"Carrying small" - where, exactly, is my baby hiding?

[sunandfire]

This is a strange post, and I'm not even sure I'll be able to form my thoughts into an actual question.

I'm currently 28+6 weeks, and "carrying small". I can suck my belly in some, and it wouldn't even really look like I was much pregnant. However, 'fundal height'-wise, I'm measuring accurately. Anyway, it's hard to imagine/believe that there's actually a 28+6 week baby in there because I just can't see it from the outside! Also, an account dedicated to premature babies (who go on to become fully developed, healthy babies) often appears on my 'Discover' page on Instagram, and it's hard to believe that my baby is the same gestational age as some of the babies featured on that account - "There's NO WAY that a baby of that size is fitting inside this tiny belly of mine - is there!?!?" is a common question. Although the babies on the page are tiny, of course, to me they're huge (when I think about their size in relation to the supposed size of the baby that's currently inside me).

Anyway, I guess my question is: what is the science behind carrying small? Where does the baby hide? Whenever I look at my belly, it's really hard to understand how an actual baby of a supposed size is actually fitting in there! Is it that he's "sitting in my back"? Might my uterus be tilted backwards (although I haven't been told this)? I guess, for my own reassurance, I'd just like to know how this is possible. For ages I was really quite worried about the fact that I was "carrying small", so I guess this need for reassurance and a way to understand the science behind this stems from some lingering worry.

Again, sorry for how strange this post is, and thanks for taking the time to make sense of it and maybe even respond to this absurdity! ☺️

@MinnieMousse It seems that a retroverted uterus might explain carrying small in a lot of cases, as it tilts baby backwards and deeper inside you. I want to find out if I have a retroverted uterus, but haven't yet been told this so perhaps not (kinda wishing I do, as it would make this all make sense to me).

Not sure if it's related to having a retroverted uterus, but I did feel all my contractions in my back, which I thought afterwards might be because the babies were positioned so far back. I have always had period pains in my back too.

Just as a comparison - I was a size 6/8 before pregnancy and 5 ft 4. I had a bump from about 16 weeks and ended up with quite a big bump at the end. Whenever I saw a midwife and she felt bump they would always say 'Oh it's all baby!' You could feel exactly where baby was laying and alot of the time see arms/legs!
He was born a big old 8lb2 ( which might not seem big to some but seeing as me and my DH are quite petite, it was a shock he was that big!)
I am also quite fit and healthy.
Basically, I think it can't have much to do with your physical size or fitness. It must be more to do with uterus shape and how it grows inside you, amount of fluid etc.

@DiscombobulatedWomble it's amazing the variation in bump sizes! A lot of users have said that their midwives were wondering where they were hiding the baby, which I think is a little strange as you'd think midwives were pretty used to coming across smaller bumps sometimes, and knew exactly how they work, rather than expressing confusion/alarm!

@Anxiouschild ah, so seems to have a lot to do with baby's positioning! This baby is more of a low sitter (most of the movement is lower down, around my belly button, and l haven't started to feel any rib kicks/discomfort yet).

It's crazy, because a lot of people point to strong abdominal or core muscles, which makes complete sense, but I've always had the hardest time in the gym when it comes to ab or core workouts, so my assumption has been that I actually have really weak muscles in that area! But then I've always had a naturally flat stomach with visible ab definition if I tense a little, so I really don't know! ☺️

@MinnieMousse oh, those 'in the back' contractions are supposed to be really painful - well down for championing through them!

@boodles101 ah, thanks for that comparison - really puts things into perspective. I can understand how fitness definitely might play a role in a smaller, 'neater' bump in some cases (strong abdominal/core muscles holding baby in), but I've seen a good number of pregnant fitness mamas on Instagram who are carrying or carried quite big - Emily Skye, for example, who showed really quite early on in her pregnancy and went on to have a huge bump. She was quite ripped before pregnancy.

So, yeah, I definitely buy the positioning explanation more than I do the fitness one, especially in my case - prior to pregnancy, I could barely do a minute of core or ab exercises (all my strength/power is in my lower body - upper body is very unremarkable, strength-wise) so have always assumed that I have terrible muscles in that area!

A friend of mine was similar - at seven months you couldn’t really tell she was pregnant with her first at all.

Some people just do look smaller - my friend ended up with a regular size bump by 8m because she had an abdominal separation that she said he felt happen 🤢

I’m a shortarse and there is nowhere to go but outwards for mine - I’m four months and already struggling to drive without bump on the wheel

It's a combination of size of baby, position of baby, amount of fluid, and how well your stomach muscles withstand the separation.
Tilted uterus shouldn't affect it too much, I have one and it tends to move forward as you get bigger anyway. Don't obsess over it. As long as you and the baby are healthy it really doesn't matter what size of bump you have!

