OH might not be at birth...

[heatherxo]

My second birthing partner is my niece. I now feel like I don't even want her to come because he won't be there.
She's so excited to be able to experience this with me, and now I feel horrible for thinking that I'd rather do it alone than without my OH.
Would it be awful of me to break her heart and tell her I don't want her there..
Has anyone else ever birthed alone?

Ah sorry 😂 baby brain!

I have 10 weeks till due date, so I have time to think about what I want to do. But I think I'd rather just go alone. If it comes to it, then I just won't contact her and tell her it was so quick..

I understand if you don't think she'll be a good birth partner to not have her there and totally reasonable.

The reason of betraying your dp is silly though, if he cared for you and loved you and the baby he would want you supported at that time over and above any other feelings of wanting to be the one that is there or the only one to see you in Labour

Please don't go without a birthing partner because of the feelings of someone else, it's your time to think what's going to be best for you and make your life nicer. I know I could have done it on my own easily but it's handy to have someone there

I was meant to be doing it alone for my third for many unavoidable reasons. I insisted I didn't want anyone there as DP couldn't make it. It was my third so I knew what I was doing and I just didn't feel right with him missing it.

Then whilst in labour it all went horribly wrong. I called my mum in tears whilst shaking due to the shock and fear of what was going on. Crying as I was no longer in control, and I couldn't understand what they were saying, all I could hear was beeping and all I could see was blood.

30 seconds into the phone call my mum comes charging in. That damn crazy woman was waiting outside in case I changed my mind. She held my shaking hands and talked me through what a cord prolapse was and that I was being taken for an emergency c section. And then held my baby next to my face, putting his tiny hand on my face whilst I was fading in and out of consciousness.

Jeez that will gets me emotional. Have someone close, just in case.

You're not putting a play for someone's entertainment. I don't think she sounds like a suitable birthing partner at all. Just tell her you've changed her mind and let her deal with her disappointment. You have more important things to do at the moment than pacify a sulky teenager.

@lils888 that's had me in tears (major preggo hormones!) - what a wonderful mum you have!

My DH also has a hospital/medical phobia and though he is going to be at the birth, my mum is my main birth partner as I don't want to rely on him for either of our sakes.

OP have who you want there. Your OH would want that for you. Put your own feelings first and your niece will understand.

I did for my second. I loved it! So much easier and less stressful I found. I used a position I wouldn't have done if someone else had been there.

Don't worry about hurting someone's feelings. Do what's right for you.

Ps my exdp was in the waiting room. Could your niece be on standby there incase you need her? Also as the baby watcher for when you have your first bath?

@harrietm87 she is a good mum looking back. Before that I would have been on here asking AIBU or is my mum a total lunatic for stalking me

I had my DS alone as he came really quickly (less than 2 hours) and my parents and partner missed it all! It was ok, would have been nice to have someone there but the midwives were lovely and it went smoothly with no issues.