Probably a silly question - Hen do related

[MrsXx4]

We starting TTC in May. I have my Dsis hen party in July, I have organised it. I organised quite an active event, think inflatables, slides, water all for fun, not competitive and I am sure you could take things at a slow pace if you so wished.

My 'may be a silly question' is if I am early days pregnant, talking 4-8 weeks can I still take part? the website says 'not suitable for pregnant women' and obviously if you had a big bump then I can see why but is it silly to still take part in something like this in the early days with no bump showing?

I don't want to tell anyone we are expecting until we have our first scan so wouldn't be able to sit it out without raising suspicions.

I understand you don’t want to TTC yet but I also think putting it off for your sister is going beyond the duties of a sister and bridesmaid! But fair enough! Another point is early pregnancy can be very very tough. Pre conception you don’t think about it because you won’t be showing etc. I have honestly felt unable to function in the first 15 weeks of both my pregnancies. Sickness and tiredness that means you can barely muster the energy to do the basic housework never mind an assault course. You’ll most likely feel at your best between 20-30 weeks! I am 21 weeks now with DC2 and planning trips to London etc with my DS, at 8-9 weeks I could basically lie on the sofa changing the TV channel
For him periodically. So no matter when you ‘plan’ it you don’t know how you’ll feel at her wedding.

So yes the last thing I’d want to do in early pregnancy would be a Hen and a wedding where I had to be standing about all day on show.

I do worry about that side of it too and if I am like that then honestly I wont know what to do about it?! I work 6 days a week. I leave my house at 7am which means I am up at 5am. I get back to my house at 7pm. My DH works even longer hours than I do but only 5 days a week.

When I get home I do a bit of housework, do a load of washing while DH cooks the dinner, we eat at 8.30, do the washing up then shower and get into bed! I literally have no time to have no energy!

I am being honest when I say I have no idea what will happen with my job and my routine if I struggle as you have mentioned which I know is perfectly plausible. So now there is even more to think about!

Dont worry about all that before you're even pregnant!! Just take it as it comes.
In direct contrast to pp, I've never had any 1st trimester symptoms. No time off work, no sickness, still doing Metafit at 34 weeks etc. However I know I'm unusual and most people probably fall somewhere in the middle. So just wait and see.

I keep reading stuff about invalidating insurance and you "must not take part"
Honestly In very very early pregnancy take a common sense approach. You aren't invalidating anything. Just means if you don't tell them and take part anyway you wouldn't have legal recourse. I mean obviously it's your decision but just wanted to be pedantic and point that out!

Usually you have to take stock of and decide what’s doable or not! Employers have to record pregnancy sickness separately so if you were very bad you could get signed off and it won’t count as normal sickness work wise. It’s the start of a long time in which you can’t do what you want/have to prioritise yourself and the baby and your physical needs (like perhaps TTC right now instead of when you sister may want you to ) rest assured lots of people have done the same! Life is completely different when you get pregnant and have a baby. You might feel ok and breeze through pregnancy! It’s just when going into first pregnancy it’s so easy to think that until there’s a bump nothing much happens, maybe once or twice you’ll be sick... but it is the most formative time when your body is literally creating a human, so it throws every bit of energy at it and results in you feeling not great.

I'm getting myself frazzled. I am really trying to be calm and chilled about the whole thing and not be my usual worrying self. Which is why I asked in the first place about doing the inflatable course, because I want to keep normality and routine and relax into the whole thing.

Yes, there is no point in worrying about how it will all pan out, because at the end of the day, we want to have a baby and nothing is going to change that.

Aw don’t get frazzled! It’s a scary thing to contemplate, and the urge to want to plan and control it is strong. But it is very empowering in a way when it happens and you realise you don’t know what’s going to happen and you can start thinking in a different way... is it that important I do this? Do I have to? What’s going to happen if I don’t? And the answer is usually nothing bad. And you will naturally prioritise the pregnancy and baby above everything else once it happens... that isn’t a problem at all! Sometimes if you are someone who naturally wants to help people, please them and fear being ‘me me me’ its hard to put up your hand and say “hey I can’t do this/that”. And you sound like you are desperately trying to not worry or ‘upstage’ your sister at all, hence all this worry. Whatever decision you come to don’t worry about what you’ll do when you do get pregnanct, what’s happens will happen and you’ll change and cope in response to that!

Thank you Bugslife.

Thank you to all of you for your support and for being open about your own experiences. It really does help.