What is the ideal age gap between your 1st and 2nd?

[Lightbulbs]

I know you can't always plan these things... but what do you think is the ideal age gap and why?

It depends a lot on your individual circumstances. Also there are advantages and disadvantages of any gap. There's almost exactly 2 years between my 2.
Advantages are getting the baby stage out of the way, can be entertained by the same things, a close relationship.
Disadvantages are a baby and a toddler is hard work and 2 sets of nursery fees at the same time.
It ultimately came down to age for me, I'm 37 so really just needed to get on with it.

I went for 3 and a half.

It meant only one in full time childcare.
I was on maternity leave the year DD1 started nursery so could do lots of school runs when she was starting school.
Then I went back to work when DD1 started reception - it was a very expensive month as they staggered the entry and I did pay for 2 at the childminder. Glad I wasn't paying that bill permanently!

DD1 will be doing her A levels before DD2 does her GCSEs so only one lot of exam stress at a time - a colleague had her DDs with one doing GCSEs while one was doing A levels and said it was hell!

Also, in a year or so, it will mean that one will have left university before the 2nd one starts so I won't have 2 to be supporting at the same time.

I had 21 months. 1st was still little. I got another year with him before preschool. He still napped. He didn't remember life before his sister. They enjoy all the same things now aged 4 and 2.

2/3 years.

I missed the boat as DS didn't sleep properly until 5 years old. We were too exhausted to think about a sibling.

DH and I agreed the gap (for us - maybe not for others) was too big by that point.

Just shy of 18 months. It was THE BEST. Just full of these two tiny lovely people who never really knew life without each other. They are into all the same things and everything felt easy.

My gap between #2 and #3 is 2.5years and feels too long tbh.

Between 1and 2 we have 2.5 years but started trying when baby was 1. It was still hard. Between 2 and 3 there will be 6 years. I'm really excited this time

Just about 3 years between mine (although I went and stuffed up the school year difference, so that eldest went to school as the youngest, and youngest went to school as the eldest - ie. 11 months later than he could have)

I think it's a good gap - childcare available by the time the new baby was here, I was recovered, I could explain to DS1 what was going on, so he wasn't scared or confused by it all, but they're still close enough to play together.

Completely depends on your individual circumstances.

How long you need to recover (physically and psychologically) from your first birth.
Whether you can afford to have two in childcare or are willing/able for a parent to SAH.
Whether or not your DC1 sleeps well.

Whether you want to get the baby years 'out of the way', for example to minimise a career break.
Parental age and potentially declining fertility.

Due a combination of the first three of these I have a five year gap and no regrets at all. Many people favour smaller gaps and I know that that works for them but it wasn't right for my family.

I think about 2 years which is what is between my eldest two, big enough gap for them to be at different levels and have the big sister and little brother relationship but a close enough gap for them to still get on and one not be too far ahead the other.
Theres only 11 months between my little two and although the close age gap maybe has helped DD(3) progress quicker, I can definately notice that DS(4) has been held back a bit. They sort of blend into twins and there isnt any room for DS to be the big brother.
Though actually theres 7 years between my eldest and youngest and that has advantages too.

When DC2 is born DD will be nearly 4 and a half. DC2 is due in July, she's starting school in September. I'm hoping she'll have enough time to get used to the baby and not think we're shipping her off! But I think it'll be a good gap because I'll have less stress in the daytime when she is at school, and she'll be old enough to entertain herself for a few minutes whilst I do essential baby stuff. She's quite sensible and grown up, just keeping my fingers crossed that she doesn't regress!

We will have a gap of 3 years 2 months. I always wanted a bigger gap than 2 years, because to me I felt like I wouldn't have coped with a baby and a toddler who couldn't really communicate etc. yet. I'm so glad we waited for the 3 year gap - DD1 is now potty training really well so will hopefully be well out of nappies by June, DD1 also starting pre-school in September so she will have something that is for herself, and selfishly means I will have one-on-one time with DD2 at home during school hours!

We also thought more practically about childcare costs etc. and as I want to continue working, we knew we wouldn't be able to afford another child until DD1 got her funded hours. Now it means we won't have to pay for 2 in full time childcare! 3 years also feels a big enough gap for the mentioned reasons, but still just about small enough for them to play together (eventually!).

As with most things, always pro's and cons with any age gap. Small age gaps talked about above so I will just add that I have 7 years between dd1 and dd2 and have discovered some lovely things about this too - they don't compete for my time or attention and rarely squabble about anything. They are extremely protective of each other and have their own little sayings between them about 'sisters'. The gap is obvious at the moment but I figure later on it will be less noticeable and I am hoping that they will remain good friends. There will be 4.5 years between dd2 and dd3 if all goes to plan. Personally, although I will be doing the school run 'forever' with these age gaps, I think I would have struggled a bit had I had my children closer in age. Also, my brother is 18 months younger than me and we used to argue and fight over things a lot...we're not particularly close now but that is probably more down to personality than anything else. I'm not sure there is an 'ideal' age gap as such...it is more down to individual circumstances.

Due to a mc in between there will be 26 months between my 2. I would have preferred a longer gap of 4/5 years just because I would have loved to spend more alone time with my son. But I will be 35 when second is born and we want to have more children so time isn’t on my side sadly.