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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Just found out my partner has cheated on me whilst I’m pregnant

15 replies

Kc89 · 22/02/2018 05:55

Hi everyone I’m looking for some advise or just something to help me through this as I feel I am going crazy. I think looking for advise of some who doesn’t no either party and take

OP posts:
BlueMermaid96 · 22/02/2018 06:00

How far along are you lovely? Is it 100% true they have cheated?
Personally, take some time away from them and have a breather. It's all about you and bubba, don't get too stressed out either it's never good to stress.
Just relax, think about yourself, have a bit of a break from them & just reflect & think about what's best for you x

Snipples · 22/02/2018 06:00

How did you find out Op? I'm pregnant and if my husband cheated on me atm it would be over for me. It's unforgivable at the best of times but while carrying his child is just a step too far in my view.

Original poster
Kc89 · 22/02/2018 06:23

Sorry this post has posted on me b4 I got finishing writing. I have my actual post up explaining everything. Sorry about that..

He told me himself he cheated and the more we talked then it came out that she was pregnant too. It's completely wrecking my brain because I have no answers and he refuses to answer them. I don't no when it actually happen how far along she is. Nothing. I'm completely devastated. He isn't in the house anymore and I'm trying not to reply to his messages but it's just so hard x

OP posts:
Snipples · 22/02/2018 06:25

What an absolute shitbag he is. I'm so sorry OP. How far along are you? Do you have any family or friends that can support you through your pregnancy? Had you been together long? You can not rely on this "man".

Original poster
Kc89 · 22/02/2018 06:25

This is the complete post of what I was writing.

Hi everyone I’m looking for some advise or just something to help me through this as I feel I am going crazy. I think looking for advise of some who doesn’t no either party and take sides.

I have 3 children from a previous relationship I met my partner I have now almost 3 years ago and from day one he new about my kids and took them on as his own. We now have an 18month old together and I’m currently 24 weeks pregnant to him. When I found out I was pregnant this time I was scared worried and not that happy to b honest because I really didn’t want anymore children we had talked at the early stage of us having an abortion and agreed it would b best I few days later he told me it really wasn’t what he wanted and we just take more time to reconsider because there was already 4 and one more wouldn’t hurt. Obviously pregnant 24 weeks pregnant we decided to carry on with the pregnancy. Things had been very rocky for a few months we would argue a lot he would take himself out at the weekends and not come home we would fight about that then the same thing would repeat. It got to a point 2 weeks ago I told him I couldn’t deal with anymore stress and told him to leave. Within this 2 weeks we talked and decided we really wanted to give things another go and try make them work. So he came back on Friday we had missed each other and one thing led to another and we needed up having sex he went out on the Saturday night and come back Sunday we were talking and he told me he has slept with someone else and she is now pregnant too. I have tried to ask questions for my own piece of mind when it happened how many times etc and he is being extremely sketchy with his answers he refuses to give me a straight answer only thing I no for sure is they had been talking for quite a while how long tho I have no idea.

My heart is absolutely breaking because I never thought he would do this to me I have no idea who this girl is or what she looks like but I can’t get the image out of my head of someone else being with him and it’s hunting me. I’m not eating or sleeping properly. I wish I could say I hated him because it would make things so much easier but I don’t I love him and I wanted us to a family. But with what has happened and the fact I have no answers it’s tearing me apart inside.

I’m so sorry this post is so long but I just wanted to get as much out as possible if anyone has any advise or just anything they can say to help I would appreciate it so much. xx

OP posts:
BlueMermaid96 · 22/02/2018 06:26

Myself and my baby daddy separated a few days ago& i'm 9 weeks which he knows. Try not to message him until he gives you the information you need from him! Stand your ground with him, you're going to be a fantastic mother with or without him x

Original poster
Kc89 · 22/02/2018 06:29

I'm sorry to hear that Sad men really r arseholes. I no he will never tell me the answers I want to no no matter how long I wait or ask he will not tell me x

OP posts:
BlueMermaid96 · 22/02/2018 06:31

Then put you and bubba first, that is all that matters! You have us all here on mumsnet x

Original poster
Kc89 · 22/02/2018 06:41

It's really hard when u love someone and there is already kids involved not just the one I am carrying. I do completely understand what u r saying tho. My mind is just on overdrive at the minute x

OP posts:
BlueMermaid96 · 22/02/2018 06:41

Oh I completely agree.
I love my man very much. I'm so in love with him, but sometimes it's best to step away from a situation for a but and let it resolve itself x

Original poster
Kc89 · 22/02/2018 06:45

I don't want to sound like I'm asking any excuses for him but he's from Africa and there way of life is so different to ares and in some cases quite shocking he doesn't actually think he has really done anything wrong because he said it has happened after we had a fight and I told him to leave the house so he doesn't really seem to think it's cheating because I told him to leave x

OP posts:
Rhubarbginmum · 22/02/2018 06:55

I had a friend years ago who loved her DH and they had two beautiful children together. Her DH started messing about staying out till the early hours most weekends most Fri and Sats. They had DD aged about 3 and a baby DS. Eventually one morning when he rolled in half cut in the early hours she said I can’t take much more of this if we are going to have another weekend like this we might as well not be married.....etc etc. The next thing he packed his bags and went to stay with a friend. It turned out he had cheated on her several times with several women. In his case I think he didn’t want to grow up and be responsible. He left her short with money so she had to contact the CSA and as soon as they made contact with him he came crawling back asking to try again as he wouldn’t be able to afford to go out if he was paying her x. She told him to get lost, met someone else and never looked back.
Flowers 💐

Snipples · 22/02/2018 08:31

Sorry OP but the more you write the worse he sounds. The Africa thing is just an excuse and complete nonsense. If he doesn't see he has done anything wrong then I really don't see how you can begin to reconcile.

Only1scoop · 22/02/2018 08:36

He needs to stop impregnating women.

I'd get checked out for STD's.

Original poster
Kc89 · 22/02/2018 09:07

The things thing is real nonsense I think because it's been such a huge shock to me and with everything going on my head is just a bit mashed and I keep looking for a reason of y he might of done it even tho I no deep down he's done it because it was his choice too x

OP posts:
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