Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

quick wedding or wait

26 replies

Welshchloe · 09/03/2018 08:42

hi all

I'm 5 weeks pregnant with my first (his third), we are engaged and started to plan wedding but with me being pregnant (wanted a baby after having wedding) and not sure to do a quick wedding now early or wait until after the baby is born. I would like to be married first but i got a bad feeling I'm going to have a demon pregnancy and not going to be in the mood to plan a quick wedding.

What would you do?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Bluebelltulip · 09/03/2018 08:46

I would wait. We had already booked our wedding when I found out I was pregnant, I was 35 weeks when we got married. It was fine but I was uncomfortable and tired.

Kpo58 · 09/03/2018 09:06

I'd have a quick registrar wedding before the baby and a big party in about a years time.

parietal · 09/03/2018 09:08

plan a quick wedding for when you are about 25 weeks along and then have a bit party later.

FranticallyPeaceful · 09/03/2018 09:16

I would definitely wait, but you will now have an influx of women telling you to lock that man down ASAP, because Mumsnet

sugarycerealfan · 09/03/2018 09:23

I was unknowingly pregnant when I got married, we had planned to try straight after the wedding

We booked and planned our wedding in 7 weeks because we wanted a baby ASAP

In your position I'd say to do it quick (although not because of all the hysteria over unmarried parents!). My logic was that I wanted us all to feel like a family before the baby arrived (I have a DSD). I wanted the same name as my DH/DSD/baby. And I felt like if we put it off and waited until after the baby there would potentially always be something holding us back - money (dependant on your financial situation/whether you want a big wedding), time to plan or even potentially waiting until you've had another baby so all the children can be there, and it getting postponed another few years.

We had a fairly small wedding, because that was what we wanted. But you could always get married now, maybe have a celebratory meal with close family, then have a big party on your anniversary?

Original poster

Welshchloe · 09/03/2018 09:23

we are both on the fence over it because we would like me to have the same surname on the birth certificate but i got a bad feeling I'm going to be the size of a house in the pics and in no mood for it and not being able to have a drink

OP posts:

SurreyMay · 09/03/2018 09:26

We found out we were pregnant a few days after we got engaged. We’ve booked the wedding for 18 months later so I can focus on the pregnancy/having a baby first. My friend got married when she was pregnant - small registery office with only family with the view to having a party when the baby is here. However now the baby is here priorities have changed and they aren’t having the party now. It’s up to you and how important having a “wedding” is vs being married.

Lilonetwo · 09/03/2018 09:29

I was in your situation 2 years ago :-)

We were already engaged and had planned wedding for following year.

Once I found out I was pregnant we brought wedding forward. It was pretty easy to organise it all in 11 weeks.

I didn't want the pressure of fitting into my dress 3 months after giving birth, that and having a newborn and not being able to honeymoon.... So at the wedding I was about 16 weeks pregnant, didn't show at all. (Although I had To have my dress altered as my waist has expanded a couple of inches.)

Morning sickness had just stopped the week of the wedding (lucky I know!)

Regarding drinking alcohol- I had a couple of glasses of fizz staggered throughout the night. But to be honest I'm not a big drinker anyway and was too busy chatting to guests to want to drink!

I bought a pair of sandals to change into for the evening and everything went so smoothly.

It's very possible congratulations!

gingerfoxcub · 09/03/2018 09:30

The name thing would swing it for me but I feel pretty strongly about my kids having the same name as me. Weddings I don't really care for, so I'd go for a quickie wedding and be free to concentrate on the marriage and the baby.

Katkin14 · 09/03/2018 09:32

DH and I found out I was pregnant after we booked the wedding. I was due a week before we were going to get married.

We moved the wedding forward and got married when I was 5 months. We had a lovely little wedding: registry office, early bird special at a local restaurant and then hired out a section of our fav bar. It was understated and felt really special and meant we all had the same surname when DS arrived. (We made a new combined surname and didn’t want DS to be the only one with that surname until we got married).

I guess it depends what you want, really? If you’d rather have a big wedding, probably best to wait.

