Feeling a bit useless/bored and incapacitated.

[Lavenderdays]

I am a sahm, currently 31+5 with dc3.

I have been experiencing breathlessness over recent weeks (lots of tests including anaemia and no-one seems particularly worried - consultant led pregnancy).
I feel virtually useless and struggle to do the bare minimum ie. get dc1 off to pre-school in the mornings/dressed etc and myself dressed but apart from that feel largely unable to function. I have been taking short walks on most days as a daily target but now I am becoming huge and even this is a struggle. My hobby is writing which is great because I can sit down and do it but I am not feeling very inclined. I am not depressed as such just struggling to mobilise and looking forward to this all being over - I am carrying extra amniotic fluid and this is probably not helping. Fortunately, my dh has been brilliant with housework etc and my dc's but works full-time meaning that I am alone much of the time (or with dc2 whom I struggle to entertain in the afternoons also). Previously, relatively active - taking long walks/cycling and lost 2 stone before pregnancy. I seem to be spending the majority of my time connecting with others on mumsnet. It's as if the world is just carrying on around me and I feel stuck somehow. Anyone else feeling incapacitated late on in pregnancy?

I knuckled down and did some writing after typing this post and also managed to squeeze in a short walk before picking dc up from pre-school - feel better for having been proactive. Feeling about 90 at the moment - one friends daughter commented about how I was walking like an old woman recently when I am use to walking up hills etc. just want to get back to being nearer my old self I guess.

I have days/weeks like that and then other weeks I am motivated to do loads. This is a short time in your life so try not to focus on it as a permanent thing, just go with what your body allows and what you feel motivated to do day by day. Short walks definitely help me to blow off the cobwebs so I make sure I get out 2/3 times a day otherwise I start to hibernate. I feel your pain, I am pregnant with DC3 and 33 weeks so its the last stretch that I’m trying to enjoy but I just want it done. I wish the world would pass me by though, everyone is still expecting me to meet up and host play dates and cook/entertain family when I want to wind down. My DC2 is sick with an ongoing illness so that is all I am prepared to focus on, I decided today I am telling people no to everything until baby is at least 6 months old....well I’m saying it internally, like I’d get away with that! 🙂

Inappropriate...hope your dc2 feels better soon x

I think with me, being pregnancy no. 4 the novelty has worn off plus I think I am pretty enormous (and being told so).
Wow, hosting play dates and entertaining family etc. does sound pretty exhausting, fortunately I am managing to side step all of this and intend to have a pretty low key first six months/Summer. Most of my friends have older children (8 years +) and I think they have forgotten how exhausting pregnancy can be etc. so not much in forthcoming in the sympathy stakes!

@Lavenderdays oh my days this is so my life. After finishing up for my 'maternity leave' type thing from my MSc (which was only part time anyway) a few weeks ago I have been so useless.

I haven't worked this time round though so have spent a lot of time alone and much time feeling the same as you too. But all things change, all things pass, and it's nearly hear for us two now anyway. 35 weeks myself (35 years more like!).

There's a March baby thread I started, you should definitely come and say hi! Passes the time and it's very good to connect with others when you can and feel like it.

I have never in my life had this much time on my hands but I know I never will again so just going with the flow and embracing the lazyness. Do obviously feel like a massive slob though 90% of the time.

As soon as I get a busy day though I feel like wonder woman so swings and roundabouts

@InappropriateUsername another day checked off though today and definitely be strong on your hybernating rule post baby. My midwife said after labour now she advises a week in bed, and 2 weeks on the sofa afterwards.

So 'doctors orders' you can tell the swarming well wishers !

When's your due date @InappropriateUsername? Guess about the 19th March?

Hi Pottery

Just popped onto the March thread - I feel like all I do is moan though.

It would be lovely to have the time on my hands - if only I felt like doing something with it...unfortunately, I think I've missed out on feeling like wonder woman...more like I wonder where the woman I physically knew has gone. Not helped by the leopard skin leggings woman, gym bunny with perfect hair and make up who lives opposite to me... oh so glamourous...and I feel oh so frumpy and jealous - I'm only a few years older than her (I'll blame it on the hormones!) plus having had three further pregnancies that she has had probably hasn't helped things! Lol x

@Lavenderdays moaning on here gives people energy, and patience, for communication in the real world. I literally am aroused by even a hint of pregnant moaning on here! I love it! I can 'live' through it so to speak.

Pregnancy is so unbelievably boring and you do loose a lot of your identity, plus you can't even aspire to squatting at the gym in leggings a little to tight because....you f*cking with child!

Dam them all. I'm hybernating and hiding from the world till the end pretty much now. The outside world is far too annoying and does my self esteem absolutely no good.

Post birth I'm having my entire face Lasered (pigmentation issues) and hitting the treadmill followed by an entire bottle of red wine to myself when/if Im on my feet again

We will be fierce again!

@Lavenderdays and if this is number 4 you are wonder woman. You absolute legend frankly. You'll be laughing on the other side of your face when your back to yourself again and you have four beautiful children.

They better keep you in the manner your accustomed to in your old age though ! (That is why we have children right?)

Lavender you sound as if you are on the same wavelength as me. Yes, yes, that is what I'm doing hiding from the world - you're spot on about it being annoying and not particularly good for my self esteem - you have managed to articulate this perfectly x

No, sadly will never have four beautiful children (just three!) I lost my ds at 22 weeks nearly three years ago...this is my fourth pregnancy and quite frankly dd2 is a miracle (was told I was highly unlikely to have any more children by fertility consultant -advised IVF etc. after dd1) and dd3 (if she does come along) will be both a miracle and a rainbow baby but this is definitely my last pregnancy whatever the outcome.

Sorry meant to say Pottery, you sound as if you are on the same wavelength as me etc. will blame this on baby brain!

@Lavenderdays I'm so sorry that I made that mistake, another baby brain moment here too. That must have been absolutely the wrongest time for you and your family, I would be completely gutted. I think your very brave to be going through another pregnancy and to still have a sense of humor, well, that speaks for itself. You are a woman though after all, and us women are AMAZING.

We do have to except that we may just not feel 'amazing' or powerful again for a bit longer and embrace the hermit times. Hay at least we will appreciate the juggling act to come once the babies here.

However much of a blessing, a fantastic, much wanted miracle, at this stage its still totally ok to say 'screw this, this is tiresome, fairly depressing, and the most mundane thing to be experiencing. 'where has my life gone!' I often wonder, who am I at the moment, and what is my life about?!

But it is just a moment isn't it? you know too, especially with what you experienced, that this really is just a moment in the whole of life and it will pass too.

But for the love of god someone bring on February

That's alright Pottery, no harm done...I had a year of bereavement counselling and although I miss him (or miss all the what could have beens) it is far easier to talk about it now x

Yes, this too shall pass...but please could it hurry along! Wise words indeed Pottery x