When to start mat leave? Struggling at 30 weeks

[Cloudwalk]

Please can I have some advice (please be nice!) as I am unsure of what to do.

I'm 30 weeks pregnant with first child. Suffering from mild pgp and back pain.

Currently I commute 1.5hrs each way to a stressful job in London/ client site and back.

I have just started wfh 2 days per week but still struggling. My mat leave is currently booked for week 38 of pregnancy, so 8 weeks more to go!

Should I pull it forward? I also have three weeks holiday I could take but as I only started my job at 4months pregnant I'm unnecessarily worrying about how this might look - thoughts?

I finished around 36 weeks both times and was so ready to finish at that point. First time I was working full time, second time I was working 3 days a week (2 days wfh near the end which helped massively) although a also had a toddler to look after.

I'd pull it forward at least a couple of weeks if you can depending on what leave you have and how much time you want to have off after the baby arrives. Make the most of your days wfh and try not to get caught up in the stresses of work (easier said than done I know). It's exhausting and no one will thank you for running yourself into the ground.

I'm finishing at 35 weeks, I've got a full time job and another child so am already worn out at nearly 30 weeks. Remember that the earlier you start mat leave, the earlier you have to go back. Could you get signed off for a while and see if that would help?

I'm self employed and although I could do with the extra money I've decided to finish at 32 weeks. I'm a massage therapist. My back is agony and I know for a fact I'm not doing my job as well as I usually do.

I was going to push on until a client of mine said "the most important people to look after right now are yourself and your baby". It was like someone flicked a switch and there and then I decided that I'd finish earlier than planned.

Maybe speak with your GP and mention the long commute + pgp, they may sign you off. Ultimately you need to do what is best for you. Your work will get over it and those who have been in a similar position will understand.

Thanks all! Really nice to hear some others in similar positions.

I think your right about the GP, so have booked and appointment for tomorrow and have a chat with her.

Sadly this morning we have had a family bereavement so it's all throwing my job into perspective now really!

If you had caught me four months ago it would have been a different story but you are right, baby comes first

I worked to 38 1/2 weeks with my first because i thought I owed it to work and wanted to be seen to be managing. I had rib ache, absesses and back pain and then had him 5 days later. 2nd time, I'd learnt my lesson and left at 32 weeks. I plan to do the same with no.3. It's not worth the stress or pain.

I finished at 36 weeks first time, as I have a 62 mile drive each way and thought I would be getting too tired by then. With hindsight wish I'd waited to 37 or 38 weeks as dd was born at 41w and I was so bored (and well). This time I'm waiting until 38 w but will bring it forward if i feel the need.
Just go with what your body tells you.

I finished at 35 weeks. I think if you're struggling with a commute/physical job/back pain etc or for any other reason then you just need to stop. You have to think of yourself and your baby.

Personally though, a few days shy of 35 weeks my body just told me NO! I had trouble putting my socks on , walking to the bus stop and walking up the stairs to my classroom. I decided to listen.

I have had a very routine pregnancy and been very lucky with very few symptoms. even i was struggling in my last week of work and my maternity leave started at 36 weeks. i have a pretty easy low stress job too, i could have done with going at 35weeks. glad i didn't as i will now get the extra pay and needed the time to handover etc but that last week was hard. didnt help that it was mid january so was prizing myself out of bed.

I worked until 36 weeks, but that's because I needed to add any annual leave to the end of maternity leave so I started being paid again and didn't use leave before the baby arrived.

Condolences for your bereavement OP, and that they won't get to see your new little one. Take care of yourself.

I have the same commute as you OP, on a busy tube 5 days a week and so I know how awful it is. I have really struggled with it, and the hours at work have left me feeling exhausted.

So decided to finish at 33 weeks. I keep getting told that this might be too early, but at the end of the day we know our bodies best and we have to do whats right for us and the baby.

I would definitely look at using the annual leave you have available, to go 3 weeks early.

I would aim to finish up around 35-36 weeks and use up your annual leave. I used to have a long commute as well (though mine was 3 hours, each way, 2-3 days a week, working from home the other days). There's no way I could have done that to 38 weeks. I actually stopped commuting just at the end of 2nd tri, not because of pregnancy, just because of how the project I was working on worked out and that was definitely the right time for me. I've finished work both times at 36 weeks and that felt right. With my first, she was born at 37 weeks, so I'm really grateful I at least had a few days off first. With this one, I was just so tired and sore by 35 weeks that I'm glad I was done by 36 weeks. I wouldn't worry how it would look. 38 weeks is quite late to start mat leave and it would be normal to use up some annual leave before you start to maximise your time off. I'd try to hang in there until then though so you get the most time off with baby that you can.

Ah OP. I thought 'finish at 36 weeks, save your mat leave!'

BIG MISTAKE. Am 36 weeks today, due to finish on Friday.....should have stopped last Friday. If you're done with it, stop. Honestly. Maybe try to stick it out until 33/34 for the money if you can.

Can you ask to work from home or work reduced hours?

You and baby come first op!

I planned to finish at 37 weeks but I was so ready at 30 weeks. I did develop a condition which made it really hard to even cope at home, let alone going into work.
My work let me finish at 31 weeks after the consultant even said he thought it was best!! After balling like a baby about it when I saw him.
Take care of yourself, don't be scared to finish early. I'm sorry for your loss x

My 1st came at 30+4, i was struggling so much, my pelvis was hurting and i couldnt stay awake, i wanted to work as long as i could (obviously my leave started when he was born) but i dont think i couldve even if i'd wanted to.
I finished at 31 weeks with my 2nd, i just couldnt stay awake, it was pointless! I had 4 weeks leave to use up so i took that then my mat leave started. He was born 2 weeks later anyway, so i'm glad i did!
I would listen to your body, some people have textbook pregnancies and can work up until they are about to drop, some people cant.