Telling people

[Bitsandbobsalot]

I’m just over 12 weeks, had a scan on Saturday and bubs is perfect. I’m having my nhs 12 week scan on the 2nd feb (even tho I’ll be nearly 14weeks 😡) and if everything is good my dh is hoping to share our news with everyone. His parents know as do my dd’s but I’m dreading telling everyone. I’ve not even told my best friend. I’m worried about work knowing and I really don’t want the fuss. I’ve had many mc in the past all before the 7-8 week mark and I’ve no reason to believe that this little one isn’t perfect but I feel like telling people I’ll be jinxing it. I so want to be calm and relaxed about this pregnancy but to be honest I’m just so scared it’s all going to go wrong after ttc for so long (6 years)
Is it just me ? Everyone else seems to be excited to share the news I just don’t want to. I feel bad I’ll spoil the experience for my dh.

You won't be jinxing anything by telling people, but if you'd feel better keeping it to yourself for a bit longer then you should do exactly that.

When I found out I was pregnant again after a loss (TTC for 4 years), I decided to share the news very early on to my best friend and parents (think I was 6 weeks) as I felt I needed the support. I was surprised at how nice it was telling them, as I didn't get to do so with the last pregnancy.

As for everyone else, we waited until 20 weeks. We didn't do any big reveals or put anything on social media - like you I didn't want the fuss. I'm now 28 weeks and only just told my next door neighbours. It's only now that I've felt able to be excited which I think in totally normal. To anyone who questioned the lateness of sharing news, I'd say "it's been a bumpy road" - I find that this shuts people up very quickly without having to go in to any details.

You just have to do whats right for you and your DH regardless of what anyone else thinks.

I'm almost 22 weeks and understand how you feel. You can count the people who know one my hands as I can't bare the thought of untelling everyone when it all goes wrong.

I'll be keeping it like this as long as possible, hoping to get to 25 weeks :)

Definitely not just you... I had a mmc last year and I'm 17 weeks and still haven't told my sister or my dad... Or my super close friend (who I catch up with once a month but haven't since I was 8 weeks)... I didn't even tell dhs family until 15 weeks... All because I'm petrified. We told DDs at 13 weeks and they're over the moon bit I was really reluctant to. I feel like burying my head in the sand and not saying anything until baby is here. I can't even bring myself to seriously consider buying anything yet either.... I told work at 15 weeks and I'm a teacher... Still won't tell parents at school until after 20 weeks... No advice im afraid. I'm in the same boat. Dh is embracing it all and sharing and excited.... I just don't want to jinx anything like you said. I know it's irrational ... Just the way I feel 😳

I thought it was just me as google only has super happy pregnancy announcements that tbh fill me with dread. My dd’s (13&16) are so excited they are dying to tell there friends (who’s mothers are my friends) I feel so mean but I’ve bought time due to scan and screening been done later. Ive explained it as I want to be sure bubs is ok before we tell the world. Obviously a baby is happy news to share and I honestly thought if I ever got the chance I’d be screaming it from the roof tops.

@zaalitje that's exactly it... The thought of untelling people... Shiver

YES Hula you’ve explained perfectly how I’m feeling. I’d rather not tell anyone till I’ve actually had the baby. It does make me feel so guilty for my dh and dd’s as they are all so happy.

I know what you mean...My DDs didn't find out until Xmas holidays and desperate to tell friends when back at school. I really wanted to say.... Not yet but they're 7,9 - there's just no way they could keep it in so I just took a deep breath and hoped for the best. Had some DDs friends all me of it was true, they didn't believe her!

I'm still not really showing either and my coat hides any burger belly but yep im counting the days until 20 week scan hoping that I can feel the excitement more and praying all is ok.

I know exactly what you mean, OP. I haven't had any losses or fertility struggles but I still feel like telling people is somehow tempting fate. Any time I tell someone it's always "I have news, all going well I will be having a baby..." or "It's early days still, but I'm pregnant" or similar. Never unqualified! I've had to tell a lot of people now (I'm 16 weeks and baby is taking matters into her own hands as I'm starting to show) but I've held back with friends and nearly all colleagues. I would wait until birth if I could!