Struggling

[LadyPug]

Hi all,

I just wanted to lose it here a little as have no support in rl. The situation is...

I’m self employed and working like crazy to have enough money to stop when dc2 arrives in a few months

I’m tired and big now in third trimester, body feels broken

Dd is well and truly in terrible twos and is tantruming constantly

I never see my dh and when I do he is also stressed and tired

I have poor support network. Not close to mother or mil and the latter actually puts me down re my mothering skills making me feel worse

I have a few close friends but they have no kids so have no idea what I’m on about and my mum friends basically gloss over it and pretend life is great whilst capturing it all on Instagram.

So really I feel broken and I’m crying most days. Anyone else? How the hell am I going to handle two?!

You’ll just manage! Sorry you feel this way, and it’s completely understandable. It’s always difficult when you’re pregnant, you’re uncomfortable but hormones are the bigger bastards here. Your child’s tantrums may feel like the end of the world (as does everything else) but it won’t affect him adversely and this won’t last forever. Also remember that a newborn and toddler is easier than a toddler and being massively pregnant.. because at least you can move easier.

Buy a sling! Life saver.

Ignore your MIL, most MILs feel left out and helpless and it usually comes across as being a gigantic twat-face.

You’re doing great, really. You’re making a post because you’re at the end of your tether, and that decision alone means you’re trying to find constructive alternative ways to manage or seek advice rather than just struggle on and spiral. But honestly - you’re doing great. It just feels maddening at times

I sympathise with being self employed and having little / no support network.

I decided to finish work at 32 weeks due to physicality of my job. Can I afford this ....no, but I decided that my health and sanity were more important. I might be living on beans on toast and my baby won't be receiving many new items but I'm not regretting my decision one bit. It'll be a huge struggle and I'll have to budget like never before but so far I definitely feel its worth it.

Is it possible for you to finish earlier or cut down your hours?

Your emotions will be all over the place at the moment. It might help to sit down and write a list of things that could help you feel less overwhelmed.
Is there anything DH can help with?

On a side note, maybe look at doing something for yourself. Is there a chance you could get an hour to yourself even if its just once a week for some relaxation yoga or a pregnancy massage? I've been listening to hypno-birthing audio on my phone which does help me to relax (and will hopefully be beneficial when giving birth too!!).

As for handing two children, you will do it! Pregnancy is really tough and toddlers aren't easy but you will get through it. Cry, let it all out, scream and shout, and then pick yourself up x

Thank you frantically actually think I might cry at your post (which is making me think it probably is hormones!!!) I hope you’re right that a newborn and toddler are easier than a toddler and pregnancy. I literally sat and cried on the kitchen floor today. Feel so shit about everything and a bit of a failure as a mother. Thank you for responding!

Thank you foreverhopeful some great advice there! We have just been talking about how I could take some time for myself after my spectacular meltdown this avo. I think even just a bath once a week would make me feel better.

I could theoretically finish work earlier except I’ve sold project space so customers so could be difficult. The main issue is that the money is for the future so I’m working more than usual to get enough money to cover maternity leave. I really want to have a maternity leave where I don’t have to worry about money (last time I only took a month as couldn’t afford to take the time off) so this time I want to be “normal”. Thank you for commenting and I know I’ll get through it, it just doesn’t feel like it!!!!