MIL wants to come to scan...

[Eggoispreggo]

We're thinking of booking a 4D scan, just because it's going to seem like an awfully long time between our 20 week scan and meeting baby for the first time!
I'm 28 weeks at the moment and currently low risk so I don't think we'll have any more routine scans.
Mentioned this whilst with PIL and they asked if they could come with. I was very noncommittal at the time of asking.
My gut reaction is NO! But I'm not sure why? We get on really well, they're completely lovely, but it seems like quite a personal/private thing. Plus they have to scan quite low down so I don't fancy practically getting my pubes out in front of MIL.
What would everyone else do?
Let them come?
Is there a nice way to say no?

No I wouldn’t. But that’s because my relationship with PIL is not that close and my FIL has no filter and would mention my pants being low.

Compromise with a promise that you will call and let them be the first you will share the scan it with.

I wouldn't let them come. I had 2 4d scans and got a video of each one. You could show them that afterwards and make it a surprise.

Say that you can’t have that many people in the examination room ‘but we could meet you for a coffee straight after’. Then just meet them at Costa or whatever.

I knew someone who does the scans, they hated having the whole family troop in, made life really difficult for them, could use that as an excuse?

God no.

You get a video. Show them that

A polite, “ I hope you won’t be offended but I’d like it to be just me and DH as it’s a very personal thing.” should do.

Well if scan is quite low down and that area will be exposed - do you want FIL to see it?

I've bluntly told mine it's a no and MIL expects to come into delivery room again in August.

Don't bloody think so.

No. Too personal but I would buy them a dvd and a picture.

If you don't feel comfortable, don't do it. I think it is quite an intimate thing and it's okay to want it just to be you and your dh.

MIL expects to come into delivery room again in August

What is wrong with people like this??

Fuck that!
Say oh - wow- no not really it's too personal

Thank you all! I'm glad I'm not the only one who isn't keen on the idea!
Love the meeting them for a coffee straight after idea, thank you.
And re the pube issue, I think only MIL was wanting to come in with us to the actual scan room, not FIL. But I think I'd feel as awkward about either of them seeing most of my torso if I'm honest! MIL and FIL, neither seeing would be preferable So I will opt out entirely and just phrase it nicely or say it's too personal.
Thanks everyone

I wouldn't want that either. I think scans are a very private thing and it's a special moment between yourself and your partner, not you, your partner and his mum.

My partner can't come to the 12 week scan so if my MIL offered (she hasnt) if love to have her there. I'd probably be happy her being there even if he could come tbh. But I can see I'm in the minority!

My mil came to a growth scan for my first baby and sat quietly in the corner blubbing with happiness! the thing is, though, she'd never have asked but it was heavy snow and her and fil drove us there so I didn't begrudge her at all. You're well within your rights to say no to her but show her the video afterwards!

If you don't feel comfortable then say no.

I wouldn't have mine there.

I booked a 4D scan a few weeks ago and invited my mum and mil. It was nice. They were both very grateful to experience it.
The sonographer needed my jeans low, but it wasn't indecent.

I wouldn't want my mil there but then I wouldn't want my mum there either and we're close, but if your comfortable with it let her go. I'm sure your mil will no what a woman's body looks like so I wouldnt be to concerned about her seeing your bikini line.. I'm sure she'll be too busy looking at her grandchild.

Kochab- she broke my trust massively and has told me to my face and my mum's I'm a bad mum.and she has spoken to a lawyer about custody.

I'm in the wrong as I'm breathing.

I wouldn't want to. I had a 4d scan with one of my babies and it was definitely a me and dh thing. I wouldn't want my mil or my mum seeing my stretch marks and wobbly bits. Also, although it was a private scan and it was booked as a "bonding" scan rather than a private anomaly scan it was still very much a medical appointment and they did all the usual measurements and checking for problems etc.

Gryffen you still speak to her??

No option as she lives a street away and takes our daughter each Wednesday night. She doesn't speak to my parents but always moans when we go across - never about her other son and wife who are away every weekend.

Out of respect for hubby I keep it civil but I'm straight with him when it comes to her giving shit about me and "orders".

I'm a strong woman and don't take bullying from anyone - She got that message when I told her if she's toxic to me she's toxic to and children.

She's been nice so far.

I took DH & DM to 20 week scan for DC1 and DH & DMIL to 20 week scan for DC2. It was fab and I'm really glad I included both mums. I had difficult pregnancies so it felt like a nice way to say thanks for being so helpful/ supportive

@gryffen This has made me feel better about the fact my MIL expected to be at the birth!! I had to be quite firm about it and I think I've hurt her feelings. But there is no way I want anyone but my husband at the hospital while I'm giving birth!!