2nd pregnancy and sooo tired!

[Smilingthru]

DD1 is 2. I’m 20 weeks with DC2 and I am so ridiculously tired!!! Work is mega stressful and even though I only do 2 days a week I am exhausted by the end of it! DH is unwell and has been to a few weeks so I’m doing all the parenting, cleaning, shopping etc. DD is amazing but full on! My back is already hurting (had SPD with DD1 and don’t think my back ever really recovered!) and I’m not really that big atm!

My family help out but I feel guilty for asking for help. Work won’t be sympathetic so nothing I can do there. Don’t really know why I’m posting but hoping someone can tell me they feel the same or that it will get better! X

I feel for you! It didn't get better for me I'm afraid, but hopefully your DH will be better soon and start doing his share again. When can you start maternity leave?

I was feeling dreadful by week 7 - constant sickness and DS was only 13 months. I then found out it was twins 😱 At least that explained how rough I was feeling. Once the sickness subsided at 19 weeks, SPD kicked in. I'm now 31 weeks and some evenings I'm in so much pain I can't move.

I've learnt to ask for help and DH spends a lot more time with DS than he used to. Luckily his job allows it. I'm finishing work next week thank God!

Hope you feel better soon.

22 weeks tomorrow and DD is 15 months. Like you, I'm working 3 days a week, sometimes with overtime.

Pregnancy is never exactly a picnic, but I don't remember so many aches and pains at the allegedly 'good' stage I'm at now. This time it seems to have exacerbated some existing issues I have with my knee so I'm pretty much in constant low level pain from that. I'm also still breastfeeding my daughter, and that has become really painful again. I don't think her clambering all over me is helping either. I didn't have a 45 minute bus commute last time either, and the joy that comes with this is that it's still occasionally making me sick even though the nausea has gone at all other times. Every time I have to get off and vomit, I am surprised anew that it's still happening. Then there's the fact that last time, I was able to do things like pregnancy yoga, which really helped. It's difficult to fit that in these days.

I'm only surviving because my DP is doing more than the lions share of the parenting. She is still sleeping terribly, but he is dealing with her through the night now, which is more than I deserve. But knowing that at least I am going to get a full night's sleep makes things bearable. Sorry things are so tough for you OP. Was / is your DH's illness serious? Is he likely to recover soon? It's so hard to ask for help, especially if the status quo in your house is that 'your jobs' include XYZ but if you are currently doing all the parenting / housework / cooking / shopping etc etc in addition to working part time, he will need to step up, as I'm not sure it will get better otherwise! Unless you're in a position to be able to buy in some outside help?

Hey OP, could you consider putting your DD1 into nursery to give you a couple mornings/afternoons off?

I've started doing this in my third trimester. It's expensive, but I feel less guilty about keeping my DS1 busy and entertained. At least I know he has had some messy play and social interaction, while it gives me a few hours to catch up on housework, have a bath () and a nap/chill out!

I'm planning on keeping him going when DS2 arrives (1 month to go!) To give us a little bit of 'quiet time'.

I did feel hugely guilty at first. But actually I think nursery is really benefitting DS1. Since being pregnant I haven't had the energy to go to so many toddler groups.

Or get a cleaner! I am secretly considering getting one... But I just can't justify it while on SMP

Glad I’m not alone. DD attends nursery but on my work days. I benefit during school holidays (I’m a teacher) but apart from that she with me when I’m home.

DH has recurring illness but also just can’t deal with it. His pain thresh hold is ridiculously low and I often think he just needs to get on with stuff. When I say this we end up arguing because “I don’t understand!” When I point out that I have to carry on regardless (have had stomach bus and vomiting every 30mins and properly bed bound flu but still had to deal with DD as he had work) he just ignores it.

DH has never really been a hands on dad and I’m noticing it more now I’m struggling.

It all just feels a bit rubbish. Been up with DD since 5:30 and DH hasn’t only just got up...this maddens me so much!

That is a bit rubbish, especially on Mother's Day! In your situation I would be considering how best to address the lack of parenting on your dh's part before the new baby arrives, lest you further consolidate the expectation that all things childcare related, in addition to household tasks, fall to you!