So large 12 yr gap.
New partner.
Due in two weeks
With my first, I had poor midwife care and not a very nice hv after. . Not very informed at all.. 3 day labour, from. First contraction. I remember getting to the hospital and they said I was 6cm.and I freaked. Proper freaked.. Mega meltdown as was in no way prepared as such, ( as in pain relief knowledge etc) 8 hours later and an epidural and DS was born.
I lived in a different area of the city and my doctor surgery was rubbish when I had an issue with DS.. Which didnt believe what I said about projectile vomiting.. Until she made me sit n in a room feed DS.. And he vomited all over her! It took that to believe me, which turned out some of his pipes ( cant remember the name, hadnt fully formed / were weaker so had to persevere little and often) so in general I felt shit. And I think secretly I had pnd as I also don't remember the massive rush of. Love for DS.. It was just a baby who I robotically looked after. I was 23 and again never knew about pnd. If the hv asked me how I felt I said fine. As I didn't want her to tho bad of me.
So now here we now, with someone who worships the ground I walk on. Is so, Involved in everything pregnancy related. And is so excited
I have a midwife who I get on well with. Who has listened to my concerns of not particularly wanting an epidural, ( due to catheter fears from an op I had last yr) and the fact I want to go home. ASAP. She's recommended remifentanil to try first and is positive that I would be in a better mind set.
I feel being as I'm older ( probably me thinking oddly) that I would hopefully be more headstrong and just go with it.?
And hoping that it will be quicker this time ( although dp freaks that he won't make it home in time.. He don't work far and the hospital is literally a few mins away too)
Is it just me over thinking,? I'd like to think I'd be a. Stronger person but my silly worry is dp seeing me in pain.. He's never even seen me cry ever!