Pregnant but bricking it - need a grip

[Alyosha]

I'm very newly pregnant, at 4+6. I didn't find out until after I'd had my "period", so I'm pretty sure my dates could be out - didn't get a positive test until about 19 dpo.

The test lines are all very clear, come up quickly, but aren't really getting darker and those bloody clearblue digis are only giving me 1-2 weeks with FMU.

I'm terrified I'll lose this pregnancy, the worst thing is that of course it's so common to miscarry, the chances are 1 in 4 at this stage.

Does anyone have any tips to cope with this? I'm thinking of going for an early scan but honestly what would it mean? I could just as easily mc afterwards.

First of all stop testing. It won't help you at all. Have you miscarried before and are fearful because of this or is this a more general worry? An early scan won't help i don't think. It is natural to worry about this a bit but the best thing to do is just carry on with your life.

No, not miscarried before. But I do have a very anxious personality, in general I am a hypochondriac. So now I am googling ectopic pregnancy...

You're completely right, I need to step away from the tests and perhaps try to forget about it. Ultimately nothing I do can change the outcome either way.

I think I would tell my GP what is going on - if you are pregnant but have been having bleeding or a period and have confused dates they may want to investigate further or may be able to explain why they don't need to at this stage. I think it's reasonable to do that.

If the doctor thinks you could be out on your dates, they may actually want to do a dating scan before 12 weeks to make sure they definitely get to scan you at around 12 weeks which is important.

An early scan can be helpful in terms of reassurance from about 7 or 8 weeks but I would talk to your GP first as you don't seem too sure of your dates. I've seen an awful lot of worry on here caused by inconclusive early scans.

I would for now try to relax and stop testing. I was 16 dpo before I even got a positive test! I'm now 40 weeks pregnant and about to go into labour at any moment. I've also had loads of bleeding in all my pregnancies. It can be a completely normal thing - irritation of the cervix unrelated to pregnancy, caused by sex, implantation bleeding, etc. If you have a positive pregnancy test, then you're pregnant. You just need to stop testing and try to just take care of yourself and relax for a few weeks. At 4+6, I would expect that 1-2 on a clear blue is still perfectly fine, especially when you aren't even sure of your dates. Give the midwives a call, start the process of setting up your booking appt, and try to distract yourself for a few weeks. More than likely all is fine. If you feel you need some early reassurance, book yourself in for a private scan, but only once you're 8 weeks. I wouldn't fret about it before and stress yourself out more.

You are much more likely to go on and have a perfectly healthy, normal pregnancy than to miscarry. I've had a miscarriage and I'm not stressed about it happening again. These things happen and you can't control them, so I feel it's hardly worth stressing about something you can't change. In the meantime, the best thing you can do is to relax and take care of yourself. I did find my early scans reassuring though and I think they are worth it. I did learn I was having a mc in one of them but the other showed a very healthy pregnancy and I'm grateful I knew either way.

Thanks both. Very sound advice! I have a booking in phone call with a midwife for next week, so I can tell her about dates/confusion. I didn't get a positive test until I was 19 dpo, but who knows how many dpo I really was.

I think I will go for an early scan, when I am about 8-9 weeks. Hopefully all will be well...as you say why stress about something you can't influence. I will step away from the tests from now on!

Hi all,

Just wondered if these early scans are something you do privately, or are offered on the nhs?

I am in a similar position, first pregnancy, and so delighted and happy but also extremely nervous and worried something will happen. I know I can’t control it and I’m trying to just live my life but I can’t wait for the next 6 and a half weeks to go by so I can relax (a little!)

Hi, I'm pretty sure you can get them on the NHS if you are experiencing symptoms of miscarriage, otherwise you can pay for them.

I found a clinic offering then for £79 on the internet - they have clinics all over offering them.

Best of luck, sounds like we will be due at similar times! What's your due date?

Hiya, I'm almost the same as you. 4w + 6 days according to when my last period was.

This is my first pregnancy and I'm bricking it too! Not just about having a baby but pregnancy in general! Every ache and pain I think is an impending miscarriage, I'm constantly checking certain foods on the internet to see if I can eat them! It's crazy.

@Alyosha I booked an early scan for two weeks today! It was £50, so I thought it would be totally worth it for the peace of mind... I’m due 17th October I think! You?? Fingers crossed everything goes well, can’t help the paranoia!!!

Can I join in with the collective bricking it? Got my positive today...think I'm 4ish weeks...due date calculator says 17th October. I'm petrified! Of EVERYTHING. Possible miscarriage, the booking appointment and medics poking prodding and stabbing me (phobia), how I feel, the whole pregnancy, and don't even get me started on birth (99% certain I want a c section) ...basically I'm like an anxiety filled Tasmanian devil. It'll be ok. Won't it?

I've recently had my first baby and I remember feeling exactly like you did when I was newly pregnant! It's natural. I did go for an early scan (9 weeks) and it was massively reassuring, so if it's affordable I recommend it. I plan to have more babies and would definitely do it again. Bubs was the size of a jelly baby at that point and is now happily dozing in her Moses basket next to me
Accept the anxiety as part and parcel of becoming a mum; there are always things to be scared of but take each day as it comes and enjoy that magical feeling of carrying a little life xx

Cobalt - yes that's exactly it, every twinge, every time I go to the loo...compulsive knicker checking! I've stopped taking tests as they haven't got any darker for me but I do have symptoms so happy with that.

Sounds as though we are all due around the same time...my due date is 18th of October (well, according to the calculator).

Rosemcn definitely going to book my scan in now, might wait until 9 weeks though...seems so long away!

Laney - yup, I am terrified of birth, of forceps, everything! I'm sure it will be OK...might join you in the elective c section stakes.