Deciding whether to have a baby

[daisyintheclouds]

Whenever I have a conversation with my partner about starting a family I become stressed and anxious. My concerns are less about whether I am capable of looking after a child - I enjoy being with babies and have a young niece - but more about whether I could cope with pregnancy and giving birth, for instance if I got HG or experienced difficulties.

Is it normal to have these fears and if so how can I work through them? Are there any organisations or services that offer support to women before they become pregnant? For instance, talking through midwife care and the various tests and checks.

I'm 37 so I know that I need to make my mind up soon. My partner would like a child, but equally he says it would be OK if we didn't.

I would maybe just do some reading about what pregnancy and antenatal care would be like. You might be able to pay privately for some pre-conception care if that's what you want. To be honest, being pregnant and giving birth is the easy bit! Plus it's temporary. Most people can tolerate feeling miserable and unwell (if you do, most will manage just fine) if it's temporary. It's the being a parent thing that lasts forever and can be really challenging. If you're confident enough about that bit, then it's likely you will do just fine with pregnancy if you can wrap your head around it, but you might find some resources related to tokophobia helpful (which is anxiety about being pregnant). There's lots of good information online if you google it and support groups, etc. I don't have any experience myself, but that might be more reassuring that private pre-conception care.