I've touched on this before but there has been some developments I would appreciate some advice on. I'll try t o keep the background brief.
Positive test 17th Jan at 16 weeks.
Father not happy - pretty much disappeared for three weeks, no support as I was a mess too, this has continued.
1st scan 14th Feb, he wanted to find out the sex, I did not. He asked the sonographer who wouldn't tell him as I didn't want to know.
Discussions about baby names - He was happy with the choce of girl's name but not boy's name. Due to his lack of support, and nasty things he has said such as, 'I wish you had cheated so it wasn't mine' and other things.... I decided that I was not going to back down on my name choice. He was passionate about how much he hated the name and that no son of his was going to be called that.
2nd scan 9th March. He asked if he could know the sex and without my permission, the sonographer told him when I left the room. He then dropped me at my house and went back to work.
On reflection, I was very unhappy this happened as I really want a surprise. When talking about this before, he said that he would only tell his close family the sex of the baby which I was not happy about either as I don't want other people knowing the sex of my own baby before even I do. Aside from the worry of him telling other people (which he has now promised he won't, although I'm not sure I believe him) and also slipping up in conversation, it dawned on my that we are no longer going to be able to discuss baby names as if he found out that it is a girl, he will not be so against the boys name, and if he has found out it is a girl he will continue to put up a passionate fight about what boys name he wants or doesn't want.
So I was thinking of ways I could get around this. I thought about telling him that as he has taken that opportunity to discuss names away from us, I will no longer be discussing baby names with him. But realised that if he said ok to this, it would tell me it is a girl and if he wasn't ok with it it would tell me it is a boy.
So my friend suggested that I tell him that as we can no longer discuss names, I have been forced to rethink the names I had chosen and would not be discussing them with him. This way as he doesn't know what either name would be, he wouldn't fight for or against a name he doesn't know.
I told him this and he absolutely flipped on me. The argument has continued via text all weekend as he doesn't live with me. He has been really nasty with name calling, calling me a selfish c*t, tt and prck.
He says that he should have equal say in everything, and that he hasn't and that I have decided it all. All I've decided so far is that I did not want to find out the sex, this is extremely important to me and also the name. It's a name I have had for years and I will not budge. If he had been better to me I might consider looking at other names but I don't see why I should when he has decided that he isn't going to live with me and the baby, the baby will be living with me full time. He has a one bedroom house so isn't even going to have room for the baby there when it's older and stays over. He has said he will be here more 'inititally' when the baby is born but that will soon revert back to how it is now, seeing him on a Thursday evening, Saturday evevning and a Sunday. He has told me that he wishes the baby wasn't his and calling it a little bastard the other week which when I puled him up on it, said he was joking. I don't think he was at all.
Just wanted to get this out there and get opinions. What I said was the only thing I can think of which would take away the possibility of me guessing what the baby is. I think he's already slipped anyway as he wanted it to be a boy and when he came out of the room after she told him he was smirking. I am so bloody anrgy that she went and told him without even asking my permission and also that he went against my wishes.