TTC after miscarriage - positive stories?

[Claire138]

Hi, just thought I’d share my story in the hope of hearing from others in a similar situation who had a positive outcome.
I went for my 8 week scan on 20th December and unfortunately there was no hb, baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks 3 days. I chose to have an ERPC the following day. It has now been 6 weeks and I have fully recovered and had my first AF last week. My OH and I have decided to start TTC again and I am terrified of everything now...I’m scared how long it will take me to conceive, scared that when I do get pregnant it will happen again, am I able to even have kids and carry them full term. It really has become so consuming! Would love to hear other ladies experiences x

Same happened to me love, I'm sorry. It's a really hard time. I lost our baby at 6 weeks, found out at 9 and had medical management the next week. That was end of September 2016. I had a first period 2 weeks later then another 3 weeks after that and conceived again around 11th December, bfp 28th Dec and currently feeding my 5 month old little girl. The first 12 weeks were HARD. I opted for the harmony test to be over cautious (I am older so was a bit paranoid) but I had a healthy pregnancy and my little girl is perfect.

Pregnancy after a loss is always tinged with sadness and worry but it fades and I have always told myself we get the children we are meant to have.

Lots of luck and love to you xx

My experience was very similar to yours. I had a private scan at 8 weeks and found out baby was measuring only 5 weeks (no heartbeat). I was absolutely certain of my dates and had gotten a bfp 5 weeks earlier, so there was no way I was only 5 weeks pregnant. I had an ERPC at 11 weeks. I wanted to have a natural miscarriage to avoid having to have surgery, but unfortunately it didn't happen even after 6 weeks. I was 36 at the time and though I knew I could get pregnant easily (this was my 2nd pregnancy, I have a 4 year old), I had no idea what this meant for my fertility or if it would make things really difficult for me or if there was some reason I had the miscarriage that I didn't know about.

I found out about the mmc in March and had the ERPC in early April. I got my period 4 weeks later right on time and my cycles went right back to normal. I got pregnant again in May and everything has been smooth sailing. It was overwhelming and stressful in the early days, but I tried to trust in my body and be gentle with myself. I felt very differently from the start this time. I 'felt' more pregnant, and I just felt like this was meant to be. I'd always felt from the start with my previous pregnancy that it wasn't right and it wasn't going to work out (which actually is why I booked the early scan). But this time was just completely different. I've had an easy, straightforward pregnancy. I'm 38 weeks now with a little boy and getting ready to have him any day now.

There really can be a light at the end of the storm and this pregnancy has been very healing for me. I know it's so difficult and emotional and overwhelming when you're in it, but have faith and be gentle on yourself and try to stay positive.

I don’t think it’s ever easy. You really do have to take each day as it comes. I know that is easier said than done.
I had a mmc picked up at 12 week scan and a hideous time with 2 medical managed miscarriage (both unsuccessful). It’s made me utterly paranoid, to the point people comment on it.
I fell quite quickly again, and am now 23 weeks. Unfortunately at my 20 week scan we were told the baby looks to have a very rare heart problem that’s all we know at the moment. We are seeing fetal medicine on Tuesday.
I will be devastated if it comes to the worst, but as I mentioned above, I’m desperately trying to take each day as it comes.
And I know that I’ve done the absolute best for my baby.
Good luck.

I miscarried naturally in August last year, at six weeks. It was very upsetting even though it was so early - we had been trying for only a few months but it was our first positive and we were a little concerned that age wasn't on our side.

I had a period pretty much right on time afterwards, then fell pregnant again straight away. I'm now 22 weeks, almost 38 years old and going well. We don't forget our first little one and we know we are really fortunate to have another pregnancy so soon. I couldn't really enjoy early pregnancy this time but it was a relief to get further than the last time and I cried when the scan confirmed a heartbeat. Since then I've been able to relax more, but we don't take anything for granted.

I really hope you have a successful pregnancy soon. It does happen for a lot of people.

Thanks ladies for sharing your experiences, I really appreciate it! I know I’ve just got to try and be positive but its difficult when you are naturally an anxious person.

Oops didn’t mean to post so soon.
thelampshadelady I really hope they are able to help your baby and as you say you know you have done the best for your baby so just try and stay positive and take each day as it comes. All the best

It’s such a difficult journey and one that I think in a way you will always travel. I’m so sorry for your loss.

I was in a similar situation this time last year. I found out at 9 weeks that my twins had stopped growing at 6. I too had an ERPC the following day and was absolutely heartbroken. My period also came back about 6 weeks later and I was lucky enough to conceive the cycle after that period. Unfortunately that one too ended in miscarriage, spontaneously at 6 weeks. I felt different about it, something hadn’t felt “right” and we managed to pick ourselves up quickly. I was petrified though - what if this happened every time? What if this wasn’t just bad luck like professionals were telling us? What would happen if I didn’t get pregnant again? Or if my periods never returned? I thankfully didn’t have to dwell on those for too long as without even getting a period after that miscarriage, I fell pregnant again. The first 12 weeks were incredibly difficult - emotionally and physically. I slept most of the time, trying to just get though the days. The day of my 12 week scan I cried when they found a heartbeat and told me my baby looked exactly as it should. I’m now 30 weeks and can feel my little bub wriggling around in my tummy, getting bigger and stronger everyday. Conception and pregnancy after miscarriage is so hard. It’s full of questions you have no answers to and is emotionally and physically exhausting. Take each day as it comes but hold on to positivity. There is always hope.

