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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

When do I tell work? Worried

21 replies

CobaltRose · 21/02/2018 17:27

When should I tell my boss I'm pregnant?

Hi everyone. I'm about five weeks gone with my first baby. I work part time at a very small family run farm/shop. I'm just wondering when it would be appropriate to tell my boss that I'm pregnant.

My first midwife appointment is not for another three weeks, so it's still very early days. I don't think my job is particularly risky, it's mainly working behind the till. However, I do have to lift boxes of vegetables/lift heavy baskets for elderly customers/bend down quite often. These boxes can weigh as much as 10/15kg. Anything heavier (like a sack of spuds) and one of my male colleagues will lift it. However, I have had to lift boxes that weighed as much as 25kg before because a male colleague wasn't around. That's fairly uncommon though, and I haven't done it since I found out I was pregnant. Am I even able to safely lift 25kg at five weeks pregnant, or is there a risk?

Would it be appropriate to tell my boss about my pregnancy now, just so they're aware of what I can and can't lift, or should I wait a while longer? I'm obviously not showing at the moment and I'm not throwing up (though I do feel sick a lot of the time) so it's not obvious I'm expecting.

I get along very well with my boss so I'm not AFRAID per se to tell him, but I am worried about the impact my pregnancy will have on the business. Like I said, it's VERY small (run by a husband and wife and their son, and there's only a handful of part time staff). I'm worried I'll be a burden or they'll have to let me go ... I plan to work for as long as I can.

Any advice would be appreciated!

OP posts:

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Original poster

CobaltRose · 21/02/2018 17:43

Oh, dunno if it makes any difference but I've been there for three years.

OP posts:

DirtyThirties · 21/02/2018 17:44

My advice is delay it until at least 12 weeks, 6 weeks is far too soon. That said, you shouldn't be under pressure to do anything risky so I would probably fake a bad back when I was expected to lift anything uncomfortably heavy and ask someone else to do it (that's not necessarily good advice, just what I would do!)

Congratulations! Take it easy and let your body tell you what you can/can't do

Original poster

CobaltRose · 21/02/2018 17:46

Haha, I actually did make an excuse a couple of days ago! A customer wanted a 25kg sack of spuds taken to their car. I asked a male colleague to do it and he grumbled and said "Why can't you do it?". I told him I'd hurt my arm

OP posts:

happytobemrsg · 21/02/2018 17:51

I was extremely tired in the first few weeks & my work was tough - not physical but I had management making impossible demands & piling on the pressure. I told my immediate manager at about 8 weeks and the directors a few weeks after that

DirtyThirties · 21/02/2018 17:52

I'm sure they'll forgive the excuse when it all comes out!

Original poster

CobaltRose · 21/02/2018 17:55

Apart from the nausea I don't feel too bad. I'm not that tired (yet).

OP posts:

spugzbunny · 21/02/2018 18:02

In my experience people are totally blind to the excuses! Just say you have a back ache so you can't lift heavy things. I had to make so many excuses for why I couldn't drink for 12 weeks and nobody guessed!

They can't let you go for being pregnant FYI. That's discrimination and they must make accommodations for you. It sounds like you have a great relationship though so you are probably worrying over nothing!

Lemontwist · 21/02/2018 18:32

Tell them whenever you feel you're ready. I told my manager early on and I'm glad I did as he helped me avoid certain risks without letting on to everyone else.
I was worried as I work in a small, already understaffed department and I know my mat leave will have a big impact but he's been nothing but helpful and understanding.
I've just started telling other colleagues now at 18 weeks.
That said you have no obligation to inform your employer until I think 15 weeks before your EDD and some people like to hold off as long as possible or at least until 12 weeks or so.

MrsL2016 · 21/02/2018 18:36

In terms of risks of heavy lifting in early pregnancy, the main one is to you because all the hormones you are producing are softening your ligaments etc, so more chance of pulled muscles and aches and pains iyswim. Baby is nice and safely tucked in your pelvis right now.

