First time pregnancy and petrified!

[NikkiD11]

Hi everyone, I'm new here so please bear with me

So I've been with my partner for 4 months, we moved in together a month ago and found out yesterday that I'm expecting our first child together (his second)! It was a complete surprise and he's so excited (don't get me wrong, I am too) but as I've been lying here awake since 3am I can't stop this feeling of being completely and utterly terrified.

Everything is running through my mind - can we afford it? What will happen to our finances when I go on maternity leave? Will we get into mountains of debt? How will I cope as a mother? What if I don't get that 'maternal feeling', what will I do?

I know my hormones are going crazy right now so I'm trying not to read too much into it all...I guess I'm just after reassurance that I'm not the only person to feel this way?

Xxx

You aren't, but 4 months is still a very new relationship so while its normal to have initial anxieties about having a baby, I feel nervous for you reading that you've only been together for 17 weeks and lived together for 4 or 5. How well do you know each other? How old is his first kid? Does he see him or her a lot and pay maintenance? You'll be fine, you're more strong and resilient then you think and it may be toigh with finances for a bit, but you'll adapt to your earnings and will be able to continue working as soon as you can, with help from friends and family and childcare xx

We've known each other for about a year and a half but things were made 'official' a few months ago. I have no doubts that he will stand by me throughout everything, I guess it's my own concerns that are making me feel this way

He pays maintenance for his child and sees them when he can, but mum moved quite a distance away with them which makes everything difficult.

Thank you for your advice xx

@NikkiD11 - I'm in the exactly same boat as you.. I've been with my DP for 4 months and now 8 weeks pregnant! Luckily he will stand by me.. Completely unexpected situation!

@riaviolet I'm a strong believer that everything happens for a reason! I guess the initial finding out takes a while to sink in and it's still early days. Its brilliant that he's standing by you - good luck!

@NikkiD11 - Thank you.. My DP also pays CSA for his DS who is 9 years old and sees on a regular basis.. That arrangement is still ongoing and nothing will change..

I have the same worries about you with costs etc.. I've just brought a house so didn't factor all this in 😅

I'm currently 12w4d, own my own home, have a good job, live with DP who also has a good job and I have these panics all the time. And this isn't even my first time. I think it's completely normal!