Baby on Board Badge

[coffeeforone]

I’m only 12 weeks pregnant, and last time I used to carry a BOB badge and only put it on if I felt I needed a seat (e.g. a few times in the early days when I felt sick/faint). Later on sometimes people would notice the bump and offer anyway, or I’d just ask. I’ve noticed a lot of women on my commute wearing them the last few weeks only some with a noticeable bump, and a couple of times have happened to be sitting in the seat next to where they were standing so obviously offered my seat. However, is it selfish to wonder if everyone wearing a BOB badge needs a seat more than those who are PG without a badge? Would it be reasonable to assume that anyone wearing a badge genuinely needs a seat?

OMG if you want a seat wear a badge. Worry about yourself and not what everyone else has going on.

I needed the seat most when 6-10 weeks and suffering with morning sickness - assume if someone is wearing the badge they want the seat.

@SomeRandomBird that’s my thinking. I’m 12 weeks now so the sickness isn’t as bad as it was, I can sip water and feel ok. I tend to get a seat initially but as train gets closer to London it gets packed and there’s only limited seats. There just seem to be loads of BOB wearers (and probably lots more pregnant non-badge wearers) at the moment and I just can’t ‘not see’ them like plenty of others do. I think they could be feeling awful, they could be fine - but obviously best to offer.

Well, what else are you going to do - assume that no one wearing the badge needs a seat? Or apply your own personal test, based just on looking at the woman and if she looks pregnant 'enough' to do? You can wonder all you like, but I can't see any non-dickish alternative to assuming that a woman wearing the badge would indeed appreciate the offer of a seat.

Definitely wear a badge if you want a seat, if you choose not to wear it then that's your decision but you can't then be annoyed that someone who is wearing a badge may not realise you are also pregnant!

I wear a badge, and although I never ask anyone to give up their seat for me, as I can't ever assume my need is greater than there's I will always accept a seat if it is offered to me.

It might not be because they want a seat. I started wearing mine at about 28 weeks as a train conductor said it might encourage people to be more gentle in rush hour and not shove me out of the way. I often decline seats if offered and I'm feeling ok.

I would if I were you, I really struggled in the early days with tiredness and morning sickness, I think I was about 16 weeks and I went for my lunch I stood in the queue and by the time I was at the front I felt like I was going to faint fuzzy eyes and everything it was awful, I can imagine public transport would be horrendous... my friend who lived in London whilst pregnant collapsed on the tube, heavily pregnant, after being sick in her handbag, she said only 1 person stopped to help her and he was a doctor, honestly, think of yourself and not others, they would do the same

I found no one even noticed I was pregnant until I was huge, bump didn't pop until about 25 weeks and I always wear loose clothing so I can understand why!

Of course it's reasonable to assume they need a seat! That's the whole point of the badge! If you offer and they decline (as I occasionally do) then absolutely no harm done, but the alternative is trying to second guess how someone else is feeling, which seems ridiculous. If you choose not to wear a badge while pregnant that's your choice.

Wear a badge. But I’m absolutely massive and no fucker gives me their seat on the London Underground. Women are the worst for it, I was barged out of the way by women, men tend to be kinder

Um... yes of course it's reasonable to assume that! And if you want to avoid giving up your own seat for people wearing badges (unclear if that's what you want - apologies if I have misunderstood!)... wear a badge yourself! I've just ordered one. I'm only 10 weeks though so will probably only wear it at the moment if I feel really rough - later I'll wear it to try and avoid people pushing past me.

It's awkward if you offer it to someone not wearing a badge and they turn out not to be pregnant.

Wear the badge!! That’s what it’s for. I would have worn a badge with no bump as had terrible SPD from about 9 weeks and horrendous sickness.
No one is going to begrudge giving a pregnant woman a seat.

Thanks for the replies. I haven’t worn a badge yet this time as I get on earlier in the line and usually get a seat anyway, and on the days I felt really queasy a few weeks ago I didn’t offer to give up my seat (there wasn’t actually a situation where a BOB wearer was standing close to me), but not sure what I would have done in that situation without an awkward ‘I feel sick too’ conversation!

If I feel fine I don’t mind at all giving up my seat, as not many commuters on my line do, so I’d prefer not to wear a badge all the time ( I also don’t really like the attention it draws) . It would be interesting to know what % of pregnant London commuters wear them.

Wear a badge or don't wear a badge, if you need a seat and no one offers one up for you then ask for a seat. If you need the seat, aren't wearing a badge but feel you need one then speak up and say you need the seat.

Don't get me wrong, I think they can be handy and can help out when you're shy but they shouldn't replace verbally asking for a seat when you need one, sometimes they seem to cause more trouble than they're worth when people get offended that they're wearing one and no one offers up a place to sit or when they can't visibly see someone is pregnant but they're wearing one (and don't understand that aches and pains and nausea is invisible).

Interesting to read this as I'm also a Londoner and currently 9 weeks pregnant. I have ordered a badge just yesterday as been feeling so sick on the train. I had a really awful episode standing up on a packed train the other day and felt so sick and faint I had to get off at a random station.

I'm going to wear it whenever I feel the need as I've always given up my seat for badge wearers, very noticeable bumps, elderly people etc so feel it's my turn and I won't feel guilty.

I don't think it's just about feeling unwell, but safety as well. On the DLR when heavily pregnant, it was very hard to balance and if the train broke suddenly it would send everyone flying... Not what a pregnant woman needs!

First time badge wearer here and I can confirm no CF passengers on the circle line gave up their seat for me today. I saw you all clock it!!

@thirtyplusone our London home is on the circle line route and it’s full of full-on cheeky bastard fuckers. Honestly, I usually keep my mouth closed but I’m getting to the point where I just take an Uber everywhere now to avoid exploding all over people because of how inconsiderate people are - especially on the circle! I can stay stood up most of the time but if one more person rams me out of the way despite me looking like a whale-lord I’m just going to throw them under

@FranticallyPeaceful I was on my way back from the hospital and terribly disappointed I wasn’t sick over all their heels and important man briefcases. I’m going to start calling people out. The stood up people looked sympathetic on my behalf.

I wore one through both pregnancies - I was getting on the train in zone 2 (Archway or Finsbury Park) so it was already wedged by the time I was getting on and I had low blood pressure from early on both times which meant I got dizzy if I stood for more than around 10 minutes at a time. I was more likely to get a seat on the Northern line than on a Great Northern train full of Hertfordshire suitwankers.

Wear the badge. I've worn mine since 12 weeks and, owing to a 1.5-2 hour commute each way - I need the seat! If I'm feeling okay I'll refuse the offer, but at 30 weeks most of the time I want the seat.