Ok, a more postive thread - what's the best advice anyone has given you whilst pg? (or would you give others)

[bumperlicious]

Not really advice from someone else but letting the doctor sign me off sick for 2 weeks at 29 weeks was the best thing I did all pregnancy. Slept well, enjoyed the sun and completely changed how I felt about being pregnant and having a baby - i.e. now actually feeling positive and excited!

the best advice i ever got was very similar ti kinkis. my midwife said to me the best thing to do was not to get too worked up over every little thing all familys are differant and so the way we bring up our chidren will be differant too. and when advice comes just nod and ignore it

Don't forget about you

It's easy with a baby on the way to forget about you and just see a bay bump. People also do this, getting used to people just talking about the baby without even asking me how I'm doing has taken some getting used to if that makes sense. Like all they see anymore is my bump, I get ignored now! I don't have any children and my first baby is due in less than 4 weeks but I can only imagine the attention a new baby will bring. And I'm also aware that I'll probably get forgotten about whilst there is a new baby to coo over.
Just do little things for yourself, paint your nails, have a bath etc. Things that are just for you to make yourself feel better. Give yourself the attention you deserve

Don't plan to breastfeed for x amount of time... breastfeed for "today" - after a while you realise that it is 6 months down the line.

Labour is called labour because it's hard work. Nobody mentioned that to me!

Rest means feet off the floor, not climbing ladders putting PVA on bare brick walls so that the plasterer could plaster a bedroom for the baby to be born in.

Employ Lulumama. If you are oop north that is. If not, beg her for her msn addy, saved my sanity.

Listen carefully to all advice (to make the person delivering it feel good) then do your own thing. Try things once if it sounds like a good idea but accept it may or may not work for you and your new family.

don't have much experience as am 1st time mum with 8wk old DD but my best advice is don't discount anything.....epidural's,dummies,giving the occasional formula feed if bf...the list could go on of things I said I wouldn't use/do but have now done them all!!!! Trouble is if you say you are not going to do things and then end up doing them you somehow feel you have failed...you haven't it's called coping!!!!

Enjoy your baby at every stage, try not to constantly look ahead to the next stage, enjoy the one your child is in NOW.

And take loads of photos before they can move, because once they are on the move it is really difficult to get good photos .

prepare some meals to stick in the freezer - makes life sooooo much easier in those first weeks!

And video, canadianmum. I have one video clip of DD at the hilarious 'baby semaphore' stage (about three or four months) where her whole body is moving with immense purpose and meaning but achieving nothing more than occasionally jamming her fist into her mouth. I didn't take much video of her when she was tiny, cos I thought it was pointless as she didn't 'do' anything, but once she got a bit more purposeful I realised I'd missed out on recording something.

Which reminds me, I meant to show her that bit where she nods manically having just learned to sit up, and falls flat on her face. Oh well, that'll be five minutes fun tomorrow.

If you're upset about being so ill, not being able to share everything with your DP (or sharing too much), not liking being pg, don't beat yourself up. From what I've read on parenting sites it takes at least 4 babies to fully enjoy it and feel like you're 'getting it right'. By then you won't give a toss about what your DP is feeling.

The indignity starts the first time you wee on a stick and just goes on and on and on...

Don't get obsessed about the labour to the point of forgetting the far longer time you'll spend caring for the baby! I recall trying to wash DD for the first time with a huge hardback baby care book propped dangerously near her head, wishing I'd thought about more in advance than the wretched birth plan...

You don't have to obey orders even if your midwife or consultant give you the impression you MUST do what they've told you. If you are uncomfortable with their advice, read up on it, post a thread here, and make up your own mind while taking their suggestions into account.

And you don't have to take anyone's advice seriously - smile and nod and ignore if you want to!

Totally agree with LucyLu1981. The number of people I know who say they are going to have natural birth, no drugs, no dummy, breastfeed exclusively until 6 months, not watch tv, eat organic only etc etc etc etc. Give yourself a break!

Enjoy it all - it all goes so fast.

lol at some of these, and some I wish I had been told.
just like littlelapin - I remember walking out of hospital thinking 'oh look a baby, its mine?'

Don't stress, enjoy pregnancy as much as you can, sleep as much as you can and rest before the due date. Just like you are doing.

My mum told me not to stress about the little things, if they are healthy, then really you have done your job. So they go out (or, more often than not, you go out) with dirty clothes on, or their faces are a bit grubby, or they ate 10 biscuits/Maccy D chips/anything unsuitable for dinner because they don't like the organic steamed vegetables which took you HOURS to prepare... well, just relax. Save your panicing for the big things like them crossing roads, or um, school, or kidnappers. Not sure what the big things are really, but if you get paniced about them getting dirty, or not having the same growth/ number of teeth/etc as other babies you'll die of the exhaustion. Every baby is different, yours is of course more amazing than any baby ever to be born, but just chill. Breath out. That's my advice. It's saved my life on many an occasion. And hire a cleaner!!

Read about what to do after the birth in my pregnancy books.
I only ever got as far as the labour, so when I got home I looked at dd and thought I have no idea what I'm doing!

Also heed advice on taking something to read in the hospital.
I never read anything through my labour (I was too spaced out with the drugs) but for the 3 days I was in hospital afterward I was bored shitless.

And if someone offers to help - say "yes please" and let them take your baby for a walk, cook you a meal, babysit, fold the laundry, water the garden, massage your feet or whatever - JUST SAY YES. Don't go all British and polite .

Take a picture of your bump every month and then one of your baby on the first of every month once it has been born. Doing it on the first means you probably won't forget. Its impossible to remember how little they once were and it is so wonderful to look back at the pictures.

the best advice i had during my pregnancy was that I was in control, i think up to that point i was trailing around being told what to do left, right and centre. When I realised that I was able to make grown up decisions it was a huge relief.

The best advice I had, was to make sure that at around day 3 and 4, when you milk comes in and your hormones turn you into a wreck, you DO NOT have lots of visitors around. You really will just want to be with DP/DH and the baby, especially if you're breastfeeding and will be sitting around practically topless trying to get the hang of it, you don't want to be doing that with your FIL/BIL around, or stuck in the bedroom while everyone drinks tea and eats biscuits.

Join your local coffee group and invite people round so you make lots of new friends who know what you are going through and to share the fab bits