Concerned about the age gap...

[Mummy081212]

Hey - I’ve very recently found out I’m expecting Baby#2 after 14 months of TTC. I’m concerned about how we will cope with the age gap between our children. Our son will be 5 years 10 months when our baby is born. Does anyone have a similar age gap and can share some stories with me? x

Me! My bro is almost 6 years older than me. We're best buds. There haven been times I wished we had a smaller gap but it's not awful.

Mine have five years and it’s perfect . Older one is able to dress himself etc while I look after little one, and she gets lots of time while he’s at school, like he did with me at same age. They adore each other, and also fight! I have friends who are older/ younger than their siblings by as much as 8 years and as adults they are very close. I think it’s a great gap - gives each child space and time to be themselves but also gives them a playmate

My boys have nearly 5 years and love each other to bits. It’s a great age gap and nice as my youngest gets to go to toddlers etc whilst my oldest is in school and have nice mummy one to one time.

Thanks for the reassurance. My little boy is an absolute superstar - he’s very independent and is loving being at school. He often talks about wanting a baby brother or sister but I just hope we haven’t waited too long. We wanted a smaller gap but unfortunately nature didn’t want that. I’m hoping he will relish being a big brother and helping out x

The gap between mine is 5 years. They hate each other or love each other to death depending on the day, or the minute of the day. But I’m guessing that it’s probably the same as with any other age gap....!

My DS is due in June, and there will be 7 and a half years between him and my DD! I'm not too worried about the huge age gap; if anything it makes things easier, as they can help out a lot more when they are older!

Congrats OP! I'm sure it will all be fine.

I think 5 years is a great age gap.
The best age gap is either 1 year or 5/6 years. There is 14 months between my and my brother and i remember mum saying although the first few months were very hard going we then entertained each other because we were so close so it was almost like just having 1. My youngest brother was 5 years later, mum said he felt a bit more like an only child because we were at school and obviously at a different stage of development but it was great because we were pretty self sufficient so she had plenty time for the baby. We're now all best of friends and the age gap has no impact.
I think 2/3 year age gap would be really difficult when you have a toddler into everything plus pregnant/new born.

My DC2 is due in June and it’ll be a 5.5 year age gap - by choice in our case! It is what it is. I wasn’t ready to do it again before now so it’s right for our family. I think a lot of people get hung up on the ‘ideal’ gap and go for 2/3 years as a standard. Wouldn’t have worked for us. I’m happy and looking forward to my big boy stepping up and being a fab big bro. Also I don’t think you can predict what a sibling relationship will be like based on the gap - there are 3 years between me and my brother but we weren’t close when we were little, just due to personality really. He always preferred his own company and found me annoying I think!

There's 5 years between me and my brother. We get on really well now. Bit of a rough patch when I was a moody, hormonal 13 year old and he was 8 and still wanted to play games with his big sister, but otherwise no problems!

I was old enough to be able to help get nappies for my Mum, "help" her bath and change him, felt so grown up and loved him to bits. I wouldn't worry :) good luck with your pregnancy and new baby xx

It's still early days for us but we have a 5 year age gap. Personally, I think it's wonderful. For us, it was very much planned. I wanted my first in school and a bit older before we had number 2. She's been able to understand what was happening and be really helpful. She's independent and able to do things for herself, like get a snack, tidy up after herself, go entertain herself while we are busy with baby. She also has her own life as well. She has her friends at school and genuinely enjoys having a life away from us and a bit of a break (from sitting around in front of the tv with a baby all day, which is what we've been doing these first few weeks). It also means we only ever had one in nursery at a time and they'll be spread out enough that it will be the same in secondary school, university, etc. so we can focus on her before he gets to that stage, including financially. I think it's a perfect age gap, but obviously for us, it was very much planned that way. I don't know how people cope with like 18 months to 2 years between them now that I've done it.

There's an (unplanned) 6 year age gap between DS1 and DD1, they play together fine, not best of friends or anything. DS1 actually plays a lot more with DS2 who he is 7.5 yrs older than. I think he just prefers rough and tumble play, and the two boys love to chase each other and wrestle, even at 9 and 18 months. DD is also a very different personality, if DS1 tried to wrestle her she'd throw a tantrum rather than laugh.

I have 5 and half yrs between my two and they have always got on extremely well. They are best buddit's. My daughter is 15 and my son is 10. I am pregnantes with my 3rd so even bigger gap now.

I think your gap sounds lovely. Your DS will be settled into school, independent with dressing, eating and walking down the street sensibly. He will be a cracking big brother as the gap is big enough for him not to be too jealous.