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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Extremely worried about drinking when I didn't know I was pregnant?

31 replies

lostfairy · 01/02/2018 16:53

Hi there, I have recently found out I'm pregnant, I think possibly between 14-15 weeks along. This is very unplanned and unexpected. My periods have always been irregular, sometimes I don't get one or it's very late, other times very light or very heavy. I am 23 years old.

I had a heavy-ish period in October, I can't remember when exactly. I missed a period in November but then had what I thought was a period (now I have discovered it's common for women to have bleeding when the embryo is imbedding itself) in December. I began to suspect I may be pregnant at around 16th Jan, only because I noticed obvious symptoms which prior to that hadn't shown themselves. Took test on 23rd Jan and it was positive. Since then no alcohol whatsoever. My concern is that I drank quite a bit on my Birthday in December, as well as at Christmas and New Years. I also went to see my family in early January and drank a bit on maybe three occasions as I hadn't seen them in a year so. Not enough to be drunk, but still drank.

I am so deeply worried about this. I'm going to see doc next week and i will explain my concerns thoroughly then, but I am sick with worry. I've been terrifying myself with reading articles about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and other articles saying even small amounts can cause serious serious damage to the baby.

I haven't been able to sleep properly for days worrying about this and I can't stop reading these horror stories. I suppose I am looking for some reassurance and comfort in the meantime before I see the doctor. Has this happened to anyone else out there? I feel like a terrible person and I am so concerned for the baby. I'm sick with worry!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Sarahh2014 · 01/02/2018 16:57

Dont worry I know loads of people who happened to binge before found out including myself and all was well I think babies are a lot more robust than we think! Plus I think the alcohol is diluted as it passes through you x

Sarahh2014 · 01/02/2018 16:59

😊

Extremely worried about drinking when I didn't know I was pregnant?

Bossbaby12 · 01/02/2018 17:00

Please try not to worry. I can't offer any medical advice but I can say I did drink at the start of my pregnancy (I didn't know I was) and I felt awful and I was worried but my DD is 18 months and is great ☺️ speak to your midwife to put your mind at rest

Undies1990 · 01/02/2018 17:01

Hi. This happened to me with my DS - I had absolutely no idea I was pregnant and went to a few parties, getting very drunk etc. I remember playing that game where you have to spin around with your head on a broom and falling over several times! I too had the same worries as you as soon as I found out I was pregnant - my midwife told me not to worry about it and she was right. My DS arrived in perfect condition . Try not to worry, and just make sure you don't touch a drop from now on!

Congratulations by the way

cheeseandpineapple · 01/02/2018 17:13

Baby boomers and generation x were born in eras when drinking and smoking didn’t stop during pregnancy. FAS is more of an issue for alcoholic mums.

Riverside2 · 01/02/2018 17:15

okay not a doctor...

but one of my mates was similar to you - didn't realise she was pregnant and had been binge drinking every weekend plus daily wine.

doctor said it was fine.

rest of us expected the baby to emerge in a pickle jar, but he didn't, he just came out like a regular baby

it will be fine.

Riverside2 · 01/02/2018 17:16

@Undies1990 "I remember playing that game where you have to spin around with your head on a broom and falling over several times! "

um, the Gravity Defying Game?!

Original poster

lostfairy · 01/02/2018 17:24

Riverside2, how far along was your friend when she discovered she was pregnant?

OP posts:

Riverside2 · 01/02/2018 17:32

lostfairy, she was past 12 weeks and had experienced no sickness at all. It was complicated because she'd come off the Pill so didn't know when to expect a bleed and also mistakenly had it in her head that it would take ages to get pregnant (I don't know why women think this when missing 1 pill is a problem, but I digress...)

also she hadn't gained weight. Ended up with a 9lb baby, but that first few months, no sign of anything at all.

also when I say she drank a lot, she drank a LOT. I still remember one particular sunny Saturday when she probably started at midday and was still going when I headed home at about midnight?!

Original poster

lostfairy · 01/02/2018 17:58

Riverside2, thanks, that puts my mind at ease. I am very anxious though and can't stop dwelling on this worry that I've caused damage!

Do you have any advice on how to calm down a bit?

OP posts:

Riverside2 · 01/02/2018 18:08

OP, not sure if that last query is directed at me..? I can only say, visualise your friends cooing over a baby and saying "oh wow, he's not in a pickle jar" "oh actually a free glass jar that size would have been quite good as a vase" etc. (this is SO outing )

my friend was really fretful too but in spite of all the stuff we saw online, when she got to the GP they were quite "meh" and weren't worried. Probably step away from the internet, please don't google the syndrome any more. I'm sure more posters will be along to reassure you soon.

MistressPage · 01/02/2018 18:13

I could have written your OP. I drank a LOT before I found out, including several very boozy nights out, multiple cocktails til 3am etc. I was terrified. My baby is now a toddler and is perfect. Congratulations and try not to fret

happymummy12345 · 01/02/2018 18:27

Please try not to worry.
It happens, it's probably more common that most people even realise.
I didn't find out I was pregnant until I was nearly a month gone. I went to a concert and everything.
I drank through my pregnancy, not as much as usual though. My baby was fine.

