Most helpful advice you wish to have been told during pregnancy

[SteliosMar93]

Hello,

I’m a student at Cardiff University doing research on motherhood. I’d like to ask you what is the most important advice you wish to had been told when you were pregnant?

Thanks!

Stock up on Gaviscon. Lots of it.

Seriously, i'm talking gallons.

That being pregnant was a complete doddle compared to having a baby!

That if bf baby feeds all the time, don't worry its normal (as long as filling nappies etc)

I was convinced DS couldn't be getting anything as he was never full. Got myself really worked up over nothing and then found he'd go up from 50 to 90 percentile in 10 days.

Thank you very much for everyone who has taken the time to respond.

I have 4 more questions. You can answer any of them or all of them if you want.

1. What did you find most surprising during your pregnancy?
2. What websites/magazines do you use for information and advice?
3. Do you use forums?
4. Do you feel like your situation is represented in these advice spaces?

Thank you :)

I found it shocking how much I hated it, all of it!

Most useful advice: do all the things you love now whilst you can (childfree restaurants, lounging around till midday in bed on a weekend watching tv).

1. How horrific it actually is. I never felt glowing. From week 5 I felt like a train wreck
2. I used babycentre quite a bit. I liked reading the week by week info
3. This one to some extent
4. Yes. I know more people who didn't enjoy pregnancy than did enjoy

Def the gaviscon! Here are a few more:

1. Every pregnancy is different for every woman. Don't beat yourself up if it's harder or easier than your friends or other people
2. Even if you're sailing through go on mat leave by 38 weeks! Don't delay it. You'll be knackered and stressed even if the going is easy.
3. Get a few babymoons to fun cities etc in when you can. It is so worth it.
4. Say no. Don't feel like you have to do everything.
5. If you think something is wrong GO IN. Don't be put off by someone saying 'I'm sure it's all fine' just go in, get checked and leave. Be pushy about this.

I was surprised how much I loved being pregnant, I really loved it.

That no advice in the world can prepare you what is ahead

1. I'm one of those lucky women who bloom in pregnancy so no real surprises other than the fact that people felt my body was public property to comment on/touch. I've since perfected a death stare so it's not happening that much this time around though.

1. I don't really.

1. Just this one.

1. Yep.

Most important advice I wasn't given when pregnant with ds - if you're planning on breastfeeding have nipple cream... lots of nipple cream. Also once baby is here, get out and about as much as possible.

Take plenty of iron before you get so anaemic that even getting dressed feels like an epic task.
Do everything possible to avoid diastasis recti, also haemorrhoids.
Don't put on too much weight.

Nothing, nothing, NOTHING can prepare you for how wretched you will feel. And unlike PP, 3 small dcs are a doddle compared to being pregnant! The tiredness! Oh lord, the tiredness. And vomiting. And inSOMFUCKINGNIA. "You'd better get some sleep before the baby comes (tinkly tinkly laugh); FUCK OFF, I have other kids who wake though the night and horrendous insomnia! Arrrghgh

most important advice you wish to had been told when you were pregnant? that you're not wasting the midwife's time if you need reassurance about anything.

1. What did you find most surprising during your pregnancy?
That I would not be able to walk by the time I was four months gone (on DC3) had SPD and it was crippling agony.

(Caveat for the judgey brigade: so grateful for my kids, yadda yadda. I just hate being pregnant)

Biggest surprise? I developed gestational diabetes, diagnosed at 29 weeks, despite not having any of the risk factors. The nhs info on diet was hopeless. I found the website and linked facebook group 'gestational diabetes uk' absolutely invaluable.

I joined a mn bus on here and then all of us September mums moved over to a closed facebook group. Again, a real life line as there is always someone else awake and online to give support.

I honestly didn't expect pregnancy to be so awful. I knew about morning sickness but had no idea that I'd also suffer from exhaustion, unbearable itching, and hip pain so severe it prevented me from sleeping for months on end. I didn't expect to be virtually housebound because I was so huge that I could hardly walk.

I wasn't prepared for the realities of childbirth either. I had a plan and knew what I wanted - I had no appreciation of how quickly things can head south and you can end up with unplanned interventions even if you're young and healthy with no complications.

