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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Telling parents about expecting baby #3

7 replies

SleepyBadger · 30/01/2018 12:03

This may sound absolutely ridiculous, but I am getting myself extremely anxious about telling my DPs I'm pregnant again. It's early days, but will probably need to tell them sooner rather than later as I had HG in previous pregs and the nausea has started to kick in so it's difficult to hide really. My parents have disapproved of many of my life choices and I had a particularly difficult relationship with my mum growing up (she can be very controlling) they also don't like DH, although they tolerate him for sake of the kids but that's a whole other thread!😔. They didn't react spectacularly to me announcing when I was pregnant with DC2 so I fear the worst! Also DC2 is only 8 mo ta so there will be a relatively small age gap if fingers crossed all goes well with this pregnancy. I was thinking of waiting until after the 12 week scan to tell them but don't know if I can keep a lid on it that long and hide the sickness. Oh god I cannot believe at the age of 32 I'm scared to tell my mum I'm up the duff! It's crazy! I would never want my own daughter to feel his way when she is older (currently only 4) I want her to feel she can tell me anything. So hard 😢I know nobody will have an answer, it's just good to write things down sometimes and get other people's thoughts. Anyone been in the same situation?

TIA for listening!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
gryffen · 30/01/2018 17:21

Hiya and yup.

I have a great relationship with my parents but my PIL are controlling assholes and MIL is disapproving of me because I'm a stay a home mum who needs help sometimes due to a crippling IIH headaches I get.

Our 12 week scan in on Thursday and I'm dreading telling the in-laws due to what MIL could say about finances etc.

Ugh - the joys!
Chin up lass - if they are toxic to you then keep distance.

Wellthen · 30/01/2018 18:19

I would be tempted to be blunt. Just don’t tell them directly and when they guess confirm that you didn’t tell them because you didn’t think they’d be pleased.

People who aren’t pleased aren’t worth your time telling. They certainly aren’t worth agonising over hiding it from. Don’t hide it, be yourself, how they respond is their problem.

SleepyBadger · 31/01/2018 13:27

Thank you both. I have decided to wait to tell them until 12 weeks. My mum is already worried about lots of other things going on within the family and I think telling her now might tip her over the edge! 😬 Even though I'm a married, have a stable job and have 2 kids already and have managed perfectly fine she will still worry about finances and how I'm going to cope with 3dcs. It's ridiculous really! I don't rely on them for childcare etc so it doesn't impact them in that respect either. It's very odd, just a control thing I think. After a spot of googling it seems to be quite common 🤔

@gryffen good luck telling the inlaws when the time comes! I don't really get on with my inlaws, but confident they will be happy we are expecting again they are totally different to my folks and tend to worry less about practical things and will just focus on the fact they will be getting another grandchild to love and cuddle x

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LeaderoftheAteam · 31/01/2018 14:11

Honestly, in exactly the same boat. I’m 16 weeks now and still haven’t told family because I dread how they will react. I’m toying with the idea of letting them guess Hmm

SleepyBadger · 31/01/2018 15:09

@LeaderoftheAteam oh nooooo! It's crap feeling this way isn't it?! I am excited and happy, but it just tinges it slightly when you know there is going to be judgement from certain family members 😔. Fingers crossed for us all it won't be too horrendous 😬. Well at the end of the day there's not much they can do about it 🤣

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Aries456 · 31/01/2018 16:10

Hi, I am in a fairly similar position. Expecting no 3 and no2 is 11 months. After I had my second I told my mum I would still like a 3rd and she basically said I shouldn't! Went on about finances, child birth (2 EMCs for me) and because my 1st is quite hard work (well he is a normal, active little boy!!) I don't know why she is so down on me having a 3rd as I am one of 3! My MIL also joked at Christmas that she doesn't want any more grandchildren (She has 9) so I kinda feel like she won't be thrilled either. I am only 7 1/2 weeks but we have 2 major family occasions happening next month and not sure I will get through them without letting slip... ps my mum changes like the wind, when I tell her I expect she will have completely forgotten her earlier negative comments!!

Aries456 · 31/01/2018 16:12

Oh and last time I was home, I told her I was just getting over norovirus or similar so i couldnt eat much and her reaction was "oh, you're not pregnant are you?"

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