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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Hand hold... reduced movements rude midwife

21 replies

strawberrysparkle · 16/02/2018 08:31

Feeling so upset. Baby is most active at night and in the evening and haven't really felt baby at all since about six o'clock last night. I don't really sleep at night due to hearty burn etc so this is how I know baby is most active then.

Just called the assessment centre after taking ages to pluck up the courage and called the assessment centre to be greeted with the rudest midwife who when asking me snapped 'you can't know the baby hasn't moved it's morning- how do you know when you've been asleep all night.' And continued to snap and make me feel like the worst person for calling.

I understand they are under a lot of pressure however you would think that making such a fuss of asking mums to be aware of the movements that when they do call they wouldn't be made to feel so rubbish.

They've asked me to go in but I feel so upset and like a time waster I'm sat crying in the car as I don't want to. I'm probably a bit hormonal and scared which is why I've reacted like this but :(

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

sillyoldowl · 16/02/2018 08:33

Ignore that dipstick and go. Chances are you won't see her. Someone kind will help you and either way they have a job to do. So she will have to assess you.

ellesbellesxxx · 16/02/2018 08:35

This is shocking... she could put off someone who needs to be checked out.
you have done right thing calling and hope baby is ok x

Bluebirdsky · 16/02/2018 08:35

Aww that's such a shame, how awful for you. Go on in and see them, chances are you will see someone completely different who will help you and hopefully make you feel better.
Either way you need to get checked for your baby's sake regardless of what that midwife thinks. Good luck, let us know how you get on.

Gunpowder · 16/02/2018 08:35

She sounds very unprofessional and mean. Maybe she’d had an awful night and was stressed? Go in though, if there is nothing wrong and your baby is just having a quiet time that is the best possible outcome and you won’t even remember the mean midwife in the future, if you didn’t go in and something was wrong you would always remember it. Anyway, screw her, you aren’t going in for fun you are protecting your baby.

accendo · 16/02/2018 08:35

Go in! Fuck that MW, do what is best for your baby and any reduced movement should be checked out. While your there make a complaint, the midwife's attitude is dangerous!

Emu31 · 16/02/2018 08:37

That's awful OP they shouldn't make you feel like that, you have done the right thing by calling up and going in and should absolutely be encouraged to call any time you are worried. I hope it all goes well when you go in, hopefully you will speak to someone more empathetic and reassuring when you get in there - in my experience the midwives are just pleased to investigate even if it turns out that baby is wriggling around as normal they see this as a happy outcome and would rather check that all is well. You are absolutely not timewasting that is what they are there for. Sorry you've had all this upset and worry.

Super123 · 16/02/2018 08:39

Take a few big deep breaths and go in. You probably won't see her.
Midwives are usually so kind and understanding.

user1493413286 · 16/02/2018 08:40

That’s so horrible but I’m sure they’ll be lovely when you go in.

Owlettele · 16/02/2018 08:42

I also had a midwife speak to me this way. Makes you feel stupid and sad. But...remember you are right. You know your baby best and body. Reduced movements should always be checked. I genuinely wonder why some midwives are in this area as they show no sympathy at all.

It is very likely you will see someone else who will be kind and considerate. Or if the same one likely that she'll be much nicer in person. . Hope all goes well OP .

mommybear1 · 16/02/2018 08:43

Good grief OP that's dreadful please ignore and go in - your baby and you are the most important things. If you got her name I'd consider reporting her later. I had one midwife tell me my baby had no feet from a physical examination I was devastated. Every healthcare professional I told afterwards urged me to report her, as there was nothing wrong with my baby and there was never a suggestion of a problem with my baby's feet. I didn't initially as just wanted to forget it I then found out she had done things like this before so I did report it. I hope you and baby are both ok OP 💐

FindingNormal · 16/02/2018 08:47

I'm absolutely not trying to minimise how you feel bit is it possible she was trying to be reassuring and just got it wrong? She might have been aiming for something along the lines of: "how worrying it must be for you, I'm trying to understand what the change in movement is like- can you try to describe it for me? Have you been asleep much in the night and might have missed some movements?" But bridged it and come across as a twat. Go in though- don't let her put you off your baby deserves to be checked.

pastabest · 16/02/2018 08:48

How many weeks are you OP?

There's absolutely no excuse for anyone being rude but before 28 weeks they are less concerned about reduced movements so if that's the case it may explain why you felt it wasn't being treated seriously?

newmum2018385 · 16/02/2018 08:49

You have done the right thing OP. You were just unfortunate as to who you spoke to. I was always encourage to ring and never leave it too long if I thought there was reduced movement. If fact a friend of mine was actually told off by the midwife as she left it 36 hours before ringing. Your baby's health comes first

Whatamuddleduck · 16/02/2018 08:55

You are absolutely right to call and will have been absolutely right to go and get checked. Anyone who makes you feel bad for looking out for your baby is a horrible idiot. Baby only has you to ask for help, you are right to get it.

charlottexox · 16/02/2018 09:12

Same thing happened to me at 29W on DD. I ignored her comment and still went in! You're doing the right thing. How have you got on since?

MyOtherProfile · 16/02/2018 09:16

Hope you get on ok. How many weeks are you?

Original poster

strawberrysparkle · 16/02/2018 09:52

Thanks all - I'm 32 weeks so way after the 28 weeks where they aren't as concerned.

I should think the midwife had probably just come to the end of a hard night shift and that was why but it is so discouraging.

Just arrived and waiting to be monitored. Thank you all you're all so lovely.

OP posts:

Juststrugglingabit · 16/02/2018 10:26

Hope it all turns out ok.

I know it feels shitty (I really do), but remember that you are protecting your baby and that is all that matters right now - that's your job and you did it even though you were made to feel stupid. You get 10 out of 10 mothering points today. That MW gets minus Midwifing points, so it's a good thing you were strong or your baby might not have gotten the monitoring they now need.

scrappysquirrel · 16/02/2018 10:56

Bless you, op. It's the last thing you want when you're clearly concerned.

It's absolutely no way to talk to a concerned Mum no matter how much pressure the staff are under. I'm so pleased you are being seen. I had a similar experience but once I got there the midwives I saw were lovely and very supportive.

I hope everything is ok, take care of yourself. You are absolutely doing the right thing op x

OuchMyFoof · 16/02/2018 11:07

Hope everything is ok, I’ve had similar comments from midwives...I don’t understand why they are like that at all sorry you had to deal with that.

OuchMyFoof · 16/02/2018 11:08

Just to add not all midwives obviously! Just the odd one!

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