I wish you all the best for the future OP. Best of luck x

I could have written your story myself! I now have a beautiful DD! It is really difficult and I can’t lie I was anxious throughout my pregnancy with DD-I couldn’t believe w it when I finally got to hold her in my arms.

Wishing you all the best and I am so sorry for your lost xxx

Yes I had my first miscarriage at 20 fell pregnant without trying wasn't with the father but knew him well. Once I got my head around it started planning very happy. Started to bleed a couple of days before first scan went to hospital scan confirmed I'd miscarried was absolutely devastated. Changed my life completely( diet stopped smoking started saving) all I wanted was a baby but no partner! Wanted the right person! Had a drunken one night stand on holiday couple of years later fell pregnant again 23 by now wasn't happy no dad involved again toyed with the idea of a termination as wanted it all to be 'perfect' but couldn't do it! However miscarried at 6 weeks. Could not believe it really believed I would never have children set me off on a bad depression. In one way I sorted my life out brilliantly got home of my own job money etc but could never find a guy looking back was just wanting a family so never got to know anyone for themselves. Anyway at the age of 33 I set about becoming a single mum. 3 fertility clinics later( 1 in Denmark) I had a round of ivf with donor sperm successful first time and after an extremely stressful pregnancy I gave birth to the most amazing beautiful baby girl. I have 4 more embryos in storage and I'm so happy it worked out this way. I do still hope for a partner one day but this will be when my child/children are older. Sorry for long post but this has been the main thing that shaped my destiny. You will get there. Get yourself right and waste no time. Best of luck to you xx

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I started having miscarriage symptoms on Thursday and it was confirmed by the hospital yesterday. Finding it hard to cope but reading this positive stories are good to see x

Another familiar story here...MMC found at 12 week scan (1st preg). I remember going home devastated, having wine and watching Glastonbury festival. A year later I was watching the festival again late into the night nursing my 2 week old DS. Stay strong ladies, I had all the same concerns and issues, the anxiety won't go away, but you just learn how to manage it.

Hi I just want to say I am in the exact same boat as you. I found out 2 weeks ago when I should have been 11 weeks that baby stopped growing just before 8 weeks, I went on to miscarry naturally so didn’t need any surgery and just waiting to get my first period back. I am desperate to try again but I am so worried about everything. It took us 10 months to conceive so I am worried it will take this long again, worried that I will miscarry again, worried that there is something wrong with me and i will never be able to carry a baby to full term. I’m scared for when I do get pregnant again how bad my anxiety will be for those first 12 weeks. This is all the things I think about daily and it is a struggle but I know I just need to try and be positive and get rid of these negative thoughts and reading all these nice stories gives me hope that it will happen again soon.

Hi @lisalou88 sorry to hear you are going through something similar. It’s really quite a traumatic time. I have heard you are more fertile after miscarriage...not sure if this is just an old wives tale but I’m just trying to focus on positive things. It’s so easy to fall into the rut of the daily negatives of ‘what ifs’ but when I feel myself going like that I focus on other ladies positive stories and just pray to god the next one will make it!

And thanks to everyone for sharing their stories! It really does help because even though miscarriage is apparently so common it seems to be such a taboo and I don’t know anyone personally who has went through it so it’s good to talk to people that know how it feels xx

@Claire138 Hey, how did you get on? Did it work out for you? I really hope it did. Your dates were the exact same as mine. I found out at 8weeks that the baby had stopped growing at 6+3. I had medical management yesterday and my MC was complete this morning. I feel so sad, I don't want to see anyone. X

Massive hugs op. You never know how truly devastating it is until you experience it. I went through the same. And it was traumatic because my first pregnancy was smooth sailing. I was just blindsided. I had a d&c.
I'm not in the uk and it's done differently here. A d&c is pretty much standard as the baby is examined and you have an answer as to what happened. Provides peace of mind. Counseling is also standard. You are also assigned a gynae/obstetrician who sees you through till the end. And my gynae put Me on a 4 month plan to follow from the first day of a cycle. We got pregnant from the first cycle. A part of the plan is aspirin and progesterone.
Scans start at 6 weeks. The prenatal care is exceptional.

I was in the UK for my first pregnancy and was fortunate enough to afford a consultant with the one of the top 3 private hospitals. I compared it to friends back at home who were pregnant and was appalled and disappointed at the level of private care in the uk. So much so that we moved back home when I was 6 months pregnant and the relief was immense.

I was truly appalled that you needed to have 3 MC to be investigated at the NHS. Why the emotional trauma of going through it 3 times when tests could be run to investigate if anything could be done sooner.

Sorry to go off on a tangent but my point is if you needed the investigation sooner and meds to help you need to ask for it.