Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

Original poster

Would you see a midwife you know?

18 replies

Squeakyheart · 28/02/2018 22:44

Just found out that the midwife that covers my surgery is someone I know vaguely through her husband. It's for antenatal stuff so no internals etc but having miscarried my last one I'm anxious about this one and not sure how I feel about her seeing me like that. (Assuming I make it that far this time!) The alternative is to drive a further 30 minutes away. Would you be comfortable? I rarely see her socially and my friend says she's a great midwife but still feel weird about it

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

sunshinestorm · 28/02/2018 22:47

Yes I'd probably feel uncomfortable, but I think it wouldn't bother plenty of women so it's a very personal decision!

Thelampshadelady · 28/02/2018 22:48

I personally wouldn’t want to see someone I know. I’ve asked my mw personal things (bleeding etc) and wouldn’t feel comfortable if I knew her outside of those appointments.

Thistlebelle · 28/02/2018 22:48

Well I’ve had a smear test from someone I know socially so a midwife wouldn’t bother me.

I’m sure she will be completely professional and discreet.

30 mins is a lot further to drive.

BananaHarvest · 28/02/2018 22:50

My third was delivered by two midwives I knew quite well. One had a child in my child’s class and the other went to the same church. I was umming about asking for someone else but things moved on. It was actually lovely, there was instant acknowledgement and a relationship already. I trusted them completely and when in advanced labour it was really nice to be known personally.

AppleKatie · 28/02/2018 22:54

I don’t think I’d mind in your situation OP.
I did baulk at the idea of seeing one of my pupils mothers when I was in labour (she worked at my hospital but fortunately was nowhere to be seen when I was actually giving birth)... I don’t think I could have coped with parents evening after that

fia101 · 28/02/2018 22:57

If I had a choice I wouldn't want to know the mw. One less thing to worry about and them seeing personal details in my file.

GuntyMcGee · 28/02/2018 23:03

I'm a Mw who has cared for people I know and I can assure you that your MW, whether you know them previously or not will adhere to strict confidentiality rules, will have heard embarrassing or unusual questions a million times over and will not remember or even bat an eyelid over what you look like underneath your clothes.
From my perspective, it's lovely to care for someone that I have known pre pregnancy, but I also don't get offended if those I know access care from others - it's about them being comfortable and happy with who cares for them.

Of course, if it makes you feel uncomfortable then there's no issue in you seeing someone else, but it may mean you travelling elsewhere. You have every right to seek another midwife if that will make you feel happy.

Pickledgerkingsareathing · 01/03/2018 10:05

Midwife rules - she shouldn't see you if she knows you outside of work

Pickledgerkingsareathing · 01/03/2018 10:06

My mother in law is a midwife
She wouldn't look after me obviously
But a few of my friends are pregnant
And she may of met them maybe twice
And can't see them .
Xx

Rockandrollwithit · 01/03/2018 10:08

DH and I are both teachers. When I went into labour one of the midwives who helped deliver DS was the Mum of a child DH taught.

It wasn't an issue as she was so professional. I'm sure your situation will be the same.

Original poster

Squeakyheart · 01/03/2018 19:58

Thank you for your replies I have managed to get in with a different one closer to work so that's one less thing for me to stress about!

OP posts:

Didntcomeheretofuckspiders · 02/03/2018 06:27

Pickle that isn’t in The Code.

MrsJoshDun · 02/03/2018 06:47

Midwife rules - she shouldn't see you if she knows you outside of work

Totally not true.

I live in a small city and wouldn’t be able to look after half the women I do if I couldn’t look after people that I vaguely knew. I delivered (by chance) a good friends baby. Just happened to be on shift when she came in......did offer her a midwife swap but she said no.

OP, it’s up to you but midwives are used to seeing women with anxiety, previous problems, any problems in pregnancy they will have seen it all before.

Bigzzzzzzz · 02/03/2018 06:58

A midwife who was in my year at school and still a friend of a friend, delivered Dc3- I was mortified to begin with but she wasn’t phased, and I soon got over it once I became more distracted 😬

TeaAndPjs · 02/03/2018 07:05

Wouldn't bother me as I'd expect them to be professional in the circumstances.

When in labour with my youngest, there was a problem and quite a few mw had came in to assist, after I popped him out 1 looked at me and was like oh I know you, have I seen you up here recently? Turned out it wad a client from the salon that I didn't know overly well at the time. So she's now sister at the hosp I'm going to on sat to be Induced and another 2 well known clients work there too lol they may see a lot more of me than they ever planned to!!

sunshinestorm · 02/03/2018 10:19

I suppose a benefit would be the fact you would be seen as a human rather than another number and maybe taken more seriously

RosieCotton · 02/03/2018 10:45

I had no issues about it. My auntie is midwife on my local labour ward. I had no issues her doing my checks with bleeds and reduced movements. Only time she had felt she had to excuse herself was when everything went wrong after delivery. I'd rather see her than have to drive an extra 30 mins

Mummyme87 · 02/03/2018 16:28

I had my two DS in the hospital I work at, all care by friends and colleagues. Wouldn’t do anything else.

Flip