MagicFajita · 09/03/2018 09:33

It's a tricky one op.

Dh and I had our wedding all planned and booked for a certain month and then discovered d's was on the way , he ended up being born 2 days after that date.

Anyway we had to decide if we wanted to marry before or after his birth. We decided on three months after as we wanted our baby part of our celebrations and (selfishly) I wanted to wear a particular dress.

We had a lovely (but very busy) day with our then three month old and he's in our pictures. Which we're really happy with.

Also we were told that we can reregister his birth with our new names.

Original poster

Welshchloe · 09/03/2018 09:34

financial situation is good because his wages are amazing and mine just really go into savings because we were talking about me being a stay at home mum and doing a bit mobile hairdressing on the side when we can get a sitter so i don't go nuts

OP posts:

Oysterbabe · 09/03/2018 11:17

Quicky wedding on the cheap then a nice child free holiday for the last time.

Kpo58 · 09/03/2018 11:19

If you are planning on being a SAHM, then definitely get married first!

Original poster

Welshchloe · 09/03/2018 12:13

kpo58 why is me planning to be a SAHM a reason to get married first?

OP posts:

Kpo58 · 09/03/2018 12:39

Because if he ever left you or died, you could be left with nothing. Also as a SAHM it is much harder to get back into work if you needed to suddenly.

Frazzled2207 · 09/03/2018 12:52

Well I can't imagine planning a wedding with a baby (mine didn't sleep until they were 2 and never napped properly) so even if you wait until baby here I would try and do all the planning before baby arrives?

I think a quickie wedding on the cheap when pregnant sounds fab though. We spent a heck of a lot on our wedding, and also our honeymoon- it was fab but a ridiculous amount of money in hindsight.

Original poster

Welshchloe · 10/03/2018 14:54

Sorry I went quiet yesterday spoke to himself and he said we got £10,000 for a wedding so I called the registers office and they have a opening on a Saturday at 1 in 10 weeks so I booked it. we called our parents down and told them we are doing a quick wedding due to me being early on in the pregnancy and my dad gave us another £5000 so we are going to go a little all out and booked the venue I wanted before I found out so it’s all go now

OP posts:

Oysterbabe · 10/03/2018 15:01

Lovely. Congratulations :)

Usedaname01 · 10/03/2018 15:29

I got engaged 4 months before becoming pregnant with my first. We had started a plan, we knew what we wanted but hadn't really bought anything yet. So we decided to wait and just do it when the time feels right. We didn't end up getting married until last August, DD is 3 now. I'm glad we waited though, it was nice to have our daughter there at the wedding. We have more money now too. But it's different for everyone I guess so I couldn't really say whether waiting or having a quick wedding would be best

Usedaname01 · 10/03/2018 15:30

Although it was quite hectic planning a wedding with a small child to look after and work. So maybe it would be easier not to wait haha

Original poster

Welshchloe · 10/03/2018 15:38

We decided to not do a honeymoon and just have a weekend away

OP posts:

GoodyGoodyGumdrops · 10/03/2018 16:11

I was in a similar position to the OP.

I wanted to wait until the baby was old enough to participate in the wedding, but many, many people told me not to. That if I waited I'd never get it done because life with tinies would get in the way.

With hindsight I see that they were right. We were married three months after my BFP. It was an absolutely wonderful day, and the wedding was practically perfect. I have no regrets.

Mycatsarebetterthanyours · 10/03/2018 16:25

I'd get married after but I would still plan and book it now for 18 or so months time because I think if you don't book it now you never will as your original plans will go out the window because your priorities will change.

Smellyjo · 10/03/2018 19:11

Wow fast moving welshchloe! I was coming on to say anyway, I think defo get married sooner than later. Planning a wedding when pregnant is a bit stressy but at least such a short period to plan means stress to a minimum, and I think planning with a baby or toddler would be so much harder. I got married at 32 weeks and I was huge but I felt beautiful. I loved that I didn't have to think about dieting and I could embrace how I looked at the time. Congratulations.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread