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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Boss who bullies me because of pregnancy

23 replies

Aw12345 · 28/02/2018 19:16

Just need some moral support because I have a boss (male) who has suddenly started being shockingly horrible to me about my pregnancy. I can't leave because of SML and need the money :-(

He says he thinks I'm rubbish at my job now I'm pregnant, that no one else likes me now I'm pregnant, that I'm useless to the business (I make them the same amount of money), that he knows I'm trapped there financially so he can treat me how he likes, that I'm using maternity leave discussions to 'threaten' and 'undermine' the business, that I should get out his way now I'm pregnant, that I use the pregnancy as an excuse not to work (refering to me being in the toilet vomiting) etc etc.

It's really bringing me down and I'm so trapped for another 5 months 😥😥😥

OP posts:

LittleBitOfStrange · 28/02/2018 19:20

What a total 🤬 does your company have a HR dept?

Twitchett22 · 28/02/2018 19:20

Take it higher! Pregnant or not you shouldn't have to put up with that!

Original poster

Aw12345 · 28/02/2018 19:24

Do have HR and they are BRILLIANT, have helped me so much and they know what he's like but don't want them to think I'm difficult staff member/awkward/a drama queen because I really want them to want me back part time after mat leave :-(

OP posts:

NameChange30 · 28/02/2018 19:26

Are these all things he has said to you verbally? One-to-one or with another person present or in earshot? Has he sent you any emails on the subject?

This is pregnancy discrimination and it’s illegal. I suggest you call Maternity Action and maybe ask your local Citizens Advice for any solicitors that could help. I suggest you get intital advice and then start gathering evidence to make your case. Write down the date, time, location and everything he says word for word.

See if you can find out whether the evidence would be admissible if you recorded him secretly.

NapQueen · 28/02/2018 19:27

Tbh Id be on HRs back as much as I could manage. Failing them acting a GP will put you onto pregnancy related leave if it causes extreme and unecessary stress to you during pregnancy.

NameChange30 · 28/02/2018 19:29

www.maternityaction.org.uk/advice-2/mums-dads-scenarios/pregnant/pregnancy-discrimination/

Original poster

Aw12345 · 28/02/2018 19:32

He's said them all verbally... Sometimes in front of other people and sometimes one-to-one when I tried to have a nice chat to him about it (to tell him that it's making me really down).

I'll start recording it, dates/times etc. Thanks for the tip :-)

My actual job I really love but he is a massive bully. Doesn't like women being "in the workplace" etc

Men have very easy lives!!

OP posts:

jcsc · 28/02/2018 19:34

Definitely get back on to HR asap and say you want it dealt with.
What an absolute arsehole and if he says these things to you out of ear shot tell him to fuck right off, grow up and to stop being such a dick!!

WhatAPowerfulPerm · 28/02/2018 19:38

WHAT an absolute piece of shit. I’m raging for you. AnotherEmma’s advice sounds sensible.

Is he generally unpleasant to everyone or is it just you because you’re pregnant? congrats BTW!

Original poster

Aw12345 · 28/02/2018 19:38

Thanks jcsc... Made my chuckle :-) (makes above break from crying about it!)

:-) x

OP posts:

Original poster

Aw12345 · 28/02/2018 19:42

He is generally unpleasant to everyone but he is definitely worst to me because of pregnancy... He's always been a bit blunt but NEVER anything like this. He had a day off this week and everyone at work said I seemed much more relaxed ... They know how badly he treats me.

I don't see why you shouldn't be able to change job for SMP given that it's paid for by the government anyway?!?!

OP posts:

mumonashoestring · 28/02/2018 19:48

Believe me, sometimes in these situations HR strongly suspect someone is being a shit to their staff and are just waiting for someone to confirm it/ make a formal complaint. Make sure you document everything, you are protected in law from discrimination, unfavourable treatment of harassment because you're pregnant (or a woman for that matter). If you don't feel ready to talk to HR yet (but please do!) then talk to ACAS:
www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=5271

TheCatsMother44 · 28/02/2018 19:52

What??!!! Is he determined to have the company sued? If your HR dept don't deal with him asap then they're stupid as you could go after them for discrimination or constructive dismissal, surely?

