To party (or not to party)

[30baby30]

I'm 30 weeks pregnant, and my baby's DD is 4 weeks before my 30th birthday. It's our first, so I'm naive and need help!

Is it madness to think I should have (and will enjoy!) a 30th birthday celebration?! I'm not thinking anything crazy, just 10-15 friends over for a late afternoon BBQ.

At the moment I think it's important to mark the occasion in some way, but not sure whether I will regret this 'ignorance is bliss' attitude with a newborn..!

Advice very much appreciated.

Pregnant with my first so not helpful from an experience perspective....

But could you organise a party / bbq but ask everyone to bring something? If everyone brought a salad or a pudding for example, all you’d have to provide is some meat (online delivery?) and hopefully then minimum pressure on you. If you only invite people who are close to you they will understand if you need to go and lie down or aren’t in full hostess mode if sure!

You want to host a bbq for 15 friends when you will potentially have 2 week old who is your first baby and all the learning curve that comes with that?

I think you’re being unrealistic here. It might be fine, it might not be. But that’s not the kind of pressure you need with a 2 week old.

My mum had a family BBQ for her birthday when my sister was 6 days old! As long as you can get help with food, cleaning etc and you are quite laid back about these things, I'd say go for it!

I think its a good idea. If you're only inviting that many people they will be close family and friends im guessing? So none of them will expect you to lift a finger anyway! They will all chip in, all have a cuddle with baby, it will be a nice way for people to meet baby and might put some people off coming to see you right at the very start when you just want to be left alone.
Just ask everyone to bring something, there will always be a man around who wants to take charge of the bbq lol so you can sit back and enjoy a drink. I think its a lovely idea and you'll be spoilt rotten coz you've just given birth. Plus no one will mind if you want to slip off for a bit if it gets a bit much.

Yes of course you should have a party
Life doesn’t stop just because you have a baby.

Just ask a few friends if you need help with food or cleaning

But it’s not about being laid back. It’s about whether you e had a c-section, or a massive tear. It’s about how well feeding is going or how much sleep you’re getting. It’s about whether you’ve made the adjustment in lifestyle because it’s your 2nd / 3rd and you’ve got other children to look after or whether you don’t know your arse from your elbow.

Could someone host it for you, so you can just turn up? Will be much more relaxing than having to clean up before/after and you can go home when you want leaving your guests to carry on if they want.

Just the sort of positive responses I was hoping for! Thanks all, you've really given me a boost.

Exactly, it'll be about 8 close friends, my mum and dad, and DH. Good idea about finding a keen man to watch the BBQ - easily done I'm sure!

Can def do an online delivery and will make everything as easy as possible. The 'bring a dish' idea is a great one.

Hooray!

I wouldn’t plan it no, like PP have said you could go 2 weeks overdue and therefore have a 2 week old. I was in no fit state to host a party when my DS was 2 weeks old.

I’d wait until you’ve had the baby and then see how you feel.

God no I couldn't think of anything worse! You'll be knackered and have to tidy up after those 10-15 people when all you want to do is cry into your milk/vomit stained t shirt because your so tired and want them all the piss off!

Thanks pottering. It's my first, as I said in my first post.

It's close friends and family. If I had an ECS or am in hospital, I can easily cancel and I'm sure they won't hold it against me... Appreciate your comments.

I think as long as you keep it low key, are laid back about hosting and have plenty of help with setting up and cleaning up, it sounds like a really nice idea! Life doesn't stop once you have a baby and chances are after a couple of weeks you'll be tired but ok. Having people bring a dish is a great idea.

Its not like your hosting a formal event, its easy to cancel if you need to. And look at it the other way, you could have a 6 week old by then in a lovely routine and you don't want to ignore your 30th! I'd defo do it, and just make DH tidy up

DH can definitely be on tidying duty! I could also get someone to cater it (canapes only) as it's so few people, so that no one has to do anything. If we do end up cancelling, DH and I can have a feast in bed instead!

I'm hosting lunch at my house for 25 then off to christening for my DC3 followed by a birthday party in playcentre for my DC1 and finally back to house for drinks and food all in one day (as family traveling from abroad). My DC3 will be around 4 weeks old and I'm definitely having a section. I've done most of the planning already and will be getting catered food delivered for the lunch, birthday cakes being made by local lady. I'm as uptight as they come but I can't wait. Definitely celebrate your birthday and a BBQ sounds great as you can keep people out of the house so you can get minute to yourself when you need it

@Inappropriateusername Hats off! You sound like superwoman. What an amazing day you have planned! Hope it goes brilliantly.

I hosted a party 2 weeks after my DD was born, it was supposed to be 4 weeks but she was late!

It was nice, although I was pretty much a zombie for the party (people kept asking if I was ok!) Definitely get people to bring a dish, minimise the amount of stuff you need to do/tidy up etc. I’d probably keep it relatively short too, but with it being your close friends and family they’ll help you out I’m sure.

Totally plan something. Good close friends are easy to cancel if you absolutely need to- and they will understand.

Just put no pressure on yourself to do anything other than setting the date.

Maybe use catering or costco or marks and spencer for everything. Then someone can just collect and set up. And a designated bbq person job done.

What about having it before baby is here? Obv you wouldn't want to drink much, but you might not anyway if you've only recently given birth.

We're having a housewarming the week our baby is due. I don't like baby showers but wanted to see friends before the baby arrived and we've just moved house so seemed like a good excuse! Fully prepared to cancel if baby is early!

I would go for it, then cancel if you need to. If it’s all close friends and family they will understand.
You might be feeling great with a calm sleepy baby you can stick in a sling while you enjoy yourself!

I would have been feeling bloody awful, bursting into tears and struggling with my angry angry newborn, but it’s a total lottery so may as well plan for the best!