to change in reality for Dh. My social life was far more restricted than his, my career more impacted, my muscles sorer! And to head into it all again - I have mixed feelings.

My body was only affected in terms of my joints and some issues with two other chronic diseases I have, but they resulted in extreme fatigue, which did t happen to Dh.

He is aware of how things impacted me but I still feel worried.

I think you don't care about your bodily changes once you start feeling baby. I remember with my son panicking over extra weight gain. Now I know how quickly I lost it through bf (to the point I was underweight) I'm deliberately putting it on!

The only think that was really hard was that I lost a sense of who I was. I could no longer listen to radio 4 without missing half of it to crying baby (now have blue tooth and listen again!) and I struggled to remember the cultural knowledge I had and awareness of things going on in society. Try to find ways to maintain that while you get your new identity of being a mum.

I'm so worried about losing my identity! I have worked so hard to be me and I hate the fact that people are going to stop calling me by my name and instead call me 'mum'. I know they're just trying to be nice but I feel that's only part of my identity. I hate that people will focus on this single aspect of me. Then i feel really guilty about thinking this ☹

I agree, I think it is a normal feeling. I think when it takes a while to get pregnant it can become about getting pregnant and not about having a baby at all! So when when it actually happens there is a WTF have we done feeling

@Merdia1982 I think it is up to you how much you lose your identity. I have friends who have completely lost theirs to being mum's but I don't think I have. I have 2.5 year old and work part time and in a fairly senior role and I think this is important. I go away for weekends and nights out with my friends and I do not want to spend my nights out talking about babies/ children, mine or theirs . My point is you can make a choice, I love my DD but I am me as wells as a mum

My ds was a 'happy accident' and I was bereft when I found out I was pregnant.

It honestly felt like a death sentence to life I had planned. I wasn't even overly young, 23 and with qualifications.

I knew I couldn't terminate, but it took a while to get my head around.

Even while I was pregnant I wasn't sure I was doing the right thing (and may have occasionally bawled my eyes out saying 'i don't want a baby' but that was just hormones)

Five years later ds is the best thing ever and while I don't do all of the things I did before I had him, I find it's not because I can't, but because I don't really want to.

My pregnancy was totally unplanned (contraceptive failure), so I completely understand how you feel. When I first found out I was NOT happy. I felt scared, annoyed, terrified..... it's totally normal and understandable.

Now I'm eight weeks gone and, whilst still terrified, I am allowing myself to feel excited now!

Good luck