@KochabRising ouch, that sounds painful! When I start to sit up from a laying down position, my bump goes into this weird pointy shape and I've read that that's due to the abdominal muscles separating during that movement! Don't know if everyone's bump does that, but it looks pretty darn freakish! 😱

@Girlwiththearabstrap oh, I didn't know that tilted uteruses move forward over time! I know I shouldn't obsess about it, but I'm the kind of person who wants to know the ins and outs of every process I find myself in. I can't drive and don't own a car, but I know that the moment I do I'll probably want to buy a book on the mechanics of a car! ☺️ there's a certain comfort in knowing that I have the knowledge/understanding in my own head, rather than having to rely solely on expert knowledge. I'm reassured through my own understanding/grasping of the situation, I guess.

@Girlwiththearabstrap every important process*

My first pregnancy didn't show any sign of bump until 3rd trimester.

Second pregnancy I felt like I had a visible bump from 11 weeks!

I wonder whether the laxity (or not) of your ligaments has something to do with it too? I'm tall with a long torso and retroverted uterus so by all reckoning I should have had small bumps but I have a similar picture to DiscombobulatedWomble taken at 42+ weeks the night before my baby arrived and my bump is at least twice the size of hers. I have very lax ligaments (am hypermobile in some joints) and had SPD in that pregnancy so I think everything just gave up and let it all hang out!

@snowmachine I'm in my third trimester now and still not fully convinced that I have a real 'bump' as I can suck it in some (apparently, if you can suck it in it's just bloat, and whatever little 'bump' remains is the true size of the 'bump'?🤔). 😂

@TheNecroscope oh, that makes a lot of sense!

I'm very short (under 5ft) and carried small.

Didn't look pregnant at all from the back and just looked at bit fat until about 7 months.

Midwives put it down to being quite fit and having good abdominal tone.

My mum is a similar size to me from photos her bump with me was about the same size at six months as mine was with ds at term.

It did feel like he spent of his time located in my lungs though, so could be position of baby has an impact on bump size?

I don't know where your baby is hiding, but I carried small and measured small throughout only to have a 8lb7 daughter a week early!

I think there is a lot of variation of bump size - except on CTMW where everyone seems to have an enormous bump that means they can't get up without help - I wasn't even that big with twins!

I had very neat bumps with both my sons, even at 30 weeks unless i wore something skin tight you couldn't tell i was pregnant! In saying that, from around 32 weeks i started to get more of a noticeable bump, still very neat and "all baby". I had growth scans with my first, second time the same midwife was happy that i was measuring ok again. Both babies born around the 8 pound mark.

If you're getting the pointy shaped bump at this stage, it is a sign of a potential diastasis recti. Not all women get the cone (I had it on my third), and not everyone who has the cone goes on to have a significant separation. But, it's good to be aware of it and start being more careful about the strain you put on your abdominals.

For instance, always roll over from your back to your side and push yourself up to sitting from there - my women's health physio said that women should always, always do this pregnant or not. After baby is born, don't do sit ups or crunches until the separation has closed. I'm sure there are plenty of websites out there with good pointers.

I was exactly the same! I'm 5 6" and a Size 10-12 and carried small throughout my pregnancy and was always a week or two behind in terms of fundal measurements (which massively stressed me out!). Gave birth on my due date to a 6lb baby who was completely healthy. Everyone kept asking me if I'd got the dates wrong and asking me where the baby was which got so so SO annoying by the end. Pregnant ladies don't need those sorts of comments when they're already dealing with hormones all over the place!

@SpacePenguin oh, my gosh - thanks for letting me know that! 😱 After I wrote the comment about it (the pointy belly thing), I asked my mum what the hell it was and she made out like it was just a regular part of pregnancy (as she had it with all three of us, and went on to have perfectly flat/toned bellies with my brother and I, but not my youngest sister but she was much older by then), so I went on to think that it was just normal abdominal separation during pregnancy! Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't all women's abdominal muscles separate during pregnancy? What would be the difference between average separation and separation causing a cone shape - how MUCH separation has occurred? And would the fact that I get the cone shape indicate that I have weak abdominal muscles? Also, is diastasis recti that the muscles HAVE separated (which I assumed is the case in all pregnancies?), or that, for some reason, they CAN'T fuse back (just trying to understand if it's a permanent issue or something that can be fixed)? Sorry, I know that I'm asking you questions that you may not know the answer to but I can't say I'm not freaked out by the thought of having diastasis recti, postpartum (as a young person of 24 who previously had a flat stomach with ab definition when tensed, and a 26-inch waist! 😂)

Thanks for the advice on turning over - turns out I'd been turning over totally wrong! Do you know if there's anything I could do, exercise-wise, to prevent this from getting worse? Nope, I'm asking you too many questions - let me do my own research!

Thanks, again, for pointing out this potential problem - I just wish I had known about it sooner!!!

@Pp3000 wow, you gave birth on your actual due that? I've not heard of that before! Oh, I totally agree! It was very much the comments/speculation of others that initially fuelled this concern I have about carrying small - it's very, very unhelpful!

@Mammyloveswine I love hearing stories like this! Does "all baby" indicate that what is seen/felt is actual baby, and not fluid/fat for example? I keep coming across that term!