Has anyone had a home birth with their toddler around?

[PregnantGrrrl]

I've got a while to go, but i didn't get my home birth last time (horrible midwife came out, we went to the birthing unit instead) and i would like one this time. DS will be 16mths though

I'd like as little disruption as possible for him, to make the addition of a brother/sister as smooth as possible, so i'd like to keep him in his own surroundings.

If i ask step MIL and FIL to mind him, she'll nag to keep him overnight, and will also be nosing round after new baby is born, when i'd like no visitors for a day or two. But, i want DP with me, rather than chasing DS.

What to do?! The birthing unit was great last time in fairness, but i want to stay home.

ds1 was almost my birth partner when ds2 came along.

An unplanned HB, with the paramedics arriving 15 minutes before he popped out. DS1 was standing atthe foot of my bed when DH got back from getting my mum, he was just 2, so whether he saw much we'll never know because he couldn't articulate it even if he tried.

When ds3 was born Ds1+2 slept through it all.

I had HB for DS2 when DS1 was 19mths.

He just stayed downstairs and watched telly with a friend of ours while DH, midwife and I were upstairs.

To be fair I was only gone about an hour and a half!!

He was completely underwhelmed by the new baby brother when DH brought him up.....I think he was quite happy in front of the telly!

Just from a different perspective, I was almost three when my brother was born at home and it's my earliest memory - although not of him actually being born, but how cross I was that I wasn't allowed in the room at the final moment (apparently there were too many midwives and the room was full). I saw him straight away though and refused to kiss him until he had had a bath. Think I was with my mum through most of her labour, although my grandma was there to help (would imagine you really need someone other than dp/dh there), and it didn't really bother me at the time and certainly hasn't scarred me for life! Hope all goes well for you.

thanks for that fearscape, really good to hear it from your perspective, esp as my lo was around this age when his sister was born at home.

I went into labour in the early evening at homne (waters broke at 7pm , contractions started at 7.45 and my DD was born at 8.30pm). My toddler was tucked in to bed by my DH before he attended to me.. (my mum and mil waiting downstairs, my mum having just arrived and my MIL about to leave...) We then brought my DS in the next morning into our bedroom and let him find his sister in the cot... we had it all on video and it is so lovely! I was in bed and he took my hand and led me to the cot to show me the "baby" who was snuffling away.