Losing my mind!!

[Jords0105]

Hi guys so I'm 8 + 5 and I just can't relax. Last year I had a mmc, found out at my 12 week scan that there was no heartbeat and the baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks. I didn't handle it very well and to this day I still don't. Every night without a doubt I have a horrible dream I'm miscarrying in one way or another and it's causing me so much stress. I get that I'm dreaming about it because it's constantly on my mind but does anyone have any tips or advice how to make this any easier? I've got a private scan on the 12th and I don't even want to go to that. It's upsetting because I should be excited😔

All I can say is it’s really hard, the best way I found to cope was to keep myself very very busy so you don’t have time to worry. I’m sorry you’ve been through the trauma of a mmc, they are awful. Fingers crossed though that this pregnancy will be ok and over time you will relax I promise. I was awful till week 12, not brilliant till the 20 week scan and now at 26 weeks I can feel the baby move so it’s finally reassuring me (most of the time).

Good luck for the scan on the 12th, fingers crossed for good news.

Hello. Have you discussed your anxiety with your midwife/GP? My understanding is previous MMC does not increase the likelihood of having future miscarriages, so you are at no greater risk than anyone else. Hope that reassures you to some extent. I'm petrified of MMC too.

I'm afraid there is nothing you can do to make this pregnancy work out. If all good with the cells then the pregnancy will continue. If not then nature (hopefully) will take its natural course. If it diesnt work out you just have to find a way to accept that your body did what it should do.

It's easy to say relax, much harder to put into practice, especially after a miscarriage. But there is nothing you can do to influence whether this is a viable pregnancy or not.

Possibly distraction is the only thing you can do to get through the next few weeks.

Hope it all works out well.

@doublechocolatetiffin and @crabbypatty thankyou I fell pregnant almost a year to the day when I found out about my mmc so I'm hoping it's a blessing in disguise! I haven't actually seen my midwife yet, I've got an appointment on Thursday. I keep trying to tell myself that that it's a new pregnancy everything about it is different this time around. I'll have driven myself up the wall by the time labour comes around haha! I think it's the dreams that are affecting me the most they're so realistic

Letting go of all the 'shoulds' may help. There is no pressure on you to be enjoying or excited about anything - when it comes, it comes. And it will.

You only need to take things one day at a time and enjoy what you can, try not to dwell on worrying thoughts and worry about the private scan when you get there. It's really, really hard, but I have found this approach helpful and now that I am a bit further along it's meant that I can enjoy the little milestones as they arrive as well as dealing with the fear and worry.

Yes, the nightmares are so hard. I often felt like I might make something bad happen just by having them they were so realistic. But I didn't.

I the same as you, MMC in first pregnancy but with the second one everything was fine. I was a wreck throughout most of it. I know a lot of people hate them but I had a home
Doppler that I used to listen to the baby. It kept me sane because I could get past the idea that she might have died and I wouldn't know until the next scan. As soon as I started feeling movements I didn't use it anymore.

Good luck with everything xx

Don't worry, I wasn't yet excited at twelve weeks either. Don't beat yourself up because you don't feel the way you think you should. There is no right way to feel. x