To clean MiLs' house?

[Bonge]

Hi all,

Myself and my partner are currently staying with his parents, I'm 29 weeks pregnant and am in full nesting mode. The problem is, his parents' house is beyond filthy and genuinely needs a good scrub.

I'm not working at the moment, so I will be home alone during the day. It will also give me something to do as I'll be bored all day on my own.

Is it disrespectful if I clean? I don't want it to seem like I'm taking over, or I think that her house is filthy (which it is...)

The last thing that I would want to do is make them feel uncomfortable, even though I'm definitely not comfortable myself; they've welcomed me into their home.

Thank you!

Do it gradually clean the bathroom then the kitchen etc and if they say anything say ach i wasn't doing anything else it I don't mind but don't tidy too much as it is their home,

I personally wouldn't like it if someone cleaned my house but your situation is slightly different in that you're living there and aren't just visiting.

Start by doing little bits here and there and if questioned or if you get the chance say you're doing it as a way to pay your way as you're unable to whilst not working. I think that would be the kindest and least offensive way to do it.

When you say 'beyond filthy' what do you mean exactly? Piles of junk and rubbish? Or lots of dust and worktops/ floors etc not wiped down and hoovered well?

MiL lives in filth and is always grateful when I clean.

Maybe.

Perhaps she slags me off when I'm gone? But I can't stay/eat in filth.

Maybe a white lie, like I read in a magazine that cleaning is great for getting the baby's head down and helps the right muscles get stronger for labour, or your midwife told you. Then get on with it.

If someone cleaned my house for me I would be eternally grateful but that might just be me!!

Do it! I wouldn't bring a baby in a dirty house and if your there all day get it spic and Span. What do your other half say? Does he notice it's filthy? Out gets said say I'm nesting and needed to do it xx

I hate when MIL wants to be helpful and clean our house. But I’m quite particular and it sounds like that wouldn’t apply here.

I'd clean it,.you're living there right now and need to feel comfortable. Will.you be there once baby is born? I often clean my parents house for them, they appreciate it

If you're happy to clean then do so. Like one poster has said though maybe do it gradually so they don't feel you are doing it because they are grubby (which you've said they are) and if hey say anything then just say you was bored and don't mind helping out around the house or say that you've suddenly had a burst of nesting instinct. We lived with my partners parents while I was pregnant and for the first 6 months of my sons life. She's like OCD clean though. Not a spec of dust or anything laying anywhere but even still one day I just had an urge to want to clean so just ran the duster and hoover around anyway. She thanked me and if she was pissed she didn't show it. I think she still hoovered when she got home anyway lol. Just for her own need haha

Thank you so much for the reply everyone x

It's pretty awful. I mean, there was USED earbud in the landing? WHY? I'm not even a neat freak, but I really don't understand. I do appreciate that everyone in the house works full time, so I can completely understand that the last thing they'd want to do is clean when they're tired after work. But wow.

@Brownbear84 I don't think my OH even notices! He's pretty messy too. He'll just leave things around without realising, like old mugs etc. Nothing too sinister. I don't have the heart to say anything to him about the state of the house, I don't want to upset him.

I'll give the bathroom a little scrub on Monday, so it doesn't look like I'm taking over or being offensive.

Also, his dad smokes in the house. I'm not "anti-smoking", I used to smoke but quit when I found out that I was pregnant. I really don't like him smoking in the house, tho

*though (only because I'm pregnant otherwise I wouldn't mind). I can't say anything though, can I?

Are you staying there long term?

Tbh if I was living in someone else's house and they were all working and I wasnt id be taking over the cleaning (and the cooking). Its polite to contribute to the running of a house in some way, especially as a guest.

@Afreshcuppateaplease Hopefully not, but not guaranteed yet. They're nice enough people and what's more important is that we have a roof over our heads. I just want things to be as nice as possible for when baby's here. I think it's just instinct?

@NapQueen You're right. His dad absolutely loves to cook dinner though, but I'll take over as much cleaning as possible. I don't want to seem to be taking the piss! Although I'll start in moderation so I don't seem to be too much too soon.

Thank you for your help xx

Yes bonge i was asking as i wouldnt want someone smoking in the house around my newborn but its their house so you cannot dictate where they smoke really can you

I’d do the bathroom.

Then depending on what they’re like, you could say you thought you’d help with the chores whilst you were there. Or you could say you were sick (are you sick in pregnancy?) and did a thorough clean?

One caution. Some people don’t clean as they don’t like chemical use. I saw a program where a woman was offered a clean and she didn’t want certain products used. You could wipe up with baby wipes and dispose of them, that would avoid a smell of bleach or strong products???

Ask them. Say you'd like to help as they're putting you up and your nesting instinct has kicked in. MIL cleans when she comes round and it annoys me a bit.

@Afreshcuppateaplease I know. It's so awkward. I did mention it to my OH a while ago when we just used to go round once a week and he said he'd bring it up, but obviously hasn't. I just don't want to create an atmosphere in someone else's home. I'll definitely mention it to OH if we're still here when baby's born.

@ScattyCharly You're so right about the cleaning products! I did not even think of that, so thank you for mentioning. I'll stick to wipes, then and just do the best that I can.

@Oysterbabe I really hate people touching my things, too. That's what I'm worried about! It's not like I'm rummaging through her personals, but I'm still worried.

Thank you everyone x