Also I was totally not prepared for what happens after childbirth. I had no experience of babies, not even from family members, so my expectations were based on websites and articles about celebrity mums. I was just as young and fit as them, and I ate healthy and controlled my weight, so I thought my body (like theirs) would bounce back within a few weeks and I wouldn't get stretch marks. I was totally unprepared for the flabby jelly belly, loose skin and terrible stretch marks that I ended up with despite doing everything right. And I thought (like them) I'd be out swanning around with my new pram and new clothes within a few weeks, glamorously breastfeeding in cafes while wearing my new trendy cover-up shawl. I didn't expect to be hobbling around wearing support stockings and injecting blood thinners every day, being even less mobile than I was when pregnant, feeding every two hours round the clock and feeling totally exhausted and still housebound.

@Bellamuerte totally agree!

Birth plan went out the window, kept in for 4 days for fear of sepsis.

Blood thinners every day

Support stockings

Antibiotics

Piles

Stretch marks

Constipation

Clusterfeeding

Baby blues

Loneliness

(I'm only 4 weeks in)

I forgot stitches

And extreme tiredness

That morning sickness isn’t confined to mornings, nor does it definitely go away after 3 months.

That you don’t really sleep well after 28 weeks (start of third trimester).

That gaviscon will become your very favourite thing!!

That having a newborn is easier than being very heavily (overdue) pregnant.

That I didn’t need to start maternity leave at 38 weeks (in a nearby sedentary office job, so no physical effort required). I was really bored waiting past the due date for baby to come and should have stayed at work another week or two.

That strangers ask intrusive questions and sometimes touch your tummy!! This is apparently not abnormal behaviour, but it is really unsettling

How people thing you are now public property and can ask whatever they like, also demand to see your tummy weither you have a bump yet or not! Oh and the all day sickness when you have to vom you have to vom there is NO warning!!! Its not like any sickness or bug youve ever had!!!

That it’s not awful for everyone, I loved being pregnant, didnt get sick, was running to 28 weeks, hillwalking to 38 weeks and swimming to 40+5! The first few weeks with a new baby were far tougher.

Most important advice - Ignore the women who try to terrify you with childbirth stories, they're being really mean and overdramatic.

1. The amount of drool and how stuffy my nose is
2. I just Google for relevant info
3. Not for advice
4. No, I dislike being pregnant whereas everyone else seems to love it and I'd rather Google for an answer than wait for someone to answer a question.

1. That people think it's suddenly okay to touch your belly and comment on your size!

1. I used a pregnancy app that had loads of information in it

1. Yes I used/use forums - more useful than websites and apps tbh. More real advice from real people.

1. The forums did more than blogs/websites etc. All women/pregnancies are so different and these presented a range of different experiences rather than the 'standard' of that makes senses?

Also, don't think you can just 'eat what you want' and it doesn't matter because you're pregnant. I put on 5 stone with my first and it was a long slog to get it off afterwards (still not completely there 4.5 years later)

No gaviscon for me. For my first it was bloating. Bloating so much it hurt and felt like I could be popped after eating the smallest amount of food. Taking ginger supplements has helped this time round but I still get it occassionally.

SPD/PGP/back pain. I'm 21 weeks now and it's just started getting bad and walking around is becoming an effort. Last time I was in tears at 24 wks until I discovered the chiropractor who became my hero.

How much it irritates me when people ask how I'm feeling. Shit. I feel shit. Now kindly fuck off please!

That when people say 'you're pregnant, not ill' it's a load of bollox.

How much I really really don't like being pregnant. Last time I couldn't wait to get DS out. He was 5 days early. This time I'm high risk for preterm so I'm willing her to stay in as long as possible at the same time as really not enjoying it!

How lovely it feels to feel your baby moving around inside you.

How worth it pregnancy is. I was completely in love with DS as soon as he was born. The first week was hellish (I blame a failed attempt at bf'ing), but he is absolutely the best thing ever.

Forums wise, I use MN and just google for any additional info I need. Also using FB support groups this time round due to high risk situation. I can usually find most stuff I need.