Just found out expecting third boy.... talk to me

[welliwasntexpectingthat]

I don't know what i'm asking for really. I have 2 amazing boys, and a third on the way. I know i am very lucky and i am appreciative, i am so i feel bad that a bit of me is sad i will never have a daughter. Someone tell me to stop it!

STOP IT! You’ll have 3 lovely boys to adore their Mummy

And congratulations

Thank you! I'm annoyed at myself!

I had a tiny bit of this when my children were all the same sex. Not that I don't adore them, or that I particularly wanted the other sex, but just the finality of it. My baby days are over, forever, so that's it! Have had same feeling with career, etc, etc... The realisation that I'll never pursue that other career/marry a millionaire /go backpacking. My life is lovely, but realising I'll never have all the parallel lives I imagined hits me sometimes! Don't know if that makes sense but it's how I understood it, not a disappointment just a realising life experiences are finite.
Congratulations of your three lovely boys

There's nothing wrong with briefly mourning the daughter you won't have - it doesn't mean that you in any way regret the sons you do.

Really though it will be lovely for your boys - three boys together always seem to be such a gang, and the convenience alone is also so handy, especially if they end up at a single sex school at any point!

And as they get older, things are not the same as when we were growing up with MILs at arms length - plenty of boys might end up being SAHDs who want their mum around - and/or you may have lovely working DILs (or SILs) who will be thrilled to have you involved.

I think all you can do is remember how lucky you are! Don't beat yourself up about how you're feeling.

Dh is one of four boys - there is a real sense of their being a 'tribe' and MIL gets on really well with all four DILs. Now grandchildren are arriving it's developing into a full on clan! I think it's a lovely family dynamic. My family (I have one brother, so my parents have the classic one of each sex combo) isn't as close, and though I love my mum deeply we just don't have the same kind of fun spending time with them as with dh's family. I definitely think that it's not the sex of the children that most affects the closeness of the relationship.

Congratulations. You'll likely get some unkind comments but it's okay to feel sad at a door closing. Doesn't mean you won't utterly adore the path gifted to you.

Acknowledge the sadness AND celebrate the reality. You'll be just fine.

One day, you may have half a dozen granddaughters ! 😄🌸

I have a friend who openly mourns the fact that she'll never have a daughter, but she adores her boys and wouldn't change them for anything. I think it took her a while to accept the fact that boys are her family and that's that, but she's happy.

I've just read a heartbreaking post on miscarriage/pregnancy loss so, you know, on this Mother's Day count yourself lucky that you are a mum and have children who love you.

I think it's only human nature to mourn that we won't have a son/daughter.

When I had DD3 I never wanted a boy as such, I had a traumatic mc before her and almost lost her, I was really defensive as it was other people reactions which hurt me "your poor husband" "are you going to keep going until you get your boy" awe another girl. Could have punched them here I was with a beautiful newborn.

We went for number 4 fully expecting a tribe of girls, of course it was a boy, part of me was disappointed but of course I adore him.

Have a little down moment then get prepared for your newborn son, oncehes here you will be smitten and wonder why you ever thought like that

You are all right and it's all stuff i know but i thank you massively for making me prioritise my thoughts. I hope and pray for a healthy happy boy. Thank you.

I have had numerous miscarriages, and am just desperate for this baby to stick. I wouldn't mind at all if it was a girl or a boy, nor would my other half and he already has a girl. We are just happy at the prospect of having a happy healthy baby

I have theee boys

You will no doubt here this said to you a lot
“ don’t you wish you’d had a girl instead “ 😂

I can’t remeber how many times I have heard that over the years !!

I understand this. I know I would be delighted with a third boy - my 2 are just divine and in my humble opinion, the world needs more like them We already have our 3rd boy name picked out. I love the idea of a band of boys. BUT. I would most likely also have a moment of 'oh...' upon finding out my third was another boy, I had that when I found out my second was a boy. Which is ridiculous, I don't know where it comes from. I wouldn't raise a girl any differently or expect her to be more of a friend to me. In fact, from my experience I prefer toddler/young boys in general. Hmmm.

At least you know you're being silly. My friend is expecting her second boy and both her BIL and grandma said 'Oh, what a shame!' when they heard! Now that is something to get your knickers in a twist about.

3 boys will be wonderful. You love your two and this one will bring just as much joy and more to his brothers. You lucky thing!

I had this for a day or two when I found out my next baby is a girl, I already have DD1 but would have liked a boy.

Obviously I’m thrilled to bits now that I’ll have another girl, but it’s very upsetting/rude when people say ‘well you’ll just have to have another then to get a boy’.. Em, I haven’t even had this one yet, give me a chance!

I’m 99% sure I don’t want more babies so I guess I’ll just have to dawn over any wee nephew I get

My sister always wanted a daughter but she’s got two boys and now she has three granddaughters who she is very close to.

Also expecting my third child, and third boy. I couldn’t be happier! A daughter would be nice but I know how to do boys already, they love their mummies unconditionally. I feel truly blessed to be honest.
Three boys will be amazing! And all that matters is that they’re healthy

I have 3 boys - they are awesome! As pp said, they're a little tribe, even though the youngest is only 1, he still charges around trying to keep up with the older 2.

I'm ashamed to say I had a little cry after I found out my third was a boy at 20 weeks - not so much because he was a boy, but because I knew he was going to be my last so meant I would never know what it was like to have a girl. I think it's natural to feel that to an extent, as long as you don't wallow in it. I promise, once he's here you won't give it a second thought, I wouldn't change any of my boys for anything.

I had a great thread at the time where lots of posters came on and told me lots of awesome stories about having multiple boys - it made me feel so much better. I'll see if I can find it and link it.

I have three boys, young adults now. They are amazing & have grown up to be so close. And they absolutely adore their old mum Enjoy your tribe of boys.

I'm another one with 3 boys.

I hear you. Yes, sometimes I wonder about that daughter. I think thats normal. But as others have said, 3 boys are wonderful. And it annoys me no end when people say, "Oh dear, no-one to help you!" Like assuming DH does sod all, and I would train a daughter to wash dishes and do laundry but not 3 sons? WTAF?

Just make sure the clothes you buy for your eldest are hard-wearing, because you'll definitely be getting your moneys' worth!!

I have three boys and I completely understand how you feel. I felt the same many years ago. Now, it doesn't even cross my mind. They're all lovely, all very different to each other and, when they aren't falling out, they're the best of friends. Can't stand the rude people who ask (in front of the boys) whether I would like to try for a girl.

congratulations on your pregnancy. It's understandable to feel disappointed at not having a girl but hope the feelings pass soon.

For what it's worth I have both boys and girls and if I had to choose between boys or girls I would 100% choose boys. Boys are so much easier emotionally. Girls can be a nightmare, hormonal, moody, friendship issues, boyfriends, social media pressures, clothing expenditure. The boys are so much more level headed. We are close, they are affectionate, and I can imagine them staying closer to home as adults than the girls. So good luck and enjoy your 'gang' of boys.