Gem173 · 21/02/2018 18:46

Hey, I lift heavy stuff daily and am currently 13 weeks pregnant, scan went well perfectly healthy baby inside. I was too scared to tell my boss and waited until 12 weeks. I had told one of my co workers tho before so if anything majorly heavy came up they would do it without batting an eyelash! Don’t worry about your job, I’m sure they will be supportive after all they are a family business and should consider their employees to progress with their lives whilst working there! And don’t worry about lifting just make sure you lift correctly that’s key! X

Littlebelina · 21/02/2018 18:54

As pp posters have said you don't have to let them know until around week 25. However if you think you need a risk assessment the earlier the better. The lifting wouldn't worry me but do you need to be around sheep or lambs on the farm? If something was to happen before the 12weeks (sure it won't) would you want the support from them for taking time out? Pregnancy related illness has be treated differently (can't be used against you but they do have to be aware of it)

Not saying you shouldn't wait, just presenting another view. I have had to inform early for all my pregnancies but has meant I have support to reduce duties and when things went wrong

Thelampshadelady · 21/02/2018 18:58

I’m self employed with a client base. I’m 26 weeks now and most of my clients still don’t know. Goodness knows how, it’s quite obvious now. I’m keeping quiet because they will moan about me not being able to work for a few months.
I would definitely keep quiet for a bit longer though. Just to ensure everything is going as it should.

Original poster

CobaltRose · 21/02/2018 19:03

Thanks everyone! There are no lambs or sheep on the farm but we do have pigs, goats, chickens, and geese. I don't have any interaction with them though. I think I'll try and wait until I'm at least 12 weeks along if there's no risk to bubba from lifting.

OP posts:

CraftyGin · 21/02/2018 19:11

Tell them when it affects your job.

As a part-timer, you should be able to arrange appointments on your days off.

If you start to get morning sickness that you can’t hide, you might want to come clean.

The main thing is H&S, and adjustments that you need them to make. Lifting do heavy loads is a concern, and they need to do a full risk assessment and make sure you have been on a lifting course. If you don’t want to bring this to attention at this time, you need to unpack the heavy boxes in stages. Working behind the till, you need to have a high seat rather than stand.

If you don’t need to say anything before your midwife appointment, then ask her. She will know what adjustments need to be made.

gryffen · 21/02/2018 19:16

Personally If you have a good relationship then I would tell them as accidents can happen and if you refuse to do a chore then what could happen?

I know you don't have to tell them until later and many people want to wait til 12 weeks but again in my opinion if I was doing your job I would tell them and let them restrict your role for safety.

Good luck

Pittcuecothecookbook · 21/02/2018 19:18

I told my work at 6 / 7 weeks as was worried about tiredness affecting me at work. Had I have sadly miscarried, I would have told my boss anyway so i didn't see the issue of making them aware before 12 weeks

Worldsworstcook · 21/02/2018 19:21

I was stupid with my first pregnancy. I found out I was pregnant at 22, complete surprise and went to my partners home to tell him. When I met him he asked me to help lift a cast iron multi fuel stove from his car boot, out and down the path (on a hill) up three steps, into the front door, down the hall and into the sitting room.

I helped as asked because I didn't think standing in the street was the place to tell him - I didn't tell him till later that night. If I hadn't just announced I was pregnant I think he would've strangled me!! I was so dumb. But it turned out ok!

MeadowHay · 21/02/2018 19:38

Yeah the heavy lifting thing is about concern for you as PP said due to your ligaments relaxing which can mean you're more likely to pull/tear something than you would normally, it's not a concern for your foetus. I think if I were you I would tell them so that they understand and no longer have you lifting very heavy loads but I can see why you may not want to do that.

I told my line manager at about 7 weeks because I got HG and I had already self-certified for 7 days so I had to get a GP sick note and get signed off so didn't have a choice, but I asked him not to tell my colleagues so only him, his boss, and HR were aware until I finally went back to work when I was about 17 weeks and then I told my colleagues in person and spread the news , by that time I'd already had my dating scan and everything seemed to be fine with baby.

BiscayTrafalgarFitzroy · 21/02/2018 19:41

I'm only 5 weeks and I've told my boss. I had to request time off for an antenatal apt so didn't really have a choice. Plus if something went wrong I'd actually rather they were aware of it.

eurochick · 22/02/2018 09:19

Remember most second + timers will be lifting giant toddlers, prams and so on around. It's fine. I was still doing weights at the gym in the early stages.

LauraO1905 · 22/02/2018 09:38

I got my BFP two days ago and am only around 4 weeks but I plan on telling my manager as soon as.

I had nasty morning sickness with my first two that lead to having to take time off sick so I want my manager to be aware of my situation in case I need to take a number of sick days again, so I a. Don't have to lie and b. I'm not put on some sort of sickness review or referred to occupational health!

The nausea has already started so I imagine I'll be breaking the news fairly soon

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