Considering a doula. Any experience?

[JohnLapsleyParlabane]

DDs birth was difficult in several ways, and I'm really keen not to replicate it with the next one. DH feels he failed me when I was in labour, and I sort of agree. There's no one close to us who we would like to have with us when I'm in labour. So we are considering a doula. Has anyone any experience or tips?

Can't help, but I'm also interested in people's experiences. I would consider one for the next if there is one, for similar reasons to you.

Are all doulas really hippy, hypnobirthing folk. Will they judge because I don't want that?

I don't think they all are. I've found 2 on doula UK who seem like pragmatic women so planning to meet with them and go for the best fit. Any mention of aromatherapy or spiritual anything make me want to run away.

I had a doula with my son’s birth. I was extremely grateful for her being there. I ended up have a very scary time and she was incredible throughout. She kept everything calm and was able to be almost like an interpreter between myself and doctors when decisions were needed.

My partner left us when my DS was 3 months, so she’s continued to be a really positive factor in his birth. I am able to message her every year on his birthday and know that there is someone I can share that day with who was there. Obvs that’s not the reason to have a doula but it’s an added bonus for me.

Also she wasn’t remotely spiritual. I’d view her as an extra midwife who has incredible knowledge of you and what you want for your birth and is a constant throughout. No matter the length of your labour.

I liked having her support beforehand and during the early stages (induction). However, once things really got going I didn't really need or want her there anymore for some reason. She tried to stick with my birth plan of me wanting as little intervention as possible, and was pushing this when my midwife started to become concerned about my baby. The midwife got pretty sharp with her. My midwives were a greater support than my doula was, I got lucky with very good midwives though. Having a doula does feel like having a spokesperson, which is a good thing, however I've not considered hiring a doula this time round.