First time mum advice

[Jay148]

Hi my GF is pregnant with our baby, I myself have to kids for a previous relationship, but this is my GF’s first pregnancy. She is really worried that she is doing things wrong and that she doesn’t have a clue what to do for herself and the baby. I was thinking that maybe I could get her some books to read but there are so many out there I don’t have a clue which ones to get? So I guess my question is do you know of some really good books for a first time mum that will explain what she and the baby are going through, throughout her pregnancy. Thank you

What to expect when you're expecting is good - the book. There's also a great book called The Positive Birth book.

Thank you so much I will have a look into them and get her one. What to expect when expecting has popped up in searches quite often but I wasn’t sure if it would be any good or not

Quite honestly the best book I found was made by the guys who do the car manuals and it goes from A-Z of everything and covers it all.

You get a lot of books about pregnancy but I would IMHO avoid celeb books as they can be pushy (I found).

If in Scotland we get a Ready STEADY baby book with our folders that's great advice too.

The NHS has a list of foods to avoid and it's down to common sense about things to avoid and risks not to take etc

Trying to remember the name of the author for that book - it begins with H and you will know them immediately if your a petrol head.

Apart from that, pregnancy is fun and hope very uneventuful!

Good luck

If she's very anxious though, reading lots of books might not help as there can be conflicting advice which can make anxiety worse. Do you have any mutual friends who've had babies recently who she can talk to, or family members? Antenatal classes are also helpful of course.

What to expect is good because it's methodical and not too preachy about different approaches to things.

Haynes!!
That drove me nuts lol

There is also a Toddler and Teenager one - I found mine in a baby sale and I honestly loved it.

She is very anxious about it but no matter how much I tell her that she is doing great and everything is going to be okay she still doubts herself. She is also worried as her sister miscarried and she is worried the same will happen to us. She is only 6 weeks at the minute so we haven’t told anyone yet and we have our first midwife appointment on Thursday so I am hoping she will feel a bit better after that. She does want to go to antenatal classes when they come round. Also she is having what she explains as period pains which is really worrying her as well but I think this can be normal can’t it?

Period type pains are normal and common yes only indication of a problem at this point is pain that makes her hold her breath and stop her day to day routine or a bleed x
Books personally made me more anxious as I felt I'd always missed something ! First time mum she's always going to worry !!! Just keep reminding her and maybe show her what to and what not to eat online xxx

Or ask her if she thinks that the books would be beneficial to her x

I had period like pains right up until about 16 weeks. It can be due to the uterus stretching. It’s normal and very common! What I would say to her though is at any point she feels she wants something checked then call the midwives/antenatal clinic for guidence/reassurance. They are always on hand. As well as books how about getting her a nice massage to relax? If she likes that sort of thing you can get pregnancy ones after you are 12 weeks :).

www.amazon.co.uk/Day-Day-Pregnancy-Book-Comprehensive/dp/1405332107?tag=mumsnetforum-21

A friend lent me the above book, page to read each day of what's happening at that time, and other general pregnancy information. Not too overwhelming, and I really liked it.
What to expect when expecting is also good, but completely different - good reference book for concerns/questions as she goes along.
I think it's a really nice idea, and hopefully will stop her feeling as anxious as Google might!

That’s what I thought about the period type pains that she is having, she says that they are the same as the pains she gets when she is about to start her period, so nothing to severe. I try to steer her away from google as I know what it can be like when you are looking for answers like period pain in pregnancy etc! I feel a book may help her a fair bit as she likes to read anyway plus she is so excited about being pregnant which is what I think is causing her to be so anxious

The first holly Willoughby one is great, I read it while pregnant and it gives different opinions and options on parenting without pushing a particular agenda

1/4 women will have a miscarriage in her life time so it is genuinely concern to have.

Would you consider doing an NCT course?

If it makes you feel any better, I'm a first timer and my other half has a daughter already. I'm terrified of miscarriage, things going wrong etc etc. What I think a lovely lovely surprise would be? Book an early scan for 7 weeks to calm her nerves a little. You can see a heartbeat at this stage (they just don't do scans this early on NHS as it would be too expensive!). Mine only cost £50 and I'm heading there on 26th March 🙂 (unless she's already booked past the 12 week mark - in which case congrats!)

Best book I have 'How to grow a baby and push it out' - fab!

I think NCT have Bumps & Babies groups she can go to, where she can socialise with other pregnant women. Some will already have children and so can answer questions she may have. I did an aquanatal class where I made some friends. It's like water aerobics specifically designed to strengthen the muscles you need for childbirth and you don't have to be able to swim. There are a few other classes like pregnancy yoga. Getting a group of friends together during pregnancy who will have babies the same age can be a great support network.

Aquanatal and pregnancy yoga classes v good idea. I couldn't do it cos of work but I'm sure it would have helped with my anxiety.

Does she have the pregnancy+ app?

It's fab, tracks your pregnancy, gives timelines and loads of useful advice via a daily blog tailored to your stage in pregnancy.

Congrats to you and your girlfriend x

How to grow a baby and push it out and the positive birth book.

Also look to see if there are any Triple P for baby classes in your area, greatly helped me much more than antenatal classes.