Original poster

lostfairy · 01/02/2018 18:34

Riverside2, yes that last query was for you haha. Thinking of my family and friends adoring my healthy baby is a comforting thought! Thank you for your advice, I think staying away from googling these things is the best option but it's hard to resist when worried. I think my worrying has been worsened by not having anyone to confide in so thank you for your amazing responses! I can only hope my baby turns out healthy like your friends' did. Will try to stay calm xx

OP posts:

hesterton · 01/02/2018 18:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Riverside2 · 01/02/2018 18:49

lostfairy "Thinking of my family and friends adoring my healthy baby is a comforting thought!"

of course. That lovely baby is now 8 I feel old.

though I am quite looking forward to telling him that he was referred to as Pickle Jar Baby and that mummy was hammered half the time he was in her tummy. We'll wait ten years for that though.

Although - gird yourself OP - the other day he used some kind of slang expression in front of me and then acted all shocked that I wasn't surprised, and then I said "dude, you spend half the day in a playground, of course know worse words than I do" and we dissolved into giggles and the parents gave us The Glare

see, one day your DC will be swapping similar chat with your mates. Especially your childfree mates, because the childfree auntie gets the cool crown for some reason.

Original poster

lostfairy · 01/02/2018 19:10

Riverside2, haha, I'm sure when he's 18 he'll be able to relate to being hammered! Hopefully he'll find it all very amusing, especially the Pickle Jar Baby bit. Make sure to tell any of his future girlfriends that, it might catch on as a cute nickname haha. It sounds like you have a really good relationship with him which is lovely! And it's lovely to hear he seems bright with a good sense of humour. I always thought I'd be the childfree auntie myself! Guess life had a different plan for me aha. Thank you so much for your responses, you're an amazing lady! Your kind posts have really cheered me up and put my mind at ease. xxx Will still worry though as I'm just a worrywart xxx

OP posts:

Original poster

lostfairy · 01/02/2018 19:36

hesterton, thank you for the reply. It's good to know there's somebody else out there who had the same time line as me. How far along were you when you discovered you were pregnant? xx

OP posts:

Noloudnoises · 01/02/2018 19:47

I think foetal alcohol syndrome happens to huge alcohol abusers throughout the pregnancy so don't worry.

Just think what everyone did in the 60s with drinking and smoking!

BigBaboonBum · 01/02/2018 20:21

When I was pregnant with my youngest I had no idea, took a test and it was negative and assumed I wasn’t pregnant and so went out to a weekend away - I’m not normally a drinker, but this is probably the most drunk I’ve been in my life as it was a high school reunion, not only that but it was a weekend at a theme park hotel so it was non stop rides during both days. I found out I was pregnant sometime after that... he’s now just turned 7 and the smartest kid I’ve ever met!. He was doing high school work in reception and year 1 so we had to find alternative education for him!
Also my step brothers child was conceived when they were younger and they got drunk most weekends - their daughter is now 13 and a serious book worm, and she’s stunning.
My other friend drank knowing she was pregnant (which made me cringe,) and her daughter is absolutely fine.

I think this happens more than people care to admit! As long as you aren’t drinking throughout pregnancy you should be fine

ReggaetonLente · 01/02/2018 20:51

I drank before I knew - I found out earlier than you but was still incredibly worried. My midwife told me to put it out of my mind, that FAS is only something they see in the babies of chronic alcoholics (and even then not always) and that it’s linked with the poor nutrition that often comes with an alcoholic lifestyle. I’m not worried anymore. All scans have been perfect.

Anecdotally, i know several women who didn’t find out until they were 8-10 weeks and carried on as normal, drinking, smoking - one went bungee jumping! All their babies are beautiful and healthy. The human race wouldn’t have got this far without foetuses being pretty tough.

I know one lady who drank throughout her pregnancy to excess, several bottles of wine and a bottle of spirits a day. She actually died of liver failure when her son was very small, but he was physically fine when he was born.

stephRK · 02/02/2018 16:00

I have been feeling the exact same! I am around 8 weeks and fell pregnant (unplanned) between Christmas and New Year and was out for night's out drinking quite heavily, as you do at Christmas!! I've been worried sick that I may have caused some harm but everyone I have spoken to who's babies were unplanned have said the exact same as the comments above so try not to worry:)
Congratulations!!! x x

Carla889 · 17/12/2018 20:45

Hi lostfairy, I realise this is an older post. I'm in a similar situation you were. I'm currently 20 weeks pregnant. I didn't find out until I was 11 weeks. Before that I had a few nights out. Drank a lot at around 2 weeks and I was very drunk at a wedding when I would have been around 9-10 weeks! I'm worried sick. Do you mind me asking did all go well with your pregnancy?

shanicesc · 14/01/2020 20:44

Hi im shanice and i went through the same thing as your friend, i was wondering how much has changed since her birth? im worried im 5 months pregnant now and i drank ALOT In the first trimester :(

Cherryrainbow · 15/01/2020 11:29

I'd had some partying before I found out I was pregnant with my son. I found out pretty early more or less on 5 weeks. The midwife was lovely though and said there are many women who don't know they're pregnant until many months in and they've drank, ate normally etc unawares, it would be ok

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