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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

HELP! How do you stop people touching your belly?

25 replies

PinkyPromise77 · 29/01/2018 15:43

In all fairness I'm early on but my mum already tried to rub my non existent belly and I found it extremely irritating :/ I know it may sound weird as she is my mum and she is just excited but the thought of people touching me just gives me shudders and if my mum already irritates me I know I will hate it if anyone else tries... Has anyone else experienced similar feelings? How did you deal with it if you hated the idea as well? What did you say to them?

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0310Star · 29/01/2018 15:53

I'm exactly the same, my mum tried touching my belly and I really snapped at her, I didn't mean to but I felt it was such an invasion of privacy!
I've let everyone know that I will not be accepting any belly touching, and if they try they shall be swatted

FancyNewBeesly · 29/01/2018 15:55

Get one of those "hands off the bump" tshirts?

Honestly I don't know. I was sick to death of being touched by strangers when I was pg.

Abitnutty · 29/01/2018 15:56

I push people's hands away! Friends, family. Randoms.. I don't care lol. My belly, my baby, my body.. I can't stand it it's rude!

mumonashoestring · 29/01/2018 15:58

My family weren't a problem but I had to explain to my colleagues that I would consider anyone trying to squeeze me to see if I was ripe yet to be giving me carte blanche to grab any part of them I chose and squeeze as hard as I could for as long as I liked.

Owlettele · 29/01/2018 16:01

It is rude. I remember fil saying it's the same as assault. It's still your body your choice. I just used to step back or remove hands.

My Friend made me laugh. Stranger stroked his wife's bump once so he stroked their face. The horror this caused got the message accross.

mindutopia · 29/01/2018 16:06

I think you need to have a constant resting bitch face. I do and this has never happened to me. I don't come across as the sort of person you'd want to touch without permission (at least not without getting punched in the face).

hannknitted · 29/01/2018 16:45

I'm pregnant with my first baby and am only 14 weeks but have had this once already from a work colleague, a couple of weeks ago - I was so surprised / not expecting it and really didn't know how to deal with it! Especially since there is literally nothing to see - I don't have a bump or anything yet... Not only is it really inappropriate but I'm really not sure what she was expecting - it's not as if she was going to feel a kick from the baby which at that point was the size of a kiwi fruit and still tucked down in my pelvis!

gryffen · 29/01/2018 17:14

Smack their hands away and if anyone complains just tell them it's threatening behaviour to you and your protecting bump.

No-one has a right to touch you without permission no matter who they are.

redexpat · 29/01/2018 17:15

I slapped 2 hands away and shouted fuck off for good measure.

TakeitEasy23 · 29/01/2018 17:28

mindutopia has a good approach to this. sadly, the grab happens when you are off guard. if you have a constant antisocial kind of face, people will mind their own business to an extent and even if they don't, you will be alert. It's extremely annoying to have to be in that alert and preemptive strike state. I'm sure baby would prefer a relaxed mum. It is definitely akin to assault. Family and friends can be told beforehand but the strangers are the worst. They come up to you when you're out and about. You are supposed to be enjoying yourself but you have got to be alert, which is a shame. If they do something, they are giving you a free invite to grab them wherever. Just make sure that if you do, do something to stand up for yourself, that you are safe.

mustbemad17 · 29/01/2018 17:33

Bite them. In my first pregnancy it didn't bother me so much, with this one (3rd) i feel like shit, my stomach muscles are screaming at me & i am currently quite resentful of anybody not pregnant. Some randomer in the supermarket tried to touch my bump today, telling DD that she was a lucky girl to be having a baby brother or sister...i just growled at her. DD helpfully said 'mummy doesn't like that, my brother is hurting her' very matter of factly. My next step is to bite them!

bookgirl1982 · 29/01/2018 18:20

Either pat their tummy back, or just snap "please don't do that".

Winterfellismyhome · 29/01/2018 18:37

My DPs mum did this when i was only about 8 weeks i told her it was all preexisting fat and she took her hand away looking uncomfortable

Passmethecakeplease · 29/01/2018 18:40

I had this with my MIL. She would rub my non existent bump, even moving my hands out the way so she could. I'd protest and say I don't like it but she would respond that she couldn't help it as she 'just had to'.

In the end I had to actually sit her down and explain quite firmly I don't like it when people touch my stomach uninvited. She did stop after that.

I don't mind so much now I actually have a bump, as long as I'm asked first, but she has gone so far the other way now because I sat her down before. At least she got the message!

You really do have to spell it out with people and be perfectly clear.

CL1982 · 29/01/2018 18:46

Touch theirs back ;) I take a step back in all seriousness...

toomuchangelcake · 29/01/2018 20:24

I was so sick of the belly rubbing last time!!! Luckily it's not started yet! A distant work colleague was obsessed.
She didn't take no for an answer until one day I said I'm really gassy today and I might fart, so I wouldn't rub it anymore if I were you. Ever. And just glared at her.

Lavenderdays · 29/01/2018 20:50

Slap them! This irritates me too, the only person that has dared do it is dd1 and obviously didn't have the heart to slap her but did ask her to stop after she persisted for a while.

ClareG86 · 29/01/2018 21:59

I threatened to puke on someone who wouldn't stop rubbing my belly. She knew it wasn't an empty threat as I had just returned from work after suffering from hideous hyperemesis!

QueenAravisOfArchenland · 29/01/2018 22:06

This has literally never happened to me in two pregnancies. I think the resting bitch face is key: I have a proper case of that and am known to be "scary". So just focus hard on projecting the vibe that you will bite anyone who tries, I think.

Bubblysqueak · 29/01/2018 22:08

I had a very quick slap reflex where I would without even thinking but the had away, almost like a reflex. No-one tried it a 2nd time.

Original poster

PinkyPromise77 · 30/01/2018 09:00

Thanks all :) some made me really giggle... I think it's harder when it's your own family as you don't really want to offend them but I really will be totally petrified if it happens in public with a stranger lol!!! I am worried I will be so shocked someone dared to touch me I may freeze hehehe

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LalalalalaLand · 30/01/2018 09:06

My Mum did it once and then when she went to do it again I flinched and said I didn't like it. She was a bit miffed but accepted it.
My MIL was told time after time by DH that I didn't like it yet she would always do it when saying hello and would accompany it with "Oh look how big you are." I told DH that next time I'm pregnant and she does it I will do the same back to her and say "Oh look how big you are!"
It annoys the hell out of me - they wouldn't dare do it if you weren't pregnant!!

Scoleah · 30/01/2018 09:11

I had a filling in the dentist when I was around 8 months, and I was laying there with my mouth open, and all the dental assistant did was cradle my bump and tell me how amazing it felt to feel the baby kick.
First time I'd been to that Dentist... & the last!

Original poster

PinkyPromise77 · 30/01/2018 14:35

@scoleah... that's super weird when it comes from health professionals I guess... random! Did you say anything to her?

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Scoleah · 30/01/2018 18:48

@PinkyPromise77 I couldn't at the time as my mouth was wide open when she was doing my Filling lol...
Afterwards they did a Scale, and the woman with the suction leant over and sucked in the dentists fringe and they fell about laughing, and told me I was finished.
I left with blood dribbling from my mouth, didn't give me anything to swill the bits from my mouth either,
Registered with another Dentist after lol

But was very weird!

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