When did you tell your kids?

[bitzy12]

Had 12 week scan today, all fine and am actually a few days ahead on what I thought which is always nice....I've had some problems at the start of pregnancy and this is my 4th scan

I messaged my mum to tell her everything was fine and that I was planning on telling my 2 dcs (aged 9 and 6) when they come in from school but she was dead against it. She said wait until 16 weeks at least

I know it's my decision but when did you tell them? I can see she has a point waiting abit longer but I had it all planned to tell them today x

They are your children and the more time they have to come round to it the better ! But also it may prolong the 'when's the baby coming ' 'how long left ' ' why isn't the baby here yet' etc it's your choice completely and if you want to tell them today then tell them today :) ❤️ congratulations btw :) x

My children are of a similar age (7 &9 and I also have an 11 year old) to yours and We decided to tell them just after our 12 week scan. It also fitted in nicely with us being on holiday.

As soon as I took a test. I also told them things can and do go wrong so they were prepared for that. I didn’t see the point in sugar coating it, luckily everything is fine though and they’ve enjoyed the whole journey with us

I just told my 3 year old after week scan. Older children would notice earlier though. It’s going to be a long time for my DS and I could have waited longer really.

20 week scan that is...

My two arweeks 15 and 10. I told them soon after I found out. As new I get ill in pregnancy and didn't want them worrying.

Mine other two are 3 & 6 and i told them at 13 weeks.

I told my children at 16 weeks after I'd had a private scan. That way I told them they were having a little sister.

As soon as I tested - had 3yr old twins who were quite full on, very used to launching themselves at me plus wanted them to understand why I was tired / head down loo (that it was nothing to worry about and it was just the baby kicking up a fuss )

Wasn’t an issue for me, as I conceived DD2 when DD1 was 7 months old! She was 16 months when DD2 arrived, so a bit young for explanations! Although she was thrilled to move into her “big girl’s bed” to free up the cot for her new sister.

I found out I was pregnant on my DD’s 4th birthday. I tested in the house on my own while she was out with her dad. I didn’t tell him when they came back, as we had a houseful of guests. He left before the end of the party to go to work. No one knew about the pregnancy but me.

Later that day I took the DCs to the park. Her younger DD was 9 months old.
I was pushing the buggy while DD1 chattered away at my side. She said “oh someone’s got a baby in their tummy,” then STOPPED DEAD, looked at me, gasped, and whispered, “ooh mummy, it’s you! Did you know?!”

My DS guessed but then again he's 12 and clued up.
Wed found out the Friday and he guessed by the Sunday so at about 4-5 weeks.
He knew it was very much on the cards and hopefully would happen anyway

Told DS1 at 4 weeks. Told DS1 and DD at 4 weeks. Soon as test said yes, but my head was down the toilet before that.

HG and SPD means told them ASAP so they could understand.

Was a long wait for them though, but lovely they were there from the beginning (well, not right at the beginning!)

They were there at the end for DS2 as he was a home birth.

Good luck OP! Glad scan was good.

I have my 12 week scan today and if all is well, I'll be telling mine tonight! They've pretty much guessed as seem to be really showing this time already and can't keep passing it off as food

For the record, we lost a baby after the 12 week scan last year, and part of me is obviously terrified it'll happen again. However we've decided we don't want to have to keep it to ourselves/not feel like we can enjoy it because of what happened last time, and don't want to tell others before dc know so have decided to go for the standard 12 weeks still and pray all goes well this time! I've bought them both Thornton's chocolate heart plaques with big brother and big sister written on them

Thinking back I told dc1 pretty quickly (about dc2). Then after dc2 was born, I had a late loss at around 20 weeks...I am currently pregnant again 35+6 and held off telling my dcs until as late as possible - I think I was around 16 weeks because I was trying to formulate in my mind how I was going to cope with another loss and seeing my eldest dc (11) through this also. She was 9 when we had our late loss and it was a difficult time because I was trying to cope with my grief and hers. I think the type of child she is, she would have worried for me right from the start and she had just started secondary school so I didn't want her settling in period affected by it. I told dd when it became a necessity and had a good sized bump (concealed it well with clothing etc.) Fia, I am sorry to hear about your loss...you have a really positive attitude but I'm afraid for me, nothing has been psychologically easy about this pregnancy...and I have kept it low key all along...we all deal with things differently I guess.

My daughters are 13 and 6 and will be telling them next week when we have our 12 week scan. Got them cards made,saying "your going to be a big sister" gonna put a scan pic in each of them. Been a long 8 weeks xx

Mushroom , that's incredible! I love stories like that! My little dd was making comments about me having another baby but I think it might have just been wishful thinking rather than a sixth sense!

Told ours after the 12 week scan.

I didn't tell DS until after 20 week scan when pg with ds2, he was only 4 at the time and I didn't want to be bugged constantly with questions about when the baby was coming. We figured keeping it quiet until then and him being able to be told he was having a little brother or sister might help him with it all. As it was I needed a further scan at 23 weeks and he was able to come to it which was really special as he had only known for a week or so at that point.

I would wait

Told dd at 14 weeks

At 16 week scan

Couldn't find heartbeat so was referred.

Dd was devastated and I wish we'd waited.

It also depends if you are telling family and friends - at this age they'll easily pick up clues, or have a visitor blurt out 'are you looking forward to your new brother/sister?' and I'd want to make sure they hear from me and not feel left out.
I am pregnant with #4 and we told our DCs after the 12 week scan for this reason.

We told ours at 12 weeks, DC was 5 so we got lot of questions along the way of is it this week? is it this month? when is the baby going to be born? but I think it really helped dc prepare for a sibling and look forward to it.

We told DSD when I was 11 weeks - earlier than I wanted to, but I was huge already, and was worried that she would hear it from her cousins (who had heard their parents talking about it) rather than us.

Luckily all was fine at the scan, but I did worry that week!

Worth remembering that the later you tell them the less time they have to wait too DSD is only 5 and I think she feels like she's waited aaaages for the baby! And still 8 weeks left.

I think it depends on your kids, you know them and how they will react. If you think you can tell them and explain that nothing is ever certain then you could go ahead. If you think they are quite fragile and might not be able to handle any bad news ( god forbid) then I would hold off.

I have two nieces and Im not telling them for a while purely because 9 months is a long time and I dont want to be dealing with " are we there yet!" hehe

After the 20 week scan with our last baby (who will be 4 years old in May).
We'd been through the heartache of a late in pregnancy loss several years ago now. We knew at the 20 week scan that our little girl had several compromising abnormalities and we did lose her at 26 weeks. DC2 was too young at the time to comprehend what was going on. But DC1... oh my heavens. He was devastated and I found it impossibly difficult to cope with my own grief as well as his. It's indescribable how difficult it was.
Sooo... when I was pregnant with our last child, I waited. And it was all good news. It was great to tell our kids about the pregnancy knowing that the probability of something terrible occurring again was slim to none.
Sorry about the bummer story.

We told 5 year old dd at about 24 weeks