How can someone think that is ok?

[user1495827045]

So basically, I got called into work on Tuesday and was directly asked by my boss in front of two other team leaders if I was pregnant as he had heard rumours and for my ‘safety’ he needed to know. I felt very put on the spot and forced into revealing i was indeed pregnant! I then felt forced into justifying why I hadn’t said anything yet due to previous miscarriage and us wanting to wait until the scan to reveal. I was made to feel really bad about not saying anything, I don’t do anything in my job that would be unsafe. I had told 3 people - I only told them because I was having to share a hotel room with them and I didn’t want them thinking I had the plague as I was being sick first thing morning and last thing at night so they would have figured It out. Its all very tricky as it’s a family business so people do share things, I’ve fallen out with my close friend over it as she said I should have told her to ‘protect myself’ and should know that I shouldn’t trust anyone. Am I being naive to think people wouldn’t share that sort of news??? Maybe my morals are different as I would never share that someone is pregnant unless they told me I could???? So upset and don’t feel like I can return as not sure who I can trust as all denying it was them that shared it!!

Your employer did not have a right too know, legally he only has to be told on or before the 15th week before your baby is due so that they can do a health assessment of your duties.

It was wrong for him/her to ask and they should have waited until you told them.

Congratulations on your pregnancy I hope everything goes well for you.
In answer to your post, I understand your reasons for not revealing you were pregnant.
I also understand why your boss had two team leaders with him when he spoke to you. These people were witnesses to what went on when your boss spoke to you. Bit heavy handed.
If you wanted to keep this a secret you should not have told anyone.
You were going to share a hotel room with 3 people? Bit odd
Were these colleagues going to be in the bathroom when you being sick?
If you wanted to keep this a secret you should have said nothing. Then you would not have been put in this awkward position.
Its not a case of morals , its just that most people cannot keep a secret.

Darcychu You are correct the OP did have up to15 weeks to inform her employer she was pregnant.
The employers however have done nothing wrong in asking the OP if she was pregnant.
Her boss clearly said it was for the OPs safety after hearing rumours. The OP could have been 15 weeks or more and if so the employer is required by law make a risk assessment to safeguard her.
Most people announce they are pregnant by 12 weeks, as they are entitled to resonable time off for ante natal appointments etc.
The problem here is not the behaviour of her employer who was concerned for her safety but the OP told her colleagues who spread the rumours.

How pregnant are you?

I don’t think your boss was necessarily out of order to ask but it should really have been a one to one conversation.

You have 15 weeks from you EDD to inform your work place.

Technically you don't have to tell them until you're 25 weeks.

A pregnancy risk assessment is not the law it's good practice.

.

OP it's actually illegal for them to pressure you into telling them you are pregnant and it's illegal for them to ask.

I understand totally understand how you feel because I was put in a similar position. I know it wont make you feel better but the mistake we both made is telling people. For your own benefit just see the positives that people are trying to look out for you, but I get how disempowering it feels. However, yes your manager could have spoken to you alone to keep the number of people in the know to a minimum. It does sound as though they wanted witnesses present, probably because they knew it would be an awkward conversation. I would go for the stress free approach and just move on from it and focus on you and your baba.

Having witnesses seems really heavy handed especially re confidentiality.

Thankyou, you are right, I’m just going to keep my head down and smile! :)

So sorry you got pressured into disclosing. That’s not ok . I would get clued up on your rights now, just to protect yourself. Pregnancy is a protected characteristic under the equalities act. Think ACAS has some useful factsheets for employees and employers.

It is not unlawful for an employer to ask if an employee is pregnant.

@Buxbaum I think you may be right however most HR departments would never ask due to the risk of being sued. It's a seriously dick move for an employer to make. Certainly it is a very grey area with employment law and I would argue OP has a very good case to say she was bullied into sharing information she hadn't chosen to share for very relevant emotional and personal reasons. I'm incredibly angry for her. It's an appalling way to behave. It is 100%% her right to tell her employer when she wants to within the law. They have no right to demand the information. It is not theirs to demand.

@user1495827045 I actually think you should say something. I think you have been used appallingly! Why do people think it's ok to treat people (and let's face it women) like this in a professional capacity?!??

I completely agree that OP has been treated badly, and her employer now needs to tread very carefully as it is unlawful for them to discriminate against her because of her pregnancy. I suspect that the presence of the two witnesses was to protect the employer against any accusation of discrimination in the conversation. Nevertheless, it wasn't unlawful for them to ask the question.

He sounds like an absolutely horrible employe. I hope you don't get more bad treatment! I would want to quit if I was treated that way. Bless you and you good news that you have the right to share or not share with anyone you like, whenever you like 💓💖🦄✨