That's appalling.

spugzbunny · 28/02/2018 19:58

I'd tell HR you were thinking of contacting a solicitor and keep a record of all the incidents. I'll be honest, from what you have said I think he could get sacked off that already. HR have a duty of care to you and if they don't meet it by discussing his behaviour with him and disciplining where required then you can potentially start talking constructive dismissal which usually comes with a nice fat pay out

LauraO1905 · 28/02/2018 19:59

Absolutely disgraceful and illegal.

Write as much down from memory as possibly and tbh, if I were you, I'd start recording on my phone and take it straight to HR. If this were my workplace he'd be sacked for that. If HR don't deal with it then take them to court. If you have evidence I have no doubt you'd win.

Absolutely disgusting.

NameChange30 · 28/02/2018 20:05

A few people have mentioned constructive dismissal but that’s a difficult case to prove and win, and it’s not necessary anyway.

This is a straightforward case of discrimination. I would suggest making a complaint to HR, including documentation of all the incidents (as I said, date and time, what he said, and name(s) of witness(es) present, if any. HR should take disciplinary action against him. If they don’t you should seek legal advice and notify HR that you are doing so. They should and will know that this is illegal discrimination.

mumonashoestring · 28/02/2018 20:08

you can potentially start talking constructive dismissal which usually comes with a nice fat pay out

Actually there's an upper cap on constructive/unfair dismissal payouts - compensation for discrimination tribunals is uncapped, therefore potentially higher. Another reason it's important to talk to a body such as ACAS if you're in any doubts about your rights and protections at work.

strawberrysparkle · 28/02/2018 20:10

Start keeping a record with times and dates, this is really really important.

Look at maternity action, pregnant then screwed and ACAS and raise a formal grievance about this. This is unacceptable and it should not be happening.

I have experience of this and I'm happy for you to PM me for support with the grievance or just in general.

Original poster

Aw12345 · 28/02/2018 20:17

Thanks so much for all messages, it's just so nice to have ladies who know what they're talking about with HR stuff and also give encouragement. I'll follow all the advice, will keep a record from now on and can definitely remember most of the times he said all the other stuff.

I'm glad we have some protection legally because it is making my life very miserable. I think about it pretty much all the time and it's getting me down so much :-(

OP posts:

WineAndTiramisu · 28/02/2018 21:05

www.spyequipmentuk.co.uk/executive-voice-recorder-spy-pen

There are much cheaper ones available though, but something similar. Record everything!

misshannah · 01/03/2018 08:28

Sorry to hear you've a bad manager. Keep on at HR and seek advice from ACAs? Also, take a look at the work by pregnantthenscrewed.com

CL1982 · 01/03/2018 10:10

Oh my god this is 100% illegal OP. Also remember they HAVE to offer you a job when you go back by the way that is the same or comparable to your old job- so I wouldn't worry about complaining. I'd personally gather evidence then push for an official complaint with HR. Definitely speak to a lawyer or someone as Acas for some advice.

I take this personally for every woman. How dare men think they can be this illegal, unfair and rude to a woman because she chooses to have kids and also HAS A VAGINA.

These men need to be named, shamed and put back in the dinosaur box on a dusty shelf never to emerge again.

Much love and good luck with a resolution.

hannknitted · 01/03/2018 12:40

I'm a HR Advisor and echo what has been said previously - keep a record of what's said when (if you've got any written evidence or people who can testify they've witnessed it, even better) and submit a formal grievance to HR - they will have no choice but to deal with it.

As others have said, the company is at risk of you taking them to an employment tribunal for constructive dismissal / harassment and discrimination - what he is doing is most definitely illegal and if you went to a solicitor you